Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for £500?

91 replies

AllsfairOrisit · 23/07/2019 18:14

Just about to start living with DP.

It’s my flat which I have a mortgage on, currently paying £900 pm.

Bills come to roughly £400 pm. This includes utilities and tv, broadband and council tax. Obviously Split in half would be £200 each.

AIBU to also charge a small rent? I was thinking about £300 on top of the £200 for bills.

OP posts:
TeenTimesTwo · 23/07/2019 18:50

Will council tax be going up as you lose the single person's discount? Don't forget to allow for that.

Stillstrawberrywater · 23/07/2019 18:52

Yes one way or another you need to get this sorted. He needs to realise that he has to pay his fair share, and also the house stays in your name.

mindproject · 23/07/2019 18:57

Charge him 200 for bills and 500 or 600 for rent. Make it clear he is paying rent. I don't think he could have a claim on your house unless you get married, though I could be wrong. It's probably a good idea to have a little rental agreement drawn up.

And make sure you have a rota for all household chores from day 1.

ReanimatedSGB · 23/07/2019 18:58

Remember you can agree to renegotiate in future. If, for instance, you decide to marry or have DC, it would be fair to discuss changing these arrangements especially as getting married will legally change whatever set up you might have previously agreed.
It's not unreasonable to charge him rent when it's a relatively new relationship, and you own the property. But there may come a point where you are sufficiently committed for it to be more reasonable and fair to allow him a stake in what has become his home.

ShirleyPhallus · 23/07/2019 18:59

When my DP moved in my bills were about the same and that’s the figure we agreed too. It also meant we were saving the same amount compared to where we were before

I asked this question on here too and got answers ranging from “he sounds like a cocklodger if he doesn’t pay half” to “it sounds like you are with him for the money” to “you should just add him to the mortgage right away and split all assets”. Just a warning for any more batshit answers Grin

thetimekeeper · 23/07/2019 19:00

900 + 400 = 1300
1300 / 2 = 650

No?!

Anyway, have you discussed finances with him?

TanMateix · 23/07/2019 19:04

He will be paying rent, not mortgage, and you are free to do with that money as you please, including paying the mortgage.

He won’t have a claim to your property whatsoever unless you put him in the mortgage/house deeds or you marry him.

I think it is a fair agreement to ask for half of the bills and half of the housing costs as he is likely to be paying more if living in a shared house. Now, if your housing costs are bigger than the average price for a room in shared accommodation then lower the contribution to that, otherwise you are creating a disbalance and sponsorising him for free rent.

TanMateix · 23/07/2019 19:07

Ps. I would do the split at halves, much easier to negotiate an increase on what he pays if your bills and mortgage payments become higher (there are well founded rumours that interests are going up if we end up with a no deal Brexit)

justasking111 · 23/07/2019 19:07

My friend had a partner who was a bankrupt to prevent any backlash from creditors, she had a rent book and he was a lodger officially. That worked well for them.

Lottle · 23/07/2019 19:15

Half the mortgage interest (rather than capital repayment) plus bills might be an option to consider.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/07/2019 19:17

Charge him 200 for bills and 500 or 600 for rent
The bills are 400 so 200 is half, fine. The mortgage is 900 so he's expected to pay 2/3rds with no claim to the property?? This is someone she loves and sees a future with, not a tenant she's looking to get the most money out of

OP why would you pay your own household and food costs in theory? Won't you be eating together and sing whatever is in the house? I'd add some on for food

Jojobears · 23/07/2019 19:20

Hi, much as everyone on here means well,
Most of us are not legal experts. Go see a solicitor. It may cost a bit, but it could save issues further down the line

HappilyHarridan · 23/07/2019 19:24

Wow, when I moved in with my partner he didn’t charge me any rent, we just shared bills. The house was his so he paid the mortgage without my help. Reading all these answers makes me realise how generous he was. Although he did earn so much more than me that even with that arrangement he still had more disposable income than I had.

FlamedToACrisp · 23/07/2019 19:28

I think £500 is fair. By the way, you don't need to concern yourself about future squatters' rights - squatting is now only legal in empty commercial property, not allowed in residential property.

Original poster
AllsfairOrisit · 23/07/2019 19:35

@SleepingStandingUp

Agree with your post, thank you. He’s my best friend and lover, possibly/probably future DH.

He works late most days and so we’d only eat together maybe 4 nights a week. He’d get his own breakfast and lunches.

I had considered what extra costs there would be after bills and thought £300 to cover miscellaneous would be fair.

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 23/07/2019 19:36

I think he should pay 1/2 bills but not mortgage as it’s your flat. He’s not your lodger

Passthecherrycoke · 23/07/2019 19:38

@justasking111 that’s completely bizarre- his creditors couldn’t take / put a charge on a house he doesn’t own Shock they shouldn’t have bothered

AuditAngel · 23/07/2019 19:41

Remember to allow for losing the single person discount on the council tax. That is a direct cost of him moving in, so either 50% of total council tax or the lost discount (marginal cost of him moving in)

Batqueen · 23/07/2019 19:45

Any partner that treated me like I was just another lodger I would not be moving in with!

Your proposal makes sense and it should be improving things for both of you. I.e you get to live with your partner which is NOT the same as renting to a lodger and get help with bills and a rental contribution.

He gets cheaper rent than elsewhere and gets to live with you.

Win/win

SometimesMaybe · 23/07/2019 19:50

I think that’s reasonable (and presumably gives him the opportunity to save a few hundred pounds each month so his own “running away” fund).
Only other thing I would do is each put a couple of hundred into a joint spends account for your socialising and food budget.

Presumably that would leave you both with a bit left over each month.

TanMateix · 23/07/2019 19:55

I think he should pay 1/2 bills but not mortgage as it’s your flat. He’s not your lodger
He is not, but are you suggesting he should leave the burden to cover the whole of the accommodation costs in exchange of unconditional love?

Nah! It sets a bad precedent. You enter into these things as equals, where there is a benefit for both parties.

AcrossthePond55 · 23/07/2019 20:05

I'm not in the UK so I'm not sure whether or how a partner would claim a share of the house, but just to be on the safe side, I'd set an agreement wherein he pays the utilities (all of them) and you pay the mortgage. You'd be 'shorting' yourself £100/mo (he'd pay £400 instead of 'rent' of £500), but I'd think if you had an agreement specifying his contribution was for utilities (which may very well go up with an additional person in the house) it would be pretty clear that he wasn't paying the mortgage or even a share of it.

separatebeds · 23/07/2019 20:24

I don't think the cost of your mortgage matters - don't tell him what your mortgage is. He needs to pay a fair rent for sharing with you.

NameChange92 · 23/07/2019 20:42

think he should pay 1/2 bills but not mortgage as it’s your flat. He’s not your lodger

^this. It's reasonable to ask him for a bit extra for extra wear and tear but charging him rent makes you a huge CF

gotthefaceon · 23/07/2019 20:43

I think this is tricky. I've known a few friends share where one owns the home and they haven't charged rent at all so that the other partner can make an investment in case they separated.

Landlords basically make money either because they own the property outright or the tenant is paying/part paying their mortgage. I don't think you want to make money from your partner. I know that's a bit simplistic but its roughly how I see it. I know that creates a complication because if he isn't investing your have very different levels of disposable income to deal with. But I would still think about the fact is a relationship, not a tenant when deciding how to share costs.

I'm not overly sentimental about it being a relationship....I would definitely formalise things, protect your home etc. But I'm not sure I would be thinking about "rental" income either. Perhaps just sharing living costs.