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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

For asking her to put some knickers on?

107 replies

Cheeseandapple · 21/07/2019 00:28

Away for 2 nights with my mum. She booked accomodation and, as always, hasn't booked enough beds so we're sharing a double. It's hot here and we're both wearing short cotton nighties. I've got pants on because we're sharing a bed. Just asked her to do the same and she refused, told me her nighty covered her. I said it doesn't and that's how I know she's not wearing any knickers. She told me to stop being bossy and then said I'm good at always spoiling nice things. Who was unreasonable?

OP posts:
PupsAndKittens · 21/07/2019 03:41

My friends never wear underwear. I personally think it’s a bit weird. OP, YABU to demand that your DM wears something they don’t feel comfortable in, however your DM should of booked correctly. If you don’t get on why are you on holiday with her?

bellabasset · 21/07/2019 04:08

This has made me laugh. I wouldn't look or put pjs in myself

MerryMarigold · 21/07/2019 04:41

My DM and dsis suffer from recurrent thrush so that they cannot wear pyjamas to bed and certainly not pants as everything gets way too hot. It really wouldn't bother me if we were also but if she's sitting in the bed letting it all hang out whilst lights are on is feel a bit awkward.

tryingtobebetterallthetime · 21/07/2019 05:40

A true story. My Mom had dementia, but not to the point where she didn't know her children or couldn't follow a simple conversation. It was August and very hot. DH and I were away from home staying with Mom as my Dad was in hospital and she could not care for herself. A very difficult time.

We had dinner and were watching a John Wayne movie. He was my Mom's hero! Mom and Dad had a huge soaker bathtub, and I asked her if I could take a nice bath. She was happy for me to do so. I collected my bath stuff, and proceeded to lie full length in the bath. Next thing I knew, in came Mom, bless her. I am here to wash your back she said. She did a great job! I will never forget that moment. DH says she just got up and went into the bathroom. It was a deep expression of Mother's love.

Both my parents died five months later. I realize that washing a back is different than what you are experiencing OP, but I would give almost anything to spend a night so close to my dear Mom.

Cheers!

PatricksRum · 21/07/2019 05:54

I think neither of you abu.
Personal preference

Miniloso · 21/07/2019 06:00

@WonkoTheSane42 😁

PonderingPanda · 21/07/2019 06:42

YANBU. My mum is in her 70s and since my Dad died a few years ago, her social etiquette has deteriorated.

Innersmellbow · 21/07/2019 07:05

No knickers can make a huge difference when it's really hot.

Try it op.

maddiemookins16mum · 21/07/2019 07:20

I’ve shared a bed with my mum, but our foofs were always suitably attired.

Juells · 21/07/2019 07:37

This reply has been deleted

This post has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

Pinktinker · 21/07/2019 07:50

Eurgh... I would not want to be faced with my Mother’s guff. YANBU at all.

madcatladyforever · 21/07/2019 07:57

I would feel most uncomfortable as I don't have a good relationship with my mother. She has never touched or hugged me and I would freeze if she brushed against me in be. Could be OP has a similar relationship with her mother.

Palaver1 · 21/07/2019 08:09

Really ..actually cross you posted this.

PookieDo · 21/07/2019 08:12

I probably wouldn’t love this 😂 but the chuff is under the duvet no?

I slept last night topless and DC’s came in to my room this morning to give me presents for my birthday and refused until I had a top on, fair enough so I put a nightie on. I usually do not go around making them feel uncomfortable when they make it clear they are, so your DM is BU

Rosehip10 · 21/07/2019 08:14

Are you from a middle class background?

PookieDo · 21/07/2019 08:19

What the fuck does it matter what class she is? Your mums bits are still your mums bits Confused

BestestBrownies · 21/07/2019 08:27

Jesus, you Brits are so uptight.

It's you own mother FFS! Unless you're topping and tailing and her muff is in your face, just get a grip.

Such a non-issue.

NeatFreakMama · 21/07/2019 08:30

Ewww YANBU I would sleep on the floor.

Peanutbuttericecream · 21/07/2019 08:37

I can’t believe anyone wears knickers in bed. Just why?

StoppinBy · 21/07/2019 08:53

No way would that be ok with me. There is a really good chance that her nightie will ride up and you will end up with some part of your body pressed up against her naked vagina. Gross.

YADNBU

Juells · 21/07/2019 08:56

some part of your body pressed up against her naked vagina.

Yeah, if the OP is a contortionist.

Soontobe60 · 21/07/2019 08:58

This would be a no for me! Either sharing with my mother, or sharing with my adult daughters.
As for the pp ghtfully shared that neither her do or dsis would wear knickers as they have thrush, surely that's all the more reason to wear pants if sharing a bed! A nice cotton gusset won't increase the thrush 🤣🤣🤣

TroysMammy · 21/07/2019 09:00

From my earliest memories I have never seen my DM's foof or boobs and she's never seen mine since I was a teen. I'm 51. I would be eww too if I saw them.

mindproject · 21/07/2019 09:02

Don't get our knickers in a twist about this.

cloudyinjune · 21/07/2019 09:06

I'm good at always spoiling nice things
I think her idea of nice things and mine are different Grin