To think Charlotte Lucas had the right idea

[GreenPillows]

With marrying Mr Collins?

I reread P&P recently through less romantic/more cynical eyes after a bit of age and life experience. I used to think what she did was awful but now I’ve changed my mind.

AIBU?

@Lweji you just KNOW that the MMcF Darcy will cry after sex.
Mr Collins will pray after sex.
Mrs Charlotte Lucas Collins will pray during sex.

Lweji when I speak of Darcy I mean Colin Firth, there is no other. Another ~gavel~

Deadringer YES. That is all. [supportive gavel]

I was thinking more on this, having already visited this thread.

I made a mistake and spent six mo the in a relationship with someone who was and always will be a good friend. In a way, I was sort of settling. He's a great guy but our depth of love for each other didn't make it right. I was in a way trying to settle, trying to make my life right and thought this was the way to go about it. But while I think others could work this situation to their advantage, I just wasn't being true to myself lt my friend/ex. I look back fondly on that time but it wasn't right.

It’s not just that you’d have to have sex with him though, you’d have to listen to him. Separate beds after the honeymoon for sure.

Yes, but Charlotte’s got her own private parlour and she’s got him hooked on gardening. So she has minimised the amount of wittering time available to him.

To be fair it would still be an existence full of irritation, but preferable to being an ‘old maid’ at that time.

She'd learn to tune him out after a while. He likes the sound of his own voice, so he'd be happy with the occasional 'yes dear' while he waffled away, and Charlotte could get on with what she was doing.

This is a brilliant thread, I agree that Charlotte made a mature, pragmatic, clear headed decision and believe it worked out well and very much to her advantage. Charlotte had the measure of Mr Collins and was clever enough to manage him in her favour without him knowing. Charlotte was, again, wise enough to know what was required in respect of Lady Catherine.

Austen wrote terrific characters and there are so many layers to them and her writing as proven by this fascinating thread.

Mr Collins would say “thank you” after sex. Every time.

I've been thinking about this some more wondering: what is the modern day equivalent of Charlotte's decision? Maybe staying with someone you don't love but can tolerate for the children/house/postcode?

I think it would have to be more than that - staying with someone you really can't stand and who makes your skin crawl, and who has the kind of extreme mummy issues that end up leading to jawdropping MIL threads on MN, because you've been a SAHM for years and don't see how you can support yourself if you leave. I like to think that if Charlotte posted a thread now about how to deal with her MIL we would gradually backstiffen her to LTB!

That's why I voted YABU, even though I do see why Charlotte made a reasoned, pragmatic decision. I think Jane Austen's own choices are an indictment of Charlotte's too.

Great thread, OP, and making me want to reread all her books!

Mr Collins would say “thank you” after sex. Every time.

Haha, I think he would also want his underpants ironed. And would tuck his vest into them.

Although Charlotte is never going to be in love with Mr Collins, I think over time she'll grow fond of him, and love him as one might love an irascible old auntie, say.

His best quality (aside from financial stability and social respectability) is that he means well. Unfortunately, he lacks the intelligence and social awareness to translate his good intentions into behaviour that will be pleasing to others (excepting those equally lacking intelligence such as Lady C., Mrs Bennet and Sir William Lucas).

But his good intentions are evident in his behaviour. He thinks by marrying one of the Bennet girls, he will rescue them from the consequences of the entail and please Lady C - he just isn't capable of realising his courtship is odious to Elizabeth. He sees Lady Catherine as an asset he can share with his wife - he doesn't realise she's a PITA. He has no idea he isn't delighting Elizabeth by introducing her at Rosings. His problem is that he's deluded and has too high opinion of himself - but not that he is innately selfish (though he may be unintentionally selfish) or unkind.

I bet Charlotte misses him if he dies before she does.

Charlotte made the right decision for her at the time. I think a lot of our perceptions of Mr Collins is based on the BBC version. I’ve had several family members have arranged marriages - they tend to work due to lower expectations. I see no reason why Charlotte’s arrangement is any different. She walked into it with her eyes wide open.

I think Jane Austen's own choices are an indictment of Charlotte's too.
Not necessarily, Jane had her writing which would have been fulfilling, life as a spinster with no talent and no purpose in life would have been quite different.

Lweji when I speak of Darcy I mean Colin Firth, there is no other. Another ~gavel~

Exactly!

David Rintoul - swoon as Darcy though I think it’s the voice

I think Mr Collins would expect Charlotte to thank him post coitus. After all it's not everyone who is fortunate enough to have sex with someone who enjoys the patronage and condescension of the great Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Yes Charlotte very wisely keeps him busy in the garden, and packs him off to Rosings as often as possible. If all of that leaves him any time or energy she might just 'accidently' let the pigs escape into the garden occasionally to keep him busy.

Oh God, he’d probably talk about Lady Catherine in bed.

Can you imagine how overbearing Lady C is going to be over Charlotte's pregnancy?

I love the way this Mr. C is portrayed!
m.youtube.com/watch?v=ikUKmrpjikk

Washing that’s interesting- that’s the sort of thing I was thinking about myself when I started the thread. Sounds like you made the right choice though

While I love Mr Darcy wet in the lagoon as much as the next gal I do wonder if it would be hard to correct bad technique with someone so aloof.

I don't think Charlotte's position is comparable with Jane Austen's own position though. JA had just one sister and they had five brothers who were all doing well, and one of whom had become very rich. They also seemed quite a close happy family; she and her sister seemed to have visited their brothers and families often. So I think she had the security of knowing she would always have a home, and with people she cared about and who cared about her.

Also JA's sister Cassandra had an annuity from a man she had been engaged to but who had died before they could be married. So Jane was the only one of the family who was wholly in need of support.
Charlotte was the eldest of her family and there seem to have been lots of younger members so there was probably a much higher proportion of family members who might need supporting as opposed to family members who could provide support. And think of all Charlotte could have done for her younger siblings with Lady C's connections!

Charlotte had clearly weighed up her options carefully and made the best life choice for herself.

I feel that, as intelligent and quick witted as she was supposed to be, Elizabeth was surprisingly naïve about Charlotte's societal position.