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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I got drunk knowing I was pregnant.

70 replies

DuckingAutocorrect · 21/07/2019 19:33

The other night I got very drunk knowing I was pregnant.

I've suffered from recurrent miscarriages in the past few years and am on anti depressants because of this.

We'd been having a break from TTC as I wasn't ready to go through it again and had recently felt a lot better in myself. After some time we decided to try again with the backing of the hospital and I got pregnant.

I'm now 7 weeks.

The other night I thought I noticed some blood starting, just a slight hint of pink on the tissue. I panicked. I went out and got so drunk. I'm so annoyed with myself.

I didn't notice any more blood but went to the EPU anyway and have just found out from my repeat blood tests that I haven't miscarried.

I'm so angry with myself. DH was away with work and I haven't told him.

AIBU to not say anything? I thought that was it again. I still don't believe this will come to anything. I just don't dare to hope anymore.

I guess I just saw the blood and thought fuck it, after everything that's happened before but it's no excuse.

OP posts:
HavelockVetinari · 21/07/2019 19:36

One single incident will probably not have done any harm. Don't beat yourself up, but don't drink any more during pregnancy. Flowers

GorkyMcPorky · 21/07/2019 19:36

If it makes you feel better, I was drunk the night before I found out I was pregnant (I never believed it could happen having had a lot of trouble TTC). DD is fine.

Original poster
DuckingAutocorrect · 21/07/2019 19:38

I'm worried now because I know if anything happens with this pregnancy I will blame myself even though it's probably more likely to be the same cause as the others.

OP posts:
Cheeserton · 21/07/2019 19:41

YABU, but you know that already, per your own statements. Sorry you've been through so much, just take it a day at a time and don't beat yourself up about it.

Elliesmommy · 21/07/2019 19:41

I was pregnant for my wedding and honeymoon and didnt know it. Drank all round me smoked all round me. These things happen. Park it and move on. Best wishes for a happy healthy pregnancy

Crabbitstick · 21/07/2019 19:42

This happens all the time - people drink before they realise they are pregnant. You will not have caused harm. If you do miscarry it is absolutely not due to getting drunk.
I hope you are getting support with your fertility issues. I know from previous experience that I was very anxious when I did have a viable pregnancy after miscarriage - make sure your midwife is aware of your feelings.
I hope your pregnancy continues 💐

TheGoogleMum · 21/07/2019 19:42

There's lots of stories of people being drunk before they found out they were pregnant and baby was fine (happened to me too! Only dtd once all month so thought there was no chance) so try not to be so hard on yourself

Original poster
DuckingAutocorrect · 21/07/2019 19:43

Thank you.

Should I say anything to H?

OP posts:
Breastfeedingworries · 21/07/2019 19:44

Between you all, I was drunk and very low even did cocaine before I knew I was pregnant, Once I.D done test and knew I stopped but I have a healthy dd. It doesn’t mean anything bad will happen, don’t beat yourself up lots of people don’t know! Xx

FloatingthroughSpace · 21/07/2019 19:45

Up to 7/8 weeks the placenta isn't really functioning and the foetus uses it's yolk sac. So baby wasn't attached to your blood supply and will be fine. Stay off alcohol now though.

MrBlueSkype · 21/07/2019 19:45

I'd drunk the best part of a bottle of Tequila after a full night out on a holiday to Ibiza, found out later on that holiday that I was pregnant.

Fivebyfivesq · 21/07/2019 19:47

So just to be clear - you went out and got drunk because you thought you’d miscarried again?

Ok you should have made absolutely sure first. But I think that’s a bit different to knowingly getting drunk while pregnant and I would be careful to differentiate between the two if you tell DH or it makes it sound worse.

And the best of luck to you

user1471453601 · 21/07/2019 19:55

I drank (not a lot, but throughout) and smoked all the way through my pregenancy.

Before people pile in, it was in the 60s. Science had not realised that both things were detrimental to the foetus.

DD is 50 next year. She has two degrees and a post graduate certificate in education.

She was/is totally fine.

All of which I say to try to reassure you that one day of madness (I really understand why that occasion occurred) is unlikely to harm your child.

Take care of yourdelf, and I hope things go well for you

spellingtest · 21/07/2019 19:56

@Elliesmommy said.

Original poster
DuckingAutocorrect · 21/07/2019 20:00

So just to be clear - you went out and got drunk because you thought you’d miscarried again?

I guess that's more like what it was. Although I think I suspected when the blood stopped that it may not have been the case. All the times previously it's started quickly and become heavy very quick.

I just wanted to forget my situation I guess

OP posts:
Original poster
DuckingAutocorrect · 21/07/2019 20:01

If I'm being totally truthful I think there was an element once I'd started of 'even if I haven't miscarried now, I will eventually any way'

OP posts:
HolyMilkBoobiesBatman · 21/07/2019 20:03

I came here to say YABU until I read your post.

Please look at it this way; you got drunk as a form of expressing your emotional distress when you thought you’d lost your baby. That is ENTIRELY different to knowingly getting drunk when pregnant.
Please try and forgive yourself for this and move on, you intention was never to cause harm to your baby and dwelling on this won’t do you any good.

Please seek help for your emotional wellbeing. You’ve been through a lot and it sounds as though you would really benefit from some help in processing what you have been through.

Best of luck with you pregnancy Flowers

category12 · 21/07/2019 20:09

No, don't tell your DH at all.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/07/2019 20:19

Don’t be hard on yourself Flowers

Poppi89 · 21/07/2019 20:20

I was unknowingly pregnant for about 2 months and I was drinking heavily and smoking a lot of tobacco and cannabis and my DC was fine. But I would never do that if I was actually pregnant and I think it was very shit of you to do that after having so many miscarriages before this so I can see your guilt but you will never know what caused the miscarriage so there's no point beating yourself up forever.

MrsMiggins37 · 21/07/2019 20:22

Don’t say anything, what good will it do?

Plenty of women get drunk not even knowing they’re pregnant at that stage. I hope all is well this time, but even if not, I’m sure the drinking won’t be to blame.

Original poster
DuckingAutocorrect · 21/07/2019 20:25

If I didn't truly believe this was going to end the way the others all had I never would have done it. I just thought 'this is it' and I couldn't sit in alone whilst it all started again so I made a stupid decision.

I did tell the nurse at the hospital who tried to assure me I won't have done any harm but who knows.

OP posts:
nethunsreject · 21/07/2019 20:26

Forgive yourself, it was an understandable reaction given the situation. Hope you have a happier and healthy future pg and lots of best wishes Flowers

Junobug · 21/07/2019 20:27

As someone has said, until 9 weeks the baby is getting it's nutrients from the yoke sac and there is no proper placenta to pass anything that you consume to the baby so it is incredibly unlikely that you drinking has had any impact on what may or may not happen.
I hope things go well for you in this pregnancy.

Bittercup · 21/07/2019 20:30

Be kind to yourself Thanks