Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU. I already know what y'all will say but i need an opinion

98 replies

Vacanzaromane · 23/07/2019 13:02

So my partner has a 16 yr teen from a previous marriage living with him. A year ago i bought him ( partner) an guitar for his birthday as he always "dreamed of learning to play it". Long story short, guitar sits in a corner of the lounge, i think he touched it twice, his son (living with him for just under a year) likes to "play " with it and im taken aback by this but ive said nothing. About 2 months ago i saw it wasn't in his usual place but hidden away in a different corner. Upon closer inspection i noted 2 strings had come off. I asked him and he says his son "put it down" and it just came offAngry. 1st, AIBU to be pissed off, and 2nd part of me wants to take it, fix it and learn to play it myself!

OP posts:
DontCallMeShitley · 23/07/2019 14:09

Give him a some pitch pipes so he can tune it and some spare strings. Better it is used than left to collect dust. (And a plectrum or several while you are at it). He might turn out to be talented.

Reminds me, I have one to sell...

cstaff · 23/07/2019 14:10

At least it is getting some use even if not by the intended receptor (is that a real word?)

AcrossthePond55 · 23/07/2019 14:11

It's annoying when a gift you thought would be thrilling isn't really what the recipient wants, but in the long run I'd probably be glad that someone was getting some sort of use out of it and would probably suggest (but not pay for) lessons for his son.

Do you like his son?

girlinabluedressagain · 23/07/2019 14:17

Out of interest, what did you think everyone here would say?

FlyingElbows · 23/07/2019 14:25

Op, what y'all wanna do is have a look at You Tube. I'd bet my ranch that there are thousands of videos which will tell you (as an obvious complete novice) all you need to know about how to look after and play the guitar. Rest assured that there is no need to be taken aback that a) a teenage boy fancies himself as a bit of a Slash, or b) that the strings can be very easily replaced and will need to be so frequently. So yes yabu because you are getting you're chaps in a flap about absolutely nothing.

FlyingElbows · 23/07/2019 14:25

"your" (fucking auto correct)

VladmirsPoutine · 23/07/2019 14:28

Yabu. I can imagine if the three of you ever live together and you catch the son eating some of the pizza you bought you'd hit the roof!

diddl · 23/07/2019 14:30

"likes to "play " with it and im taken aback by this but ive said nothing."

Taken aback that he lets his teenage son have a go?

Now if it was a young kid you might have a point.

But I'd be more pissed off at his own seeming lack ióf interest.

At least his son is using it!

BrokenWing · 23/07/2019 14:31

Why do you need an opinion if you already know the answer?

Lweji · 23/07/2019 14:31

Is the problem that your partner doesn't use it, or that he son does?

Darkcloudsandsunnydays · 23/07/2019 14:32

You could have restrung it yourself in much less time and energy than this thread used.

Then you can play it yourself by learning a few basic chords and practising alongside a few songs available on the net.

I fail to see your anger.

fuckoffwinter · 23/07/2019 14:35

Poor kid. You seem pissed that he exists and treats the house like he lives there. Let him play, maybe even encourage him!

IsoscelesSandwich · 23/07/2019 14:42

Forget the guitar business, what we really need to know OP is, are you American? Because if you’re not this whole AIBU should be about your use of “y’all” and if you’re not American, then you are Very Unreasonable.

MsRinky · 23/07/2019 14:46

I dream of playing the piano. I've had a piano taking up space I don't have to spare in my house for 8 years now and I still don't play the bloody thing. You're upset that the gift isn't treasured and used in the way you hoped it would be, but it's just one of those things - I'm sure your partner meant it when he said he'd love one. Chill out.

Derbee · 23/07/2019 14:46

YABVU. It’s nice that it’s being used by his son. Fix the strings, and don’t be petty about who uses the guitar

TheGrapefulDread · 23/07/2019 15:06

I have a grand piano, luckily not a gift n.b. no broken strings takes a concert style bow - that’s the bit I’ve mastered so far Grin
Your partner should have fixed the strings, you have no control over the gift after you hand to recipient. In this case if the teenager has no money I’d hand over a set of strings and hook them up with a you tube how to restring video, at least they have the decency to utilise it !

Ivestoppedreadingthenews · 23/07/2019 15:09

YABU , totally fine for his teen to play it. They’re family. It would be weird if he was banned from it. Strings break, it’s a non-event...

AryaStarkWolf · 23/07/2019 15:10

Why do you have "play" in inverted commas and why is important to mention the son has only lived with him for just under a year? Seems like you are more annoyed that the son was using it rather than your B/F not using it....... atleast someone is

Also, echo everyone else in here, strings break on guitars all the time when they're used

Daenerys77 · 23/07/2019 15:28

This isn't really about the guitar is it? I think you need to deal with your resentment of your partner's son.

saraclara · 23/07/2019 16:11

I have no idea why you were "taken aback" by his son using it. That's really weird of you, to be honest. Anyone visiting my house would be welcome to play around with my late husband's guitars, never mind people actually living here.
Do you do sharing at all? Are your things not to be touched by anyone else? I'm assuming your partner was perfectly happy with his son using it, so I honestly don't understand why you aren't.

Weebitawks · 23/07/2019 16:20

So weird. If you were a decent person, you'd be happy that maybe you'd found something that your partner's son enjoys

Greeve · 23/07/2019 16:20

So your previously "part time" parent partner become a full time parent a year ago? How are you coping with that change?

Bluntness100 · 23/07/2019 19:41

So your previously "part time" parent partner become a full time parent a year ago? How are you coping with that change?

Not very well it seems. Op, I'm guessing uou don't have kids? And that's why uou struggle to understand why he'd let his son play with it?

Also this guitar is clearly a huge deal to you. You hunting it out, inspecting it, fantasising about taking it back, even being taken aback his son is allowed to play with it.

Are you like this with all gifts? Or is there something about this guitar that's different? Like a special gift or way more than you'd normally spend or something?

lljkk · 23/07/2019 20:19

Guitar strings are easy to replace. Even I can do it. Not a big deal.
You could ask your partner if he wants to get rid of the clutter guitar. That would be reasonable.

SilverySurfer · 23/07/2019 20:26

YABU - so you would rather see it rot, unused in the corner than for his son to play it? Very weird, I would be happy that it was being used.

You need to unclench.

Swipe left for the next trending thread