My neighbour threatening me

[MissMalone99]

I’ve not been in my new house wrong but it’s a long row of tersest houses. My neighbours have all warned me about the neighbour on my left, she’s apparently the reason the last residents left and is very violent. We’ve not had any troubles, she’s come over to introduce herself to me and was more than lovely. She has 3 young children and they’ve played with my DS. Recently she cut some ivy and some overgrowth down from her garden and it caused my fence to collapse and there to be gaps in the other fences where my dog can get through to hers. She pushed all her rubbish into my garden after cutting the ivy etc down. I said nothing of it, found somewhere to put it and fixed the fence and the gaps myself. She came outside as I was fixing the fence and when I asked her if it was okay she sarcastically said ‘well I don’t want your dog in my garden’. Which is all well and good, but he never gets over there it’s only because of her that he has. But I let it go. I woke up this morning to my door bell ringing repeatedly, ran downstairs thinking maybe it was my mum and something had happened but my neighbour was stood at the door, jumping up and down with anger. I asked her she was okay and she asked me if I’d been in her garden, I said I’ve leant over to pick up my fence and grab my dog but I haven’t been in the garden. She then told me I’ve took stuff from her garden and I said this wasn’t the case, did anything get mixed up in with the ivy that she pushed over, and told her where the ivy was if she wanted to look through it. She then told me ‘catch me in my garden again I dare you’. I shut the door in her face, because I don’t want to be threatened. I can now hear her stomping around her house and shouting at the top of her voice. All of of our conversation happened with me remaining calm and her shouting and getting irate. So where do I go from here? I fully believe if she saw me now leaving the house (which it is very easy to) then she would try to attack me, but I have work at 11 so I have to leave soon. What do I do?

It sounds like they are pushing boundaries a bit like kids do, to see how much they can get away with.
First red flag is her dumping her rubbish in your garden.
You need to report every time she's threatening towards you.
I'd definitely discourage contact with their DC which is a shame for your DS but probably the best way to keep him safe.

To all the people saying leave it, why should she have no consequences for her actions? She's a bully and bullies need to be stopped.

I wouldn't do anything to set her off again. You are never ever going to 'win' or have a discussion with her where she thinks 'oh, actually you've got a point, I'll change my ways and become rational from now on'.

I'd prioritise getting a proper fence and then I'd say to her when you see her 'just to let you know I'm getting a fence because I don't want Rex getting in your garden and bothering you.'

You need to have a paper trail if you're going to get anything done about her behaviour.

Feeling intimidated into staying quiet is not good and neither is giving her chance after chance because she calms down after abusing you!

The sooner you get incidents logged, the sooner something will get done before she goes too far. She's already scared off the previous owners!

Get a Ring doorbell, best thing ever. Everything you need to install it is in the pack ie the drill bit, a screwdriver, template.

It is not only a doorbell that you can answer with your phone and talk to the person but it also records any movement so if someone approaches the door it records them before they push the doorbell, including sound.

We have the Ring doorbell plus cameras. The app even tells you the battery level. We have a spare one that we have charged and ready to go so we can just swap it out.

8misskitty8
Not sure what good it will do now, finding out the previous owners didn’t disclose the disputes.

MissMalone99

I think the best way forward is to get a high fence put up in your back garden, a Ring doorbell that records and then just completely ignore her. She can’t start or continue an argument if you ignore her. Also, don’t let your DS play with her children, you need to just cut all contact.
Good luck, it’s a horrible situation to have to live with.

They "suddenly calmed down" did they? "completely changed and became the lovely people that I have known"?

How nice.

OP if you cannot sell and move then start as you mean to go on.

Log every single incident with police and council and record them in a notebook.

Cut contact beyond a head nod or hello.

No contact between the children.

Put up a recording door bell and camera in the back garden.

Erect fence asap.

By logging from the very beginning you will put her on notice that you will not be bullied.

If you allow her to behave like this it will only get worse.

How awful for you.

Best to meet this head on and take control.

Very best of luck.

log it with the council at least and the police-if theyve had reports before it will help you

Get an enormous and solid fence between you and them asap.

Ditto the doorbell and security cam at the back.

Start as you mean to go on here don't let them push you about or draw you into arguments.

Quickly popping on whilst in the loo.

To move forward now I’m going to cut contact, still be polite and say hi but no more chats. Get a ring doorbell for my front door and then try and install CCTV in the garden. I will keep a log of anything more that happens and if it continues I will call 101/the council and log it in.

@pepperpot99 yes, they were arguing with DM’s partner shouting and ranting and raving. Then suddenly she told her DP to calm down and apologised out of nowhere.

She’s playing good cop, bad cop all by herself. Bad cop sounds like the real person from what you’ve described/heard so don’t be fooled by the nice act when she decides to switch it on. Polite and non-responsive to the drama is the right way, she’ll keep trying to wrong foot you so that you never know which mood you are going to get and that usually means people tiptoe round and appease them. You don’t need to give her the oxygen.

call your solicitor re non disclosure of neighbourly disputes as that often put people off big time esp instances like yours.

Horrible experience for you. Report to Police on the non urgent number. Keep a diary / log of all incidents wth times and dates. Get a camera at your door and record interactions , or on your phone. Don’t play the polite game where we pretend the batshit thing didn’t happen. Try not to engage. Find out who the fence belongs to. If it’s hers, have another built on your side, you really don’t want your dog in there. Explain to your boy that she is not ok and there will be no socialising.
With the above and the fact you have family support, she may realise you can’t be her victim. But be prepared to go back to the police and also to complain to the council. I hate bullies, you can defeat her!

I wouldn't report anything because you might be forced to sell in the next couple years and it will go against your own house.

Get a camera at your door and record interactions , or on your phone. Don’t play the polite game where we pretend the batshit thing didn’t happen.

This - in spades!

OP, put up the highest most solid fence you can back and front, or plant a solid screening hedge. Always have your dog on a lead as you go out so you can enter and exit easily.

Never speak!
Personally l would react back with some serious anger as she is a horrible bully...but that is very bad advice!

I’d build a fucking 10 foot brick wall between her and you.

I'm really confused, have I missed something?

Recently she cut some ivy and some overgrowth down from her garden and it caused my fence to collapse and there to be gaps in the other fences where my dog can get through to hers. She pushed all her rubbish into my garden after cutting the ivy etc down. I said nothing of it, found somewhere to put it and fixed the fence and the gaps myself

That reads as if the OPs fence is in such poor repair that the I've was holding it up - the OP stated that it was her fence so she needs to keep it in better repair.

It sounds as if the gaps in the fence meant that the OPs dog went next door. I'm not surprised the neighbour is annoyed by having a random dog running around her garden.

Is the OP sure that the neighbour wasn't just returning clippings as you are meant too if cutting plants belonging to someone else (need clarification on which side.of the boundary the ivy etc is rooted).

And of the course the OP should fix her own fence. It is her fence and it sounds like it was in very poor repair.

@ItsAllGoingToBeFine

Are you OP’s nutty neighbour?

Put in a 2m high fence. Concrete posts with strong slide in panels. Plant some very prickly plants along your side - pyrocanthus is excellent, berberis too.
CCTV front & rear then ignore them. Any more threats or aggro report to the police and the council.
They may already be on a final warning from the council (which I suspect from their sudden change around) so if you report them now for their anti-social behaviour......

Write it all down in detail, dates and times especially (my shitty ex neighbours once took an estimated date on my complaint to crow that their precious angels were on holiday with family at the time). I wouldn't escalate it now, or they'll treat you like an enemy permanently.

Focus on installing the tallest fences you can afford - front garden too if you can, and CCTV, then avoid them as much as you can. Try and record any shouting you hear.

And of the course the OP should fix her own fence. It is her fence and it sounds like it was in very poor repair.

She'd only recently moved in, I don't think we can blame her for that?

Since you have a dog, maybe consider a second, larger dog of the dissuasive variety. We had a series of run-ins with idiots, then got big dogs. We never really looked back.