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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Odd question from lodger

95 replies

toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 11:55

I woke up, rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. My lodger asked if I was going to the shop. Er, no, I have just got out of bed and going to take a piss. I don't offer a 24 hour guest service. I work really long hours in a demanding job, and you are a student. Go and buy your own f!cking breakfast, you CF.

Anyone else find this odd?

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Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 12:50

DarlingNikita It would suit me just fine, it she just happened to ask me in return. Whenever I'm in the kitchen, I'll offer to make a coffee or tea if I'm making one. Once again, never has she returned the favour. You're right, it doesn't suit me when you aren't treated the way you treat others.

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Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 12:51

neveradullmoment99 lol so I've made her entitled by being helpful

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PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 21/07/2019 12:52

In the circumstances you describe she is clearly a lazy mf and is taking the piss. The correct question would have been to ask you if you want anything while she goes to the shop. What kind of person hangs around waiting for someone else to get washed, dressed and head out to avoid the two minute walk to the shop?

She is dressed you are not. Yet she has decided that if you both want things from the shop then you should be the one to go to be them.

bigchris · 21/07/2019 12:52

This is hilarious

Just reply ' no I'm going for a piss ' next time Grin

Pipandmum · 21/07/2019 12:52

Ah I see! Now I know that you’ve offered before it would be perfectly reasonable to say ‘no but as you’re dressed we could use X and Y’!

PaintingOwls · 21/07/2019 12:58

So you want to be a martyr by offering her tea, food, and picking things up in the shops... I always offer as well, at work and at home. If it's not reciprocated within 2-3 times then I stop offering Confused you're being ridiculous and overly sensitive. There's no need to dramatise about 24- hour-service.

TanMateix · 21/07/2019 13:01

Well, it is not as if she handed you your purse and her shopping list and walked you to the door. No need to get grouchy, a simple “no” is enough.

I understand your pain though. We had an accidental “lodger” at home for 6 weeks, a guy who was working with my then husband. By the 5th my exH paid the deposit on a new rental for him as I explained very clearly that if he was not gone by the weekend, I would put both of them on the street.

His parting words were “I don’t have any bedsheets, I have no idea where to get them, can I give you some money to get me some?”

If he had not been working with exH, he would have been buried in the backyard 5 minutes later Angry

LikeDolphinsCanSwin · 21/07/2019 13:01

You must be a delight to live with.

CSIblonde · 21/07/2019 13:01

She just wondered if you'd be going some time today is how I read it. If she never returns the getting stuff while you're there favour, ask her outright to get you something next time she's on her way. People don't always think: prompts usually work.

Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 13:03

LikeDolphinsCanSwin I am actually. Too nice. Always been my problem.

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Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 13:03

CSIblonde Nah she wanted breakfast

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SlipperOrchid · 21/07/2019 13:03

I think you might be happier living on your own OP.

Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 13:03

CSIblonde And when I said i wasn't going to the shops, she left a few mins later

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Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 13:04

SlipperOrchid I'd prefer not to live with someone who thinks it's OK to ask someone who has just got out of bed whether they are going to the shop. Someone who isn't a relative or partner. Someone who was clearly going for a piss then back to bed.

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Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 13:05

TanMateix Haha what a cheek!

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FattyPedalsFuriously0hPipNo · 21/07/2019 13:08

What a grouch! YABU. She wasn't telling you to go right now, sounds more like,'if you happen to be going to the shop at some point'.... Stop offering the rest of the time if you don't think this is okay.

Dieu · 21/07/2019 13:08

It's give and take, isn't it. So I wouldn't get worked up about this, as the next time they head out to the shops, you might find yourself in need of milk for your cuppa.
Anyway, you said no, so what's the big deal?! Hmm

DarlingNikita · 21/07/2019 13:08

You're right, it doesn't suit me when you aren't treated the way you treat others.

No, me either. You do sound very defensive and over-sensitive, though, and a bit hung up on the outrage of it all.

Badcat666 · 21/07/2019 13:09

You might not be suited to having a lodger....

or the lodger could stop being a CF and go to the shop themselves rather than use the OP as their own personal food shopper.

Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 13:10

DarlingNikita I just don't like people who take the piss and who are in my face the minute I wake up. I'm not a morning person Grin

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PizzaIsOverrated · 21/07/2019 13:11

This reply has been deleted

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wanderings · 21/07/2019 13:15

@Readytogogogo and @toffeeapple123 That was fifteen years ago: I was very sensitive and with low self-esteem as a "young adult" in my early twenties, and was always afraid of pitfall like this. I'm tougher now, but the memories of accidentally offending people with mistimed questions are still going strong, so I do have some sympathy for those who get it wrong, even those older than I was.

Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 13:16

PizzaIsOverrated Quite the opposite - I'm super considerate. I'd never, ever approach a flat mate as soon as they've woken up, on their way to the bathroom, to ask if they are going to the shop. I'd wait until they at least come out, and look like they are on planet earth before asking if they can go and buy me breakfast.

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WorraLiberty · 21/07/2019 13:16

Christ on a crispbread. Mumsnet is even more bizarre than usual today.

My face muscles are aching from being permanently stuck like this > Confused

Original poster
toffeeapple123 · 21/07/2019 13:18

Christ on a crispbread. >> Grin

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