To elect for caesarian at a hospital further away rather than natural birth close by

[commuters30]

I'm really anxious generally about this whole pregnancy thing and thinking of going to a well known private hospital further away for an elected caesarian rather than natural birth at the local hospital.

A planned C-section just sounds so much less complex and painful and less drawn out, and also I just hear of horrors (and some good stuff) about labour wards locally and to be honest elsewhere too. This is assuming if it's planned, we can drive there beforehand and then drive back after a few days so no surprises.

Am I being completely unreasonable to have this preference and have I got the completely wrong end of the stick?

I think you need to chat to a doctor. A c-section is major surgery, it's really limiting. There can be complications, difficulties healing etc - it's not an "easy" option or guaranteed to be free of surprises. It is not always straightforward at all, the resulting scarring etc can be bad. Also you cannot drive for 4-6 weeks afterwards which can be difficult.

You need to talk to a doctor and get a really informed view.

Your birth, your choice! Ive never had a c section so i cant offer any advice for it. I chose a midwife led unit for all 3 of mine. So there is another avenue to look into.

I would suggest that you do your own research initially at least before talking to a doctor. Normally I would be a big advocate of seeking expert advice for medical issues, but in my experience many health practitioners have an agenda when it comes to C-sections and lots of them will push you towards a natural birth through using some pretty biased information.

Obviously make sure you are looking at credible, objective sources for information, but generally speaking there is no "safest" or "best" method of delivery and you do have to delve quite deeply to understand the risks associated with either option. Go with the type of birth with the risk profile that you find most palatable.

Definitely speak to a professional to enable you to make an informed decision. I’ve had 2 sections (one emergency and one planned) and they are not easy to recover from. It’s major surgery and there can be complications - I’m still getting some issues from my planned section 8 years on. It can also be difficult to look after a newborn after having surgery. You might want to think about what would happen if you went into labour early (my planned section could only be done on or after my due date).

Vaginal births also can have complications, and every birth is different. You can only inform yourself and make a decision based on that.

Your body, your choice.

I agree with the pp who said that there are risks either way (and I don’t think most people are adequately warned of the risks of vaginal birth) so it’s up to you to choose what’s most palatable.

I had to choose between an induction and a c-section, and I ended up choose the section because if I was going for a vaginal birth I didn’t want the added monitoring that comes with an induction, or the increased risk of interventions. If I had had the option of going into labour naturally, I think I would have gone with that.

C-section recovery can be harder, but tbh I was walking within 6 hours and have no lasting issues, whereas I have friends who are still suffering with incontinence/prolapse/stitches not healing right after vaginal birth over a year later so it’s a bit of a roll of the dice either way

Your choice. I had three vaginal births and only one of them went right. The other two were absolutely traumatic. I chose to have an ELCS with DC4 and it was the best and most positive birthing experience to date. I was in pain for a week afterwards, it was impossible to get out of bed or even onto the toilet alone. My DH had to help me a lot and I was taking lots of painkillers. That was the literal only downside (plus not driving for six weeks), my recovery was absolutely fine.

you do you!!!
do your research and make your decision and dont let anyone tell you what to do... its your body, your birth and your decision
i had one emergency and one planned, emergency was rushed and very scary for me and the planned was calm and all the doctors and nursing and midwives were all laughing and joking with us and it was, i wont say pleasant, but it went well and both of us were safe and healthy, rather than the "oh shit " of the emergency

I'm having an elective c section on the NHS; you don't necessarily have to go private. Mine is predominantly for mental health reasons and I can't fault the care I've had on the NHS.

I'll be going for planned C section too because I want to keep my ahem as it is.

Do lots of research and speak to a midwife at your hospital.

I had 3 natural deliveries and a section with number 4. It was awful, and the recovery is so much harder than even my easiest natural delivery.

That said, I really do understand the attraction of a private hospital. A friend delivered at the Portland and it was astounding!!!

I’ve had four c sections and think that on the whole the recovery is much more predictable and easy to plan around.

Considering your anxiety, as long as you can afford it, absolutely do what is best for you at the hospital that is right for you. Do bear in mind that if there are any complications that you will want to be close enough to an NHS hospital for emergency care (that’s my only concern from a neonatal point of view of private c sections).

I hope all goes well.

I would want to know if the private hospital has neonatal intensive care facilities - babies can become unwell unexpectedly even with an elective section. And the same for mum as well - could they provide HDU/ ICU for you if needed?

I had an NHS elective c section at 39 weeks as could see DS was going to be a big baby. There was no great debate, the consultant agreed, probably also due to my age.

I was swayed by research that showed more female obstetricians choose c section than vaginal birth fir themselves based on risks.

I had a c-section 2 and a half weeks ago. Operated on for over 3 hours, in and out of consciousness, baby got stuck, couldn't stop the bleeding, caught sepsis and had to have my insides washed out!
Recovery has been a nightmare since leaving the high dependency unit. The pain is still awful and I'm limited with everything I can do. My wound has also started to open up and now infected.
I had 3 uneventful vaginal deliveries before this, 2 of which were inductions, 1 premie so for me I cant understand why anyone would choose major surgery unless there was a medical reason.
However, a friend of mine did have an awful vaginal delivery.
I suggest if you are thinking about c-section because of possible complications of vaginal birth you should also look carefully into complications of c-sections.

Honestly, there's no way of knowing what the best birth option is for you. I had a c-section as I had a large baby and I'm glad I did, but I would try for a natural birth next time if possible because I feel having a c-section contributed to my subsequent PND (difficulty breastfeeding, lack of hormone "rush", harder bonding)

I wouldn't take a C-section lightly. I had a natural birth and found it wonderful - I was so scared beforehand but when it came to it it was really fine - I'd go as far as to say that I enjoyed my experience.

Friends of mine who have had c-sections have had a horrific time recovering. Long drawn out and painful. Please make sure you're fully informed about both options because it's really not that the C-section is the easier choice

You can't drive mere days after a section?

I know it used to be 6 weeks but not sure if that has changed?

I had 4 sections over 10 years. I had a problem with the last two due to scar tissue adhering everything together so it was hard to get the last two babies out and hard to put me back together. However, nothing bad happened. The surgery was longer but it went well and I recovered with no complications. Whereas I have friends who have had ill managed natural births and have no end of problems.

I was told at one point that sections were a bad idea if you want a large family so maybe think about that? The more you have the more you risk.

Sorry, I read your first post as if you were doing the driving OP!

I just don't understand why someone would choose to be cut open 🤦🏻‍♀️ It petrifies me!

2 natural births from second sweep. Declined stitches as heard they were worse than giving birth. Healed quicker than my friends who had them. But every birth is different, I was lucky mine were straight forward and healed really fast. I'd always chose natural, that's the way we are designed. Just do your exercises so you have muscles prepared for it.

P.s. Both ways suck but totally worth it!!

Hmm I have had 2 CS. First one after an induction and my second a planned one.
I think other people's opinions are not really valuable when it comes to childbirth as the spectrum is so broad for it all. Having a section isnt really the easy way out as some put it. It's genuinely major surgery, they cut through muscle etc. You won't be able to do much with your baby when it's born cause of the spinal. Which for me I found extremely difficult for my first child as I felt useless which didn't help my brain recovery. The body recovery takes ages, like your scar might be healed but inside takes ages. There are pros and cons to both. There are small chances of them cutting the baby, maternal death etc but as others said do research and see how you feel. You might be just feeling out of control. If you dig up about pain relief, hypnobirth techniques, interventions etc till your so informed that you know what you want. The best birth is a uncomplicated vaginal birth. Not everyone gets that or wants that. Some women feel they missed out by not doing it a certain way. I suppose what I'm getting at is hindsight is always a funny thing so if you opt for the surgery make sure your prepared for the future such as risk of scar rupture, weak uterus etc.

I had one eight months ago and advice was still not to drive for six weeks. I did drive after four and all was ok, I probably shouldn’t have but run out of people to take DC to school and back (3 mile round trip so walking wasn’t an option).

The wound opening and becoming infected can happen if you need an episiotomy, it happened to me after my first vaginal birth. I wouldn’t let that put you off, my wound healed absolutely fine.

Also bonded better with DC4 after the calm ELCS as opposed to the emergency forceps delivery with DC1, had PND and struggled with BFIng after that but not the CS.

What about trying for a vaginal delivery at the private hospital?