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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My neighbour threatening me

88 replies

MissMalone99 · 22/07/2019 09:47

I’ve not been in my new house wrong but it’s a long row of tersest houses. My neighbours have all warned me about the neighbour on my left, she’s apparently the reason the last residents left and is very violent. We’ve not had any troubles, she’s come over to introduce herself to me and was more than lovely. She has 3 young children and they’ve played with my DS. Recently she cut some ivy and some overgrowth down from her garden and it caused my fence to collapse and there to be gaps in the other fences where my dog can get through to hers. She pushed all her rubbish into my garden after cutting the ivy etc down. I said nothing of it, found somewhere to put it and fixed the fence and the gaps myself. She came outside as I was fixing the fence and when I asked her if it was okay she sarcastically said ‘well I don’t want your dog in my garden’. Which is all well and good, but he never gets over there it’s only because of her that he has. But I let it go. I woke up this morning to my door bell ringing repeatedly, ran downstairs thinking maybe it was my mum and something had happened but my neighbour was stood at the door, jumping up and down with anger. I asked her she was okay and she asked me if I’d been in her garden, I said I’ve leant over to pick up my fence and grab my dog but I haven’t been in the garden. She then told me I’ve took stuff from her garden and I said this wasn’t the case, did anything get mixed up in with the ivy that she pushed over, and told her where the ivy was if she wanted to look through it. She then told me ‘catch me in my garden again I dare you’. I shut the door in her face, because I don’t want to be threatened. I can now hear her stomping around her house and shouting at the top of her voice. All of of our conversation happened with me remaining calm and her shouting and getting irate. So where do I go from here? I fully believe if she saw me now leaving the house (which it is very easy to) then she would try to attack me, but I have work at 11 so I have to leave soon. What do I do?

OP posts:
IsobelRae23 · 22/07/2019 16:09

Now you know why the previous owners didn’t make many complaints- they knew it would affect the sale of their home. Leaving you in the same position.

MissMalone99 · 22/07/2019 16:24

@ItsAllGoingToBeFine the fence was the previous owners fence, I’ve recently moved in and have been working on getting the inside nice for me and DS. The side with the bad fence is out the back, but our house is back to front garden wise, so our back garden is tiny and our front garden is huge. We only really use our front garden, so haven’t got around to sorting out the back fence now. The dog only got over this once, they’ve never had an issue with him and he got over because when they pulled the ivy down they pulled down branches too and that pulled the fence down.

OP posts:
MissMalone99 · 22/07/2019 16:25

@makingmammaries we have a beagle, so he’s not very intimidating, our cats more intimidating than him. What sort of breed would you recommend?

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 22/07/2019 16:41

She's trouble obviously. I live on a rough council estate, i know her sort.

They don't tend to mess with someone who reacts by making a diary and going to the housing, phone the police etc.

Don't escalate this in your head. I think your past is helping to do that.

To do list,
Sort the fence out,
Install cameras,
Shut down their bullshit and have visitors do the same,
Ignore when possible,
Report.

Harassing visitors breaks their tenancy agreement. That's without dumping the rubbish in your garden.

Don't accept that behaviour again.

Don't give them power over you. It's your own head that does that.

gingerbreadsprinkle · 22/07/2019 16:50

What sort of breed would you recommend?

I would recommend a German Shepherd or Doberman mix. They are usually good guard dogs.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/07/2019 22:26

But you don't really want to get a second dog just to dissuade a CF batshit neighbour - if you get an adult of a breed like this, your beagle might not like it. If you get a puppy it'll be a year or so before it even starts to look threatening.

And it's the wrong reason for getting a dog.

MissMalone99 · 24/07/2019 19:08

I was just asking what they’d recommend, I don’t think I’d cope with more pets @SchadenfreudePersonified

OP posts:
MaverlousMo · 24/07/2019 19:37

OP get a cctv installed

Also record any interaction with them.
They sound like a pair of bullies

tigerlily111 · 24/07/2019 20:40

But it is the OP's fault! She is the one in the wrong!
It is her job to fence her dog in , and make sure her fence is up to the job. She failed to do that.
Have you considered maybe one of her Dc is terrified of dogs and now too afraid to use the garden? Mine would have been and I would have been furious to find your dog in my garden where my young children play.

MissMalone99 · 24/07/2019 21:55

I’ve said the dog got in the garden as her cutting down the ivy and a branch caused the fence to fall. He wasn’t running around the garden and no one was in there, he has never got in before and not since. He literally got in for a second before I pulled him back out. If that was her issue then that’s fine, her issue was that I apparently stole something from her garden.

OP posts:
MissMalone99 · 24/07/2019 21:56

And as I have said, I’ve literally just moved in. We’ve had no issues with the fence, it was very stable. But the weight of the ivy and the branch caused it to go loose. If I had known it was in bad shape I would’ve got a new fence, as I am now that I know it isn’t up to the job. Our new fence has been put up now. Regardless of if I was in the wrong, I still don’t think you can condone threats and abuse @tigerlily111

OP posts:
MissMalone99 · 24/07/2019 21:56

Her DC also aren’t scared of dogs, they’ve played with mine in my garden

OP posts:
SavingSpaces2019 · 25/07/2019 00:22

I’ve literally just moved in. We’ve had no issues with the fence, it was very stable. But the weight of the ivy and the branch caused it to go loose
So it was her Ivy that damaged your fence.
How thoughtful of her to use your dog to deflect from the real issue.....

Once you've put up your new fence, i'd make sure she knows she's not allowed to attach her Ivy or anything else to your fence - unless she wants to pay half towards it?

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