Babies are worse than toddlers when going out.

[Sianlouise432]

A genuine AIBU because I'm coming from a place of 0% experience with toddlers.

I know I've got the terrible twos to look forward to, however I just think taking a baby out and about is SO ANNOYING.

DS can stay awake for max 1.5 hours before he gets cranky. He fusses and cries. Toddlers have tantrums but you can kind of ignore them.. Babies cry for genuine needs which makes it so difficult cause you HAVE to act.

So AIBU? Babies are worse to take out and about.

I’m going against the grain, but I agree with you! I found it much harder bringing my twins out when they were babies. Mainly because they didn’t sleep and nursed around the clock. I had such a short window to bring them out between feeds (I wasn’t game to bf in public as I would have been practically topless) and with every other person stopping to look at them or try to touch them, I was always in such a stressful rush to get things done.

As toddlers they were more independent and were pretty happy in the pram or walking next to me. It was much easier! I was lucky in that they didn’t have temper tantrums very often and they weren’t runners.

I had no idea what I was in for with the toddler years.. I still get a knot in my stomach with just the memory of it all.
Fucking hell it was so hard. Toddler dd was the most unreasonable little being.
Lovely, calm smiling baby.. she got to about 1.5 and that was it 😳 I thought i would go mad in the end. They were the hardest two years of my life. She's 4.5 now and just lovely. Best prepare op, you may be in for a shock.. I know I was 🤣🤣

I found babies much more bodily contact and totally dependant, but toddlers are just more stressful. Constantly running into danger, falling over, tantrums when you stop them killing themselves... it's hard because they just want total freedom and independence but they are unaware of danger and don't have a clue what they're doing so you're on high alert. I relaxed a bit around 3.5 yrs!

Am I completely on my own in that my baby, only 4 months old, only just discovering that he can grab objects, has such a mood swingy, demanding, '0 to 100 cry-mode' nature? I am fully envious of anyone who had a baby that you can take out in the pram and sit with a cup of coffee with your mates.

My toddler can be a monster but it’s definitely easier than when he was a baby. He never slept in his pram for a start but he does now. Toddlers are also much easier to entertain and actually can be quite fun to go out with.

My DS has just turned 2 and I can honestly say it’s so much harder than when he was a baby. We went to the cafe the other day with my mum and he wouldn’t sit down at all, he ate his breakfast under the table as that was the only place he would sit. He screamed because I wouldn’t let him make his own cup of tea behind the counter (he’s never made a cup of tea in his life, never even helped out making tea, I don’t know where it came from). It’s an absolute nightmare.

Newborn to 6 months I found it pretty hard to get out for any length of time (tricky baby who didn’t nap except in moving pram).

6 months to mobile was very easy, bring the kit, 2 naps to work around, doesn’t move.

Mobile to 2 was relatively easy but couldn’t stay still - so fine as long as there was some contained space to play in or going for a walk in the buggy (no good in cafes!)

2-3.5 fun if going somewhere child focused, absolute nightmare if not.

Ignoring a toddler tantrum - good luck!

I disagree with most of the replies! DD is 3 and easy to take out and about, a dream. As a baby she was awful, fussy, cried so much it would put me on edge. I couldn't eat a thing without her kicking off, now she will happily sit through a meal for a couple of hours

Babies are fab toddlers on the other hand are just something else

I'll give my daughter credit she is very good when we go out and stays by our side and very very rarely tantrums/picks things up in shops, but taking a baby out is much easier, nicely contained in the pram, lighter to carry than a toddler, plus you have bag storage in the pram :-D
Plus baby is in a nappy, trying to find a toilet at short notice for a toddler isn't easy! Have a portable potty but then finding somewhere modest to use it again isn't easy

@minipie I can't wait for him to only need a couple of naps instead of like 4.

@buyitinbamboo yeah you're basically describing my ds there -.-

@Sianlouise432

Am I completely on my own in that my baby, only 4 months old, only just discovering that he can grab objects, has such a mood swingy, demanding, '0 to 100 cry-mode' nature?

No you're not. I have a toddler and a baby. My eldest when she was a baby is exactly like yours. I was exhausted, everyday was a struggle, showering was a struggle and like you, I definitely didn't eat hot food in the baby stage BUT (and big but), the toddlers years are still harder but in a different way. I think I was just tired and depressed having a cranky baby but a toddler is physically and emotionally demanding...there's no downtime except for naps as you're always chasing them, they put you on edge for a tantrum, plus they are a danger to themselves and others as they have no concept of safety.

Both stages were very hard but in different ways. I never used to understand when people said babies are easy, but my second baby is definitely easy (it's a pleasure compared to first time round). So for those who have had an easy baby first time, then experience the toddler stage- it must be a shock. You already have it tough so the toddler stage won't be a shock to the system for you.

OP will he sleep in the pram? I used a snoozeshade when it came to nap time to make it darker/block out distractions, worked really well

I have a baby and a toddler so I feel qualified to comment. Babies are SO much easier to take out. They have literally about 3 needs. If they are hungry, feed them. If they are tired, push them around until they have a nap etc. My toddler is a pain while we are out. He asks for toys I don’t have with me. He doesn’t want to go in the pram but he doesn’t want to walk either. He runs off, he has tantrums about everything. The baby is a breeze to take out compared to him.

Hmmmm... DS at the beach on Friday, after a protracted pre-game loo trip. We’d been there for five minutes, and the beach was all of a 30 second walk from the holiday cottage:

‘ARGH! Do a POOOOOO!’

Cue DH picking him up and sprinting back the cottage... did he make it? Reader, he did not. RIP toddler swimming trunks, we hardly knew you (because I bought the fekking fuckers all of three weeks ago!)

I think it’s just differently hard - although getting a bit more sleep makes everything easier to deal with, to be fair.

I'm so naive. I go out and see older babies happily playing in their pram and minding their business. I see parents happily chasing their toddlers, little ones faces lit up and smiling and laughing whilst they toddle off. I rarely see toddlers throwing tantrums but I often see babies screaming at their parents. Saying that, I also see babies who are bottle fed having a bottle and falling asleep on cue whilst I am battling to keep ds under the large muslin cloth whilst he throws his arm and legs around trying to latch.

This has to be a reverse. Toddlers are a million times worse than babies for so many reasons.

They often won't sleep in the buggy anymore
Too big to strap to you
Don't want to be held
Strangers aren't sympathetic/don't think they're cute anymore
Nightmare with food

So on a basic level, most toddlers are harder work than a baby but I get where you are coming from. My second is 4 months and gets very cranky if she isn’t sleeping in a darkened room in her cot. If she was my first, I’d feel tied to the house. But, she has to crack on really otherwise my 3 year old would never leave the house. Saying that, If my husband and I take one each, sometimes the older one does feel easier as she can be civilised when she wants to be and is more predictable. 70% of the time the baby is easier but when she’s hard, she’s really hard work.

When you hit toddler tantrums and they are lying across the supermarket floor screaming then you’ll understand why everyone is saying they’d rather go out with a baby. For me, so far the hardest age in terms of leaving the house was 18m to 21/2.

The thing is, you don’t know it’s easier until it gets harder! DD is 22 months. No stressing about BFing and vomiting now, but if I want to keep her quiet while I do something non-her centred I’d better have plenty of rice cakes and Peppa on tap. So I’m less likely to go to an art gallery for example. Not impossible, just not worth it (for now) imo.

My eldest had reflux and cried 90% of the time she was awake for the first three months. She refused to nap anywhere but her cot so I was virtually housebound until she started to drop naps at seven months.

Still a piece of piss compared to how she is as a toddler I would take great pleasure in seeing anyone attempt to ignore one of her very public tantrums

@timeforawine I got a snooze shade but he sometimes gets upset if he can't see me lol

You couldn't be more wrong, you can feed a baby and play pass the parcel to keep them asleep, at first they can't even move. Babies can be put in pushchairs and you can get on with your work (my friend is working close to full time completing her PhD with a 2 month old baby, she says it's "easy". Toddlers however move, they sleep less, they touch everything and the scream louder and you still can't reason with them. By 2.5/3 bribery can be introduced, it's a wonderful thing! But between 1 and 2.5 NIGHTMARE!

So toddlers are easier in the sense that it’s clear what they want. It’s not the guessing game it is with a small fretful baby. So if you do want they want, it’s pretty easy. If you do something they don’t like however you will know about it! And the list of things they don’t like is long and includes some pretty necessary things (loo trip, clothes, wiping face etc)... and staying still.

I go out and see older babies happily playing in their pram and minding their business. I see parents happily chasing their toddlers, little ones faces lit up and smiling and laughing whilst they toddle off

ah yes but that is a few seconds of their day, they have likely already had an argument about what they want for breakfast / giving them the "wrong spoon" or the wrong coloured bowl and the never ending "but I want dadddyyyyyyyys" "daddy has THE SAME AS YOU"

they've then had to get them dressed, and either persuaded them to go to the toilet, or tried to change a pull up which is like trying to fit an octopus in a straight jacket. then probably re dressed when they've got naked in the 30 seconds you went to get their shoes.

then theyve had to persuade them that no, you cant wear wellies/jelly shoes / mummys slippers to the park.

they've probably whinged all the way to the park in the car, tried to get out of the car seat and almost split their head open getting out of the car because "I do it myself mummy" (clearly ds you cannot)

then you see the nice 30 seconds where everyone is happy because the toddler is getting what they want and the parents can let them do pretty much what they want without fear of accident/injury/death

and then they probably go home with a screaming toddler who didn't want to leave, who will then inevitably fall asleep around 4.30pm and stay up all night