AIBU. I already know what y'all will say but i need an opinion

[Vacanzaromane]

So my partner has a 16 yr teen from a previous marriage living with him. A year ago i bought him ( partner) an guitar for his birthday as he always "dreamed of learning to play it". Long story short, guitar sits in a corner of the lounge, i think he touched it twice, his son (living with him for just under a year) likes to "play " with it and im taken aback by this but ive said nothing. About 2 months ago i saw it wasn't in his usual place but hidden away in a different corner. Upon closer inspection i noted 2 strings had come off. I asked him and he says his son "put it down" and it just came off. 1st, AIBU to be pissed off, and 2nd part of me wants to take it, fix it and learn to play it myself!

Don't think OP is coming back

Guitar strings break all the time. I'd be pleased the kid likes it and would probably buy him some spare strings, plectrums etc.

YABU. It was a gift. Clearly an unwanted one.
Once you've given a gift it's no longer your business what happens to it.
Let it go.

Wow im a bit surprised at the responses. When i said play i meant like its a toy. Not as im learning to play the guitar. And im no step mom from hell but he breaks things and his dad defends him all the time. And i won't really take it back. That was kinda a joke. But im surprised at the comments. Thanks anyway

@AcrossthePond55 I have no issues with his son per se but he does play with things that aren't toys

I simply can't believe that nobody gets me. My gift was unappreciated, yes, perhaps the issue here should actually be with the father and now im being told im unreasonable

Whatever his child does with the guitar, it's his to decide what happens. Not yours.

Clearly, he wanted to learn the guitar like I want to go to the gym. Wishful thinking.

If you're concerned about how careful or not his child is with material stuff in the home, then address it like a parental team would.

What do you mean like a toy? Is he sliding it down the stairs or using it as a golf club? He is a teenager, surely he is picking it up and strumming it? That's how it should be used. Strings break all the time and a guitar is not an antique ornament meant to be looked at but not touched. It should be touched, tuned, played. Your partner obviously only likes the idea of learning to play, rather than really wanting to put the effort into it. I'd suggest he tells the son to look on YouTube on how to restring and tune it, and buy him a couple of lessons to see if it sparks something

@CrazyOldBaglady actually he was jumping on bed and pretending to be a rock star ( i kid you not). But y'all are right. Im being unreasonable

Thanks y'all for the responses. Xoxo

I can actually see where you're coming from, OP. You believed him, spent money on something as a gift, and it's just sat there. Why not suggest to him that as it's not being used, and was expensive, it might be better to sell it and get him something he will use.

He's 16 not 6. He's not a child who 'plays with toys'. He's a young adult.

And acting the rock star is pretty normal for a 16 yr old.

You really don't like him much do you?

OMG

"actually he was jumping on bed and pretending to be a rock star ( i kid you not)."

Either you really don't like the boy or you had the most miserable childhood. What's so unreasonable about that? He sounds great

It’s not about the guitar. It’s about your partner having personality traits you don’t like, which is fair enough. But don’t buy coercive gifts. They are transparent.

If someone actually dreams of playing the guitar, they buy one for themselves.

The guitar is a prop, dss is using it like a prop, he hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s dreaming of playing guitar too, in exactly the same way as your partner does - in his imagination.

Give yourself a shake for gods sake! He's 16 so it's not like the boy is driving thomas the tank engine over it! Get some replacement strings so the thing your partner clearly doesn't want can be used by someone.

I don't know how some people on mumsnet can live inside their own heads to be honest.

Wow! @Juells FINALLY somebody understands. There is hope yet. Lol

Possibly when you've had unanimous responses saying you are being unreasonable you should reflect a little about your POV being unusual rather then reject them saying you "simply can't believe it".

And yes, jumping on the bed pretending to be a rock star (ie presumably strumming the guitar) is pretty normal 16 year old behaviour. How about suggesting buying some rock music guitar books to encourage him to learn?

Have you name changed mid thread op?

I really hope you're from the south US, otherwise the "y'all" is seriously weird.

Well, I’d just buy new strings and start learning to play it myself.
I get your POV that DP doesn’t appreciate the gift, but that is always a risk when you buy a gift for someone, especially with a musical instrument. It doesn’t matter what he says he dreams of if he’s not a doer. Yes, it’s his gift, but I’d still use it, although not clear if you live together or not. I’d also tell DSS to start lessons and use it.

Don't worry OP, I do see where you're coming from and I'd probably feel the same tbh, since you put some thought into it and tried to come up with something you had reason to believe would be of interest!

I'd put it 'out of sight' for a while and if nobody goes near it, just sell it!!!

Was it expensive?

Name change fail there, OP - but did you really think people would agree with you?!

And acting the rock star is pretty normal for a 16 yr old.

So much this.
I'm well over 40 and wouldn't put it past me if I was fooling around with ds (14) or spotted him doing it.

That's right OP, whatever your name is now, ignore all the posters who are telling you YABU and clutch for dear life onto the solitary poster who agreed with you.