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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for £500?

91 replies

AllsfairOrisit · 23/07/2019 18:14

Just about to start living with DP.

It’s my flat which I have a mortgage on, currently paying £900 pm.

Bills come to roughly £400 pm. This includes utilities and tv, broadband and council tax. Obviously Split in half would be £200 each.

AIBU to also charge a small rent? I was thinking about £300 on top of the £200 for bills.

OP posts:
WhiteDust · 23/07/2019 18:15

Yes. He needs to pay the going rate for a 'house share' and bills.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/07/2019 18:16

That seems reasonable given their name won't be in the paperwork so if you split they walk away with nothing.
How does that leave you both for disposable income?

MichelleC69 · 23/07/2019 18:16

Feels like he'd be getting off lightly at £500 but it depends on future arrangements. When my partner moved in with me we split everything down the middle including the mortgage on my house, but now we're married so technically it's his house too.

Lazypuppy · 23/07/2019 18:17

You need to charge him rent.

Don't let him pay rhe mortgage or he could get a claim to your property

Original poster
AllsfairOrisit · 23/07/2019 18:19

The going rate for a property similar to mine is around £1350

OP posts:
anothernotherone · 23/07/2019 18:21

Half of everything is £750...

Be careful about him paying towards the mortgage if you're unsure of him enough to be asking MN about whether it's unreasonable to ask him to contribute 50% of your joint living expenses. If he was a keeper he'd have assumed he'd be paying half of everything and you'd have been having natural conversations about it.

If you're afraid of his reaction to being asked to pay only 36% of your joint housing costs you need to be very clear he's a tenant and get him to sign a proper contract.

Cloudyyy · 23/07/2019 18:21

Make sure he isn’t entitled to a claim on your house after a while! Unless of course you plan to stay together and wish to share property.

HollowTalk · 23/07/2019 18:22

I'd definitely charge him - why should he live rent-free?

Just make sure that any repairs or improvements are paid for by you.

What does he pay in rent at the moment? What does he get for his money?

doubleshotespresso · 23/07/2019 18:23

£750 is surely what he needs to be paying?

user1493413286 · 23/07/2019 18:25

I’d charge him half your mortgage as rent, that’s still a lot cheaper than what your property would cost. The only caveat I’d say is if you have a 4 bedroom house for example and if you were to rent together you’d only have a cheaper one bedroom flat for example. I say that because if he’s moving in with you he has no choice on the size of the place and location.

stucknoue · 23/07/2019 18:25

Half the bills is fair as is help with any wear and tear items but any upgrades you should pay as it's your property. Have a tenancy agreement so both he and you know how you stand (download a free template then alter to make it relevant). Put into the agreement that in the event of you going your separate ways you will expect him to leave within the month.

HollowTalk · 23/07/2019 18:26

What does he suggest he pays? That's always a bit of a test.

daphine2004 · 23/07/2019 18:27

I would split everything down the middle and get him to sign a tenancy agreement/or similar confirming the same - as you would if you were letting a room to someone you were not involved with.

Original poster
AllsfairOrisit · 23/07/2019 18:28

Half of everything is £750...

Yes it is. But I don’t want him to contribute to the mortgage, or for it to seem so in case things go wrong in the future. If I didn’t have a mortgage at all then it would be £200 split 2 ways. But his possible future solicitors could effectively argue squatters rights. That’s why I came up with £500 all inclusive of bills so that it would be perfectly clear cut should it ever get to it - God Forbid. I do think he’s a keeper and he’s more than happy to pay whatever I suggest, be it £500 or £1000

OP posts:
Malyshek · 23/07/2019 18:28

I wouldn't necessarily charge him half of everything. Like someone else said, if they split he walks away with nothing.

By all means, ask him to pay what you consider a fair share of living expenses and something towards the rent, but you really need to do this before he actually moves in.

Malyshek · 23/07/2019 18:29

Edit - I mean you need to tell him what he'd be expected to pay before he moves in.

500 pounds sounds quite reasonable.

anothernotherone · 23/07/2019 18:29

WhiteDust I disagree there unless he's getting his own room - in a houseshare you don't have to sleep in your landlord's bed! At least in a legitimate houseshare!

Below market rate for houseshare is absolutely appropriate if he isn't going to have a room of his own (even assuming that you sleep together if you have a second bedroom that would be his for storage or studying or a hobby or a gaming room and would have a bed in it so you could kick him out of your room, which would remain yours not "ours". If you're doing that then you could go the market rate route.

If he's sleeping in your bed with no space of his own £500 for nominal rent contribution plus half of bills is fine but if you don't trust him he signs a DIY tenancy agreement so he can't try to take you for a share of the property when you split up and he claims the £500 was 55% of the mortgage, making the flat more his than yours, or topping up his 50% to make you equal on the deposit you previously paid...

If it's a genuine relationship you are completely sure about you'd have discussed this with him naturally, without even considering anything else, and he would never dream of you carrying his share or you being out of pocket compared to him...

Penguincity · 23/07/2019 18:34

£500,sounds fine, my dp pays £370 ( I buy most of the groceries) but my mortgage is about half of yours. This suits us fine and I definately have more money than before he moved in

HUZZAH212 · 23/07/2019 18:35

Will he also split food/household shoppjng on top of the £500? If not it'll use up the percentage he pays very quickly.

Shoxfordian · 23/07/2019 18:37

He should be paying half

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 23/07/2019 18:38

You need a cohabitation agreement. Very simple. A decent family high street solicitor will sort it. Will save all heap of problems should you ever separate and he claim he has made a contribution directly referable to the house. You know he isn’t. But it would amaze you what people claim once a relationship is over

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 23/07/2019 18:39

I know this was not an answer to your question! Others have done that.

Original poster
AllsfairOrisit · 23/07/2019 18:39

Will he also split food/household shoppjng on top of the £500?

We’ll be doing our own food/household in theory but I expect in practice that the bulk will be picked up by me. Mainly because of practicality more than anything else. However he is very generous at picking up tabs on nights out etc so it evens out in the long run.

OP posts:
GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 23/07/2019 18:45

Do you both earn the same?

I ask as my DP moved into my house three years ago. My mortgage is £880, my bills £500. He is only a few years into a new career, and his salary is £20k to my £46k. So I only ask £400 a month off him, I did "give" him a bedroom for his boy stuff (huge TV, Xbox, wardrobe of clothes etc) and we pretty much goes halves on shopping and I pay for meals out etc 2/3 of the time. Which I don't mind. He's better off as he's not paying through the nose for his rental property and bills and I'm £400 a month better off. Plus, the obvious added bonus of living together, which has been fab.

Oh and I pay for all maintenance of the house, I just paid for garden to be landscaped for example.

I don't call it rent and I did download a document from some legal site about co-habiting and him having no claim of my home if we split, which he was happy to sign. I've lived in my house 14 years and worked bloody hard to buy my ex-H out of the mortgage, I can't and won't start again if we ever break up. That said, if we marry or have kids, things would change I imagine.

mussolini9 · 23/07/2019 18:49

That’s why I came up with £500 all inclusive of bills so that it would be perfectly clear cut should it ever get to it - God Forbid

Then you need to make it clear cut - under professional legal guidance.
Whether he pays £500, £750, or any other sum is NOT indicative of his potential future rights in this instance.