AIBU to think that if your child leaving primary school is one of the hardest days of your life, you've had an easy life?

[Doyoumind]

Don't get me wrong. I understand it's a day full of emotions. I just saw someone make this statement on SM and think it's overly dramatic. If that's the worst life has to throw at you, you must be blessed.

People ARE overly emotional and whiny

No. People find different things make them emotional for whatever reason. That doesn’t make you superior, it just makes you different.

I think one of the most important qualities we can impart to our children is empathy.

Apparently one of the things ofsted look at in primary schools is the level of parental involvement offered. That's why schools do so many assemblies that parents can come too, arts and crafts sessions that parents can come too, parent reading sessions, teddy bear picnics in the park, sports days that parents are involved in... and so on.
However reading this it seems so many of you don't want your child's school to do all this yet would never even consider sending your children to the school down the road that "has a terrible ofsted and is soooo awful".

JacquesHammer - I don’t know how you think I’m superior from my posts but whatever.

I still think that people are whiny and overemotional and I do think crying over a small child’s “graduation” ceremony or reality television is ridiculous.

I don’t know how you think I’m superior from my posts but whatever

Oh I don’t think you’re superior. You sure as goodness do.

My son left primary school on Friday, he’s my youngest and I’ve been doing the same school run for 13 years. I didn’t feel sad on the day he left, DS and I are more than ready to move on!

Mummyoflittledragon

You are right ! Look I know I have got way over invested about end of primary /start of SS

Waaaaay too ! I am what the OP posts about ! But I still feel really shit about it

I don’t think I’m over emotional or whiny and have had some much worse days in my life, but I cried when one of my dc left primary school. The other parents on the playground would have had no idea why and probably could have started a MN thread about me being over emotional. The truth was that he’d had a really difficult year and had overcome a lot of challenges. School wasn’t easy for him and he had come so far over the course of year 6 that I was a) bursting with tearful pride and b) worried/ sad about him leaving behind the support structure that had been so good to him.
If you don’t like the SM posts then hide them but don’t judge people. And I’m sure nearly everyone uses hyperbole sometimes, it’s nothing to get wound up about.

It is an exaggerated phrase to indicate that she felt really emotional. When you say ‘I’m starving’ you are not actually starving. I don’t know why you are taking it so literally! But I totally understand why it will be hard seeing our child leave a lovely, nurturing, little school where she has been so happy (in our case) to go into a huge sprawling secondary school where undoubtedly she will have a bit of a culture shock. Not sure if she will have one friend or child she knows in her new class. There is fear of the unknown. It is the end of an innocent era too where she could believe in Santa and the tooth fairy without seeming weird. No worries about bullying or cliques or boyfriend/girlfriend issues. The worry of all that new independence. I know I will find it hard next year.

I agree op. Its all a bit ott.

It probably isn't, the person is just exaggerating, more likely. Language exaggeration has grown a lot in recent years.

YANBU. I do think some people get totally over invested in their children’s lives, I was a SAHM, I was involved with the school, reading, PTA, helping on trips etc etc. but it wasn’t ‘my whole life’, I just did it to do ‘my bit’ & when DS left (no PTA at secondary school ) I was just delighted that stage of my life was over ... he’s off to uni soon,I can’t wait.

Completely agree OP, bloody drama llamas!

Parents with too much time on their hands!

I cry over anything and everything...... but I am not emotionally attached to stages in their lives. I am more a 'what is happening next' than a 'I can't let go of this' kind of person.
The thing is I get caught up in the moment. A group of children singing gets me, a poem about grandparents, a nativity play where the head falls off baby Jesus (yes DS2 I mean the face you pulled when it happened). They all made me cry. By year 6 they were used to me and just let me get on with it.
Soon as I am out of there it is business as usual.
DSs used to conveniently forget my invites and rolled their eyes when I turned up

We had leavers' shows and emotions (admittedly, more the children's than the parents') when I left primary in the late 80s.

Talking of 'hardest day' and 'pain' when it is just about moving on to the next stage, with no painful background to it (JacquesHammer ), is a little self-indulgent. Thus far (14 years into parenting) I have always felt more of a poignant pride at them growing and moving on to the next stage.

But a lot of this, I think, is due to SM and a perceived need to be seen to be feeling things deeply, to call attention to oneself, to be the 'best' as in most profoundly emotional parent.

It's only exciting if your child is looking forward to it. My ds I'ds dreading going to high school, he still have a year before he goes so that makes me worry terribly. Both my ds's did not cope well with starting nursery or primary, the broke their heart every morning. That for me as a parent is one of the toughest things I've ever had to deal with, and I've been through some absolute shit in my life, the difference is my children are the most important things in the world to me. I couldn't give a shit about me, I just shrug the bad off and get on with my life. My kids being that upset about something does nothing but make me worry. Only one accident that my youngest had was worse than watching them break their hearts at the school doors and have to be physically removed from me. My ds1 won't do that when going to high school but I will still worry myself sick about him.

I don't have sm though, and certainly wouldn't post about how I feel.

I should add that I cast no aspersions whatsoever on someone being emotional at a milestone. As PP have pointed out, nobody knows what challenges have gone before getting to this point. It's the language of 'pain' and it being 'hard' that I find difficult (in the run-of-the-mill cases with no sad background). Surely 'bittersweet' is more appropriate.

'the difference is my children are the most important things in the world to me'

I think this is the case for most parents. A lack of open emotion at transitions does not equate to a lack of importance of that child to the parent. I know you are not suggesting this directly, but I think this is at the root of a lot of these posts - the idea that emotions need to be shown and proved to be considered authentic and validated.

My dd just left primary school, I have no other small children left. I felt a little emotional definitely. It is an end of an era, and the beginning of a new one where I will not be as involved. Many parents see the leaving of primary school as the end of childhood as children move into secondary school.

It is a long, long way from the worst day of my life, but I can understand the sentiment of feeling a little sad about the change. Along the lines of first day of school etc. If you are invested in your child's school, edcuation and life of course you are going to have some feelings about it.

The SM post was probably posted after a few glasses of wine, and I would give it no further thought op.

My DCs are a few years off leaving but I always get emotional about these kinds of transitions. The final assembly when they say good bye to departing teachers and y6 do make my eyes water even when there is no particular personal interest.

My dad died weeks away from the end of my y6. I missed half my induction day to go to his funeral, so I think a lot of my emotional response is that raw, grieving 11 year old in me as he'd been dead barely 4 weeks the day I left primary school. Grief can manifest itself by proxy at seemingly random times, and I seem to be getting more emotional with time as my DCs get closer to the age that I was.
As a supply teacher there have been many years of change, some schools I've had to restrain myself from skipping out gleefully, others I have been sad to move on from and often into uncertainty for the new school year. It's a time of year that I do get more emotional than usual (but in a feeling silly wiping a quiet tear way not a hyperbolic posting on fb kind of way).

The "worst day of my life" is certainly melodramatic, but it is understamdable that people get emotional. I get more emotionally charged with DS1 as he's a more anxious child so there is more concern about him adapting to the next stage, although DS2's turn will be the end of an era after 9 years when it's his turn.

Those who say ‘I will no longer be involved’ are not upset for their children, they are upset for themselves.

Of coarse you can be involved in high school. Or it’s your child’s chance for independence.