To be annoyed with friend's smugness

[ratherstuck]

We've recently moved away from an area where there was only one school with a good reputation, it is also a catholic school. We are not catholic and didn't think we could ever get in to the school so we moved to another area where there are more school choices. My friend started to panic that they are not in a position to move so their dc will have to go to one of the less sought after schools.
Moving away was a decision that was right for our family, there were other reasons why it made sense. I started to feel like my friend resented me for moving, my DC got in to a lovely school and she often grilled me over what the school is like, felt like she was trying to pick holes. She started being a bit rude about the area we moved to as well. She was so worried, she placed her dc in to the nursery attached to the catholic school and got a c of e vicar to write them a letter to say they attended church. They don't, and they are not religious. Their DC came home from nursery clearly having been influence by the ethos and she made fun of it. This annoyed me as they want to send their dc to a religious school but does not follow the faith!
Anyway, the news is that they actually got in! I was happy for them as it is a nice school. But now she is being really smug because she thinks we moved away for nothing. We were clear that schools were only part of the reason. She is making comments along the lines of them still living in a nicer area with a sought after school, whereas we've gone to the effort of moving away and now live in a "less nice area".
I know this all sounds silly now seeing it all written down. But I might snap and point out that they lied to get in to their school!

Wonder if the friend is the same person on MN asking whether to take a 50K pay cut 😂

Firstly op your friend doesn't sound very kind so I think it's better for you that you have moved away. Time to cut those ties.
Secondly and more importantly, why would you ever want to go to a Catholic school when you do not follow their religion? You both seem to be obsessed with a school that is fundamentally not inclusive of 'all children'.

You're not friends. Don't waste headspace on what someone who you don't even like thinks. I can't get upset about her accessing an education my tax funds.

Catholic schools and other faith schools give the opportunity for children to follow their faith within an educational setting. It’s nothing to do about being none inclusive and quite frankly that’s just a way of attacking religion. Why have a system that takes the opportunity away for a child to follow their faith and to give it to somebody who doesn’t follow a faith?!! If you don’t follow a faith that’s fine, there are plenty of other schools out there.

I think people should lobby the local authority about all these other ‘poor’ schools that are supposedly out there that your child can’t go to, instead of putting the blame on faith schools!!

I just wonder how many times you have talked to her about your house move and getting your daughter into a lovely school that she has seen as perhaps your smugness? Obviously it’s been discussed quite a bit.

Kind of a tit for tat situation in the smugness I would guess and it’s her business how she got her daughter into that school. It doesn’t effect you at all so just forget it

Fair enough.
Let’s remove the government funding though.

But all state schools get government funding. Why should it be removed from faith schools?

So catholic’s and other faith schools are not tax payers then?!! Catholic schools are not independent!

Why should it be removed from faith schools?

Because a proportion use faith as a selection tool over kids in catchment area.

I would be perfectly happy for faith schools to stay, IMO they should be privately funded.

So it would be ok for them to receive gov funding if catchment ranks above the faith criteria?

Isn’t the fact that people who can afford houses in particular catchment areas is a de facto selection process?!!

So it would be ok for them to receive gov funding if catchment ranks above the faith criteria?

No. If they remove the faith aspect completely. I would support a completely secular state education system, with faith schools being privately funded.

Isn’t the fact that people who can afford houses in particular catchment areas is a de facto selection process?!!

Very often manipulated by schools that are selective on faith.

Hmmm???? How can the school buy the houses for the children to attend the school?!! It’s the people who buy the houses to attend the school, rather than the faith school manipulating this?!!

Slightly confused!!!

I moved away from an attractive market town to the outskirts of a ‘less nice’ city. It was right for many not obvious reasons. I got a lot of comments. It’s amazing what people will say about other people’s choices.

Anyway, seven years later I have made great friends and am really happy here. See your friend’s comments exactly as they are - revealing - and carry on moving on with your life.

Very well said Emmapeeler!!

I'd say you had a lucky escape moving away! I had a 'friend' who was in competition with me and placed herself on a pedestal. Was so relieved when I ended that 'friendship'. Life is too short for all that nonsense.

You are better off thinking yourself lucky that you didn't have to send your children to the Catholic school. My ds got in a Catholic primary school, we chose it because it was considered to be an outstanding school by Ofsted, we arent catholic or church goers. Ds had a terrible time, he was bullied, the staff ignored his SEN, everything was heavily biased towards the catholic pupils, the other children were virtually ignored, if I complained I got told that I didn't understand the ethos of the school & the teachings of God. Live your life & let your friend to live hers, you have a new home & your children are happy in their new school without you having to appear something you arent, unlike her.

Genuine friends should not be competing with each other and she sounds jealous. You sound jealous too. Move on, concentrate on yourself and your family and don't be concerned about what other people think re. decisions that you have made that are in the best interests of your family.
It may not be fair, but a lot of people 'fake it' to get their kids into faith schools. Get over it and move on.
Was your other option to not move house and fake it too!?
You seem more concerned about no longer living in a nice area over the assumed 'better' state funded faith based education for your child.
Most of us take risks in life, to a varying degree. You decided to move - your decision. Your 'so-called friend' decided to stay put - her decision. Again, suck it up and move on.