To elect for caesarian at a hospital further away rather than natural birth close by

[commuters30]

I'm really anxious generally about this whole pregnancy thing and thinking of going to a well known private hospital further away for an elected caesarian rather than natural birth at the local hospital.

A planned C-section just sounds so much less complex and painful and less drawn out, and also I just hear of horrors (and some good stuff) about labour wards locally and to be honest elsewhere too. This is assuming if it's planned, we can drive there beforehand and then drive back after a few days so no surprises.

Am I being completely unreasonable to have this preference and have I got the completely wrong end of the stick?

@NCforthis2019 Portland isn't next to an NHS (and lots of people advised against this) so thinking Kensington Wing. I have no idea to be honest. So confused about literally all of it so this kind of thread is so helpful (even if it just means lots and lots of facts and real life experiences from people in the know!)

I've had 2 emergency sections with really easy recoveries so c-section recoveries are I would say pretty varied. I was pushing dc2 in the pram on the 3 mile round trip to preschool by week 2 in zero pain. I still have all the painkillers I was discharged with. There are horror stories but then there are vaginal births too. It's whatever you find easier to cope with I suppose. However despite how easily I bounced back, I don't think I'd ever recommend it to anyone else as a first port of call because you just don't know.

Dc2 was meant to be an elective because dc1 got stuck in my sub optimal pelvis. I still ended up with a 3am dash to hospital...not sure how that works with a private hospital? I think most first babies tend to come later than earlier but I went into spontaneous labour with dc1 at 38 +4 and then 39 weeks exactly with dc2.

I would investigate what happens in the private hospital in the small chance of a serious complication. Do any NHS hospitals nearby have a private wing?

I had a private c section in a private wing of an NHS hospital and it was reassuring knowing that in the small chance that baby or I was very sick, they had NHS ITU and NICU/ SCBU on site. I would not want to have needed emergency transfer in an ambulance, and I also wouldn't have wanted a bill for a private ITU!

If I have another baby I'll have an ELCS 100% (NHS, No way can we afford private.) I had a semi elective section with my DS (in that it wasn't an emergency, but he wasn't going to come in the world any other way, he was back to back, stuck at an odd angle and large.) I got myself discharged at 24 hours, had proper pain killers to take home (dyhydracodeine) and was up and about (albeit slowly) at a church event four days later. No issues with anything. I was extremely fortunate.

The pain from trapped wind after a section is awful.

I could just as easily say no actually it isn't, it's non-existent. Please don't universalise your experience. I accept that you got trapped wind, but it isn't a given.

OP usually the hierarchy of recovery, in ascending order of difficulty, goes straightforward and reasonably quick VB, ELCS, EMCS performed before shit hits the fan, then opinion differs as to which is worst out of EMCS and very complex, long VB (and some lucky women get both of those combined). Difficulty is you don't get to choose the straightforward easy VB! Especially as a first timer.

ELCS and attempted VB both come with their own set of risks and benefits and they don't all apply equally to everyone. RCOG has some good material on this. You assess which risks are more applicable to you, which is a question of fact, and which are more acceptable to you, which is a question of opinion. Consider your age, weight, health in pregnancy, future childbearing plans: these are all relevant.

I was around your age when I had DD, and recovered very quickly from a vaginal birth. I was induced but needed no other interventions and had very little pain or problems after. I hate the thought of having surgery, and I dislike hospital environments, so I'd go for a vaginal birth every time.

It's the luck of the draw, I know, but I found giving birth much easier and less scary than I thought it would be. Pregnancy sucked, and the fourth trimester was terrible, but labour was all right. I'd almost say a kinda cool experience. Yes, it really, seriously hurts, but your body just drags you through and there is a clear end goal. In any case, the most important and best thing you can do for yourself is a) surround yourself with the right people and create an environment in which YOU feel comfortable and safe and b) inform yourself as best you can in advance so that you know what you can expect and feel capable of making decisions that are right for you and your baby.

Good luck!

I had trapped wind after my section but it wasn't painful, I just needed to fart a lot

NO, you are not unreasonable. If I wanted to have a child I'd do the same as you. Good luck, and never ever accept any crap from anyone about your choice. It's your right to make it easier for you, and you are right to do it.

Trapped wind is normal after a c-section but the advice is to drink lots of peppermint tea and it does work. The first week after my CS was hard, I can’t lie. My DH had to physically lift me out of bed and onto and off the toilet. I basically lived upstairs because walking up and downstairs was too much effort. It was seven days of my life though then I felt pretty much normal again, I was fine. No drama afterwards in terms of recovery either. Your stitches can burst after a vaginal delivery, I had an extended episiotomy after DC1 and they split and became infected.

Vaginal deliveries can be straight forward but they can also go very wrong. I also wanted to add that emergency c-sections are totally different to elective ones. Generally during an emergency one the cervix will already be dilated so it can be more complicated and recovery can be tougher. Elective ones are generally quite straight forward.

I dont think you can ask for a c-sect unless its private anyway.

Not true, you can definitely request a NHS one. They make you jump through lots of hoops but they have to give you one in the end if you’re adamant.

I’ve had three babies and the third, an elected c-section was the worst.

I was fasting from midnight but was last on the list so didn’t have the section until next day 4pm. The anaesthetic didn’t work properly and halfway through I was in terrible pain so had to be topped up which led to me drifting in and out of consciousness while my baby was being born. All the additional anaesthetic and gas and air meant I felt awful for days. I couldn’t go home for 3 days and was stuck on a noisy and hot ward for the whole time and then I was back in hospital three days later for another 3 days with a severe infection which they thought was sepsis! So NO a c-section is not automatically easier and less drawn out.

First baby - in labour for 6 hours, no pain relief and I went home 12 hours after birth feeling on top of the world!

Please don't universalise your experience. I accept that you got trapped wind, but it isn't a given.

I wasn’t universalising anything I was just giving my experience and I think the OP should know that these things can happen. I had a tough experience, my labour was traumatic ending in an emergency section and a long recovery and I get really fed up with people saying they want c-sections just because they think labour will be too hard.

I'm amazed that you want a a-section given your last update. A C-section is major surgery. You are guaranteeing a lot of medical involvement.
A natural birth may well not go to plan. But it might. I dont think your age is going to make any difference.

FWIW I had a ventouse delivery with an episiotomy. I was very happy with how things went it didnt hurt that much and the intervention was minimal. I didnt need an epidural.

Have you tried hypnobirthing? Tou sound very very afraid of pain which is understandable but the calmer you can be the easier it tends to be. And the more informed you are the more likely you are to be calm.

How far along are you OP? Have you been to any antenatal classes or done much reading about the birth process OP (both VB and ELCS?). I don’t think you’ll necessarily have complications because of your age - of course it’s possible but not a given.

I felt much less stressed about the idea of giving birth when we’d done some classes (NCT) and read some books that explained what happens to your body, who will be in the room, pain relief options for both eventualities, etc. For the record I ended up having an EMCS as did was breech and arrived 6 weeks early but I had learned a lot about csections and was prepared for that to be an option.

It’s totally fine for you to make whichever choice you want if it’s an informed one, but I’d do a bit more research than just ‘I’ve heard labour wards can be horrible’.

Also, how much further away is the private hospital than your local one? Bear in mind if your little one needs extra help or some time in the neonatal ward, you’ll be further away from family support.

Good luck whatever you decide x

Having had both a CS and then a VBAC, I found recovery to be much worse with the CS and would personally not ever choose it unless for medical reasons. But talk to a doctor.

Telling OP that she will be in pain while coughing or sneezing afterwards, evidently because you were, is universalising your experience. If you just say it can happen, that's fine. FWIW I had a Cat 1 EMCS and a haemmhorage, and still found the whole thing far preferable to my VB. If I had another child, I'd want a section because I found labour was too bloody hard. It's a valid perspective. Also worth pointing out that EMCS is a risk of attempting VB, not of ELCS.

Statistically gotmypuppy, age does make a difference. Past the late teens, on a population level, the older you are the less likely you are to have a straightforward VB. OP will need to have a look at the data and decide which risks she feels most comfortable with.

@HorridHenrysNits true but given most people dont have babies in their late teens her experience is unlikely to be different to most birth annually because of her age IYSWIM.

I had a very smooth c section except I lost quite a bit of blood and my colostrum didn't come in... Had a rocky start with BF but persevered and it ended up great. Recovery has been fine, I didnt have trouble sitting up. A close friend and my sister both had traumatic vaginal births which have had far lasting affects. I don't drive so that didn't affect me but I was out for small walks on day 6 and went to baby cinema when he was 2 weeks old.

Very personal decision, you can find someone with a good and bad experience of everything

It's a continuum. You've a lower chance of a straightforward VB at 35 than at 30, and a lower one at 30 than 25, all else being equal. Key is to decide how you feel about that, and balance up the risks and benefits. So eg if OP wants more kids, she might decide the greater risk of tearing and instrumentals as a 35 year old is preferable to increased risk of future pregnancy loss due to CS. Or if she only wants one, impact on future fertility isn't relevant.

But equally, age is only one factor and this is a population level not a crystal ball. Which is how I ended up with an EMCS as a low risk 2nd time mother with a previous VB behind me!

Why not agree that if you go in to labour naturally you will go for a natural birth but if it comes to the induction stage you will go straight to having a c section? That way you are keeping your options open. If it's a first baby chances are you will be overdue & get the section you want. I had an emcs, was poorly afterwards due to pre eclampsia & HELLP syndrome but within a week I was home, up & about, I drove after about 2 weeks, I figured if I was well enough to walk up & down stairs, lug the pram in & out the house, I could drive, I was ok. I was a bit sore for about a week but was off painkillers by about 14 days after the section.

I had a c section due to breach baby but had previously had it agreed as an elective anyway even if the baby turned

At the time I loved it - quick relatively painless home after 2 nights and was up and about with a couple of days

BUT.......my c section caused scarring and build up of scar tissue resulting in 2 ectopics within 18 months and removal of both tubes - I'm now permanently infertile - if I could go back in time and had the choice and baby hadn't been breach I wouldn't choose a c section

I was always having a c-section due to Major placenta praevia but I ended up having an emergency c-section far earlier than expected (because of said issue) Carried out by NHS. The worst part was the recovery (mainly because I couldn’t move and my baby was taken to neonatal because he was premature and very very poorly but that’s a whole other story!) which only lasted a couple of hours. Otherwise it was fine. I forced myself up after a few hours and got better really quickly. No lasting issues, scar barely noticeable, driving in a few weeks (albeit automatic). Moving made all the difference.

But everyone’s experiences are different and it is still major surgery which can have complications. And my baby’s lungs were stuck together as he wasn’t squeezed out of the birth canal (which helps expel the fluid) which didn’t help his situation to be honest as he was already very under developed. So just consider it carefully.

I am massively afraid needles, a C-section was my worst nightmare, as I did not want an epidural.
I managed to go through 2 labours with no needles, I had just gas and air for both.
My second labour was worse than my first, but that was because I was induced and my labour was 2 hours instead of 13, as it was with my first.

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted I'm so sorry to read that, that just be really hard for you.

Childbirth - whatever way it happens - can be life altering and its important we remember that .

I have had 2 natural births and an elective section as baby was breech plus I had other complications in the pregnancy that meant natural delivery was dangerous. He was delivered 6 days ago but the recovery from the c section has been much harder than from the natural birth. My 2nd child’s natural birth did leave me needing quite a lot of stitches but the recovery was still better. Do your research as a c section is major surgery. Dh has to stay with me for hours afterwards as I couldn’t lift the baby and is still having to do most things around the house. If I move to much I end up in agony even with lots of painkillers. I can’t do day to day cleaning and dh has to take the baby up and down the stairs etc.