To elect for caesarian at a hospital further away rather than natural birth close by

[commuters30]

I'm really anxious generally about this whole pregnancy thing and thinking of going to a well known private hospital further away for an elected caesarian rather than natural birth at the local hospital.

A planned C-section just sounds so much less complex and painful and less drawn out, and also I just hear of horrors (and some good stuff) about labour wards locally and to be honest elsewhere too. This is assuming if it's planned, we can drive there beforehand and then drive back after a few days so no surprises.

Am I being completely unreasonable to have this preference and have I got the completely wrong end of the stick?

I’ve had 2 natural births, no c-sections, but several friends who have had them.some of the issues they’ve had:-

• friend remembers very little of the first two weeks with baby as she was on so many pain meds

• one said it was a dream, and she’s do it again over a natural birth

• one friend her stitches burst open at home, blue lighted back to hospital, major infection, leading to sepsis, in intensive care, and home 4/5 weeks later

• one still cry’s very summer over how her stomach looks as she has this like hanging stomach over her scar that no amount of exercise will shift

• her c-section was an emergency, and they also lost both mum and baby. Thankfully due to an amazing surgical team they both come through, but mum was kept in for 2 weeks.

• one friend couldn’t stand upright to carry the baby for almost 8 weeks. There were concerns that something serious had happened maybe during the epidural, but they then put it down to just one of those things. But it meant she couldn’t carry the baby, and after her dp went back to work, had to have support the whole time. So her little one was two months old, before she spent even an hour alone with her. 11 years on, she still has problems with her back and now fully says it was the epidural. But 🤷🏻‍♀️ Who knows.

• one friend was rushed in for an emergency c-section, the next thing she remember is opening her eyes in intensive care, a week later- she had sepsis. This was before I knew her though.

But then I have friend who’ve had it, that are not even on my radar because it went perfectly for them, they had no problems and it is the horror stories that you remember.

For me two births, both under three hours, and walking about 30 minutes after I’d delivered the placenta. Give me that over major abdominal surgery any day.

I would never chose a c section over a natural birth.

That is what is putting me off having a second child is that i have to have a c section if i have any more

If your reason is that the labour ward is not known to have a good reputation, why don't you choose to give birth at another NHS hospital? In my area I had a choice of 4 hospitals and possibly could have gone even further afield if I'd wanted- maybe others can help on that point.

If you really prefer a caesarian, are you aware you have the right to choose a caesarian on the NHS? I requested one on 'maternal request' only. It can take a while to get agreed but NICE guidelines mean they can't actually refuse point blank. It seems like a very expensive option to go private- it costs thousands.

Investigate your options a bit more. I loved my caesarian and believe it can be a great choice, but it's not necessarily the right choice for everyone. There are big pros and cons to both types of birth.

OP I have had both. I had an EMCS with my first and a vaginal delivery with my second.
I would go for the vaginal delivery over the section every time. I think you should have a proper talk with a professional and do some research. A section is not easy. Its major abdominal surgery and I think people seem to forget that. There is a 6 week recovery time. You'll be in pain every time you laugh or cough or sneeze. I had to sleep propped up for a week. The pain from trapped wind after a section is awful.
Please don't assume a section is 'easier'.

You're allowed to give birth wherever you want. Just be aware that planned c sections sometimes get postponed because of emergencies.

You'll have to push for a c-section - chat with your midwife.

Everyone will give you their horror stories about birth.
I had a vaginal birth and honestly it wasn't bad, but only you know what's right for you.

Congratulations

@Buddyelf
You'll be in pain every time you laugh or cough or sneeze. I had to sleep propped up for a week. The pain from trapped wind after a section is awful
I have had two c-sections and literally none of this happened to me. There are no guarantees this will happen to OP either. As I stated upthread, the actual overall level of risk associated with both methods of birth are pretty similar so it comes down to what risks OP is happier to take. There will always be winners and losers and there will be some lucky people that have dream births and recoveries whilst there will also be some very unlucky people that suffer some absolutely horrific experiences. The problem is it is usually almost impossible to say with any real certainty which group you will be in and what kind of birth would have the better outcome.

I have had 4 sections, none by choice.

First was emergency, second DS1 was planned as he was so big they were concerned the scar would rupture. Following two were also planned after that.

I would not recommend it. I have a tummy that will never ever be flat as they cut through the muscles 4 times. I cannot feel some parts near the scar.

On the whole, natural births are so much quicker to recover from.

the actual overall level of risk associated with both methods of birth are pretty similar so it comes down to what risks OP is happier to take

I totally agree with this.

In fact everything bumpitybumper said was spot on. I don’t think either a natural birth or a section can be said to be inherently easier than the other. They come with different risks and you have to decide which you’re more comfortable taking. Bear in mind the risks of vaginal birth seem to be massively downplayed by the NHS. Yes, having a section is a big deal and not easy, but pushing a baby out of your vagina is also a big deal and not easy.

In answer to your specific question, assuming you can afford it YANBU.

@Bumpitybumper really? You had 2 sections and had no pain in your incision when you laughed or sneezed?

I forgot to say, you may not have to go to labour ward. I didnt with either of mine, I had a shower and some food and they sent me off home, Meant I actually got some sleep!

Good point, that if you are anxious about labour ward, what about a birth centre or a home birth?

My ndn drove 3 days after an emergency section. She told. Her insurance company and they said if she felt fit to drive she could. Although I thought she was mad
My mum had a rough time with her section and took ages to recover. That was 15 yrs ago
A friend had an emergency one last. Week. Saw her yesterday and my god She looked amazing was tidying up and all sorts.

Each person is different. I'm in 2 minds atm about one due to my experience with dd but 8 can't decide

I had an emergency C section and recovered really well, although I know that isn't the case for everyone. It barely hurt afterwards, I was walking within hours, and the gas/internal pains went away after a day or two. Compared to the excruciating labour pains, which I had for 24 hours prior to the section, it was easier.

Having said that, I'll go for a vbac next time if I can. The emotional toll of the c section wasn't much fun. It took a long time to get over the feeling of just being handed a baby and feeling like an inactive participant in the whole thing. It didn't feel like my baby for a while.

@Buddyelf
really? You had 2 sections and had no pain in your incision when you laughed or sneezed?
Honestly I didn't and in fact I found the whole experience pretty pain free. I accept that this isn't everybody's experience though and I know that I was just lucky in this regard, in the same way that I was lucky to not get infections etc. It comes back to what I was saying about risk and how some people will be blessed with a relatively easy ride whilst others will struggle a lot more. I can honestly say though that I would have found any issue or complication easier to deal with knowing that I had made an informed decision and wasn't swayed by medical professionals that were seemingly more interested in managing their stats and working towards targets than providing me with unbiased information.

I've had both and I found my 2 c-sections were neither less painful or more predictable. It's completely up to you but you need to weigh up your options very carefully.

It's honestly impossible to know which one will be best for you because it's impossible to know how either will go.

You could have a horrendous natural birth, you could have a horrendous C-section. Equally, you could have an absolute dream of an experience with either.

So do what would make you most comfortable now. And if your decision doesn't go as planned then there's no point beating yourself up about it, because there's no guarantee the other option would have been any easier.

Hi everyone, thank you... I didn't know I'd get so many responses here and with all your personal experiences.

To add to my dilemma... it's because I'm mid 30s (so not young) and so I expect more complications and difficulties with a natural birth. Also naturally very afraid of needles, hospitals, even blood tests...

Didn't know caesarian can get so painful too, only just discovered you need an epidural which sounds really really painful!!!

Also if planned caesarian, I thought maybe if it's done at the local hospital, it'd be on a busy ward where it can get even more stressful...

My ward post-birth only had two beds to a ward - you can visit your hospital as part of ante-natal classes and get a tour of the ward so you'll have more of an idea what to expect

Tbh OP you need to speak to a healthcare professional. A section isn't something you should take lightly. Btw if you're scared of needles you need to know that you'll need a cannula in your hand during the section.
I had serious complications from my section resulting in further surgery days after having DC. It's no walk in the park. It was much more painful that i thought partly due to the complications. My consultant told me they prefer to avoid sections as if they go wrong they are harder to fix.
If you do prefer it then go for it but make sure you know what it is you're choosing.

I did exactly this- private ELCS in London rather than the local hospital. Absolutely do not regret my choice and would do the same again for a 2nd if I was still in the U.K. I never felt in pain, it was definitely sore but never painful. It was expensive but for me it was worth it; all ante natal appointments with my consultant so I knew him really well before, I got to choose the date for my section, a comfortable stay for 3 nights in a big private room, 1:1 midwife care post op so lots of help with feeding, they would take the baby out if I wanted to get some sleep, an extra bed for DH, good food. And OP it’s usually a spinal block not an epidural for an ELCS, they numb it first so I felt nothing. You can usually do a private consultation with the consultant first to decide what you want to do and the cost is included in the package if you go ahead, if you don’t then it’s typically about £500.

It’s so difficult OP. I was in the position of making this choice a week ago. I’ve chosen to go for a natural birth. I haven’t given birth yet so I don’t know whether I’ve made the ‘right’ decision! What I do know is that in my head I thought a CS would be an easier option, but when I actually started looking into what happens during the procedure, I realised it’s far from an easy way out.

As other posters have said, it’s so difficult because there’s no way of telling how either option will work out FOR YOU. Other people’s experiences are helpful in some ways but not in others because they have very little bearing on what’s going to happen to you.

Do lots and lots of research. I agree with others that the information given to us by the NHS is really biased. On the in an ideal world I think women would be given information on the risks of both options and should be allowed to choose. The risks associated with the two options are actually broadly equivalent in numerical terms but they’re different risks, if that makes sense.

Be a bit careful with private healthcare. Personally if I were paying I’d go for the private wing of an NHS hospital - like the Lindo - then the experts and the facilities are there if you need them. Also, remember that you can ask for a section on the NHS.

Best of luck.

I had an EMCS after baby was in distress. I had been so against a section and determined to give birth vaginally but actually now I'm quite glad I had one in the end. I guess maybe I was lucky with recovery, but I was up and about within six hours, out shopping etc within a couple of days, and never needed more than paracetamol/ibuprofen. Compared to my poor friend who suffered a third degree tear and is still suffering from incontinence a couple of years on, I feel very lucky to have avoided damage down there.

However I could have ended up having a perfectly straightforward vaginal birth with no tearing, which would have been even easier than the section to recover from. It's all a gamble, really.

In the interest of giving all the facts you could need more than an epidural OP. I had an epidural but there were parts of my abdomen that didn’t go numb and I ended up needing a spinal block which totally numbed me from the chest down (bar my arms).
I’m not saying these things to frighten you but I don’t want you to go into this thinking they are simple and easy procedures.

Also if planned caesarian, I thought maybe if it's done at the local hospital, it'd be on a busy ward where it can get even more stressful...

Do go and look at your local hospital before making a decision (ours runs monthly tours). You can pay for private recovery rooms at our hospital, and they have relatively small wards (four beds I think) if you choose not to pay.

Sorry, not trying to talk you out of it, but knowledge is power and all that - just explore all your options thoroughly before making a decision

is it Portland? Go for it. I dont think you can ask for a c-sect unless its private anyway.