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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that if your child leaving primary school is one of the hardest days of your life, you've had an easy life?

146 replies

Doyoumind · 20/07/2019 12:18

Don't get me wrong. I understand it's a day full of emotions. I just saw someone make this statement on SM and think it's overly dramatic. If that's the worst life has to throw at you, you must be blessed.

OP posts:
cansu · 20/07/2019 15:25

Totally agree. Ridiculous and does absolutely show that there is little else going on.

JoyceDivision · 20/07/2019 15:29

Bookmum08

You could could continue to volunteer at the school. Why would that have to stop once your DC leaves?

Bringonspring · 20/07/2019 15:30

I do think we are overly emotionalising events for children. Don’t get me started on graduations for nursery children. It really should be a celebration, I get the sadness but has to be forward looking.

JoyceDivision · 20/07/2019 15:33

OhyesIam

That's such a good comment "Parents are meant to work themselves out of a job.

JacquesHammer · 20/07/2019 15:33

Thank you jeffter, Headintheclouds and weepatchesoflove

I’ve pretty much made my peace with it now, but the very odd occasion - and usually when least expected - utterly blindsides me.

Lazydaisies · 20/07/2019 15:37

Without a shadow of a doubt leaving my DS into preschool was one of the worst days of my life. He was utterly traumatised in spite of my working FT and him having been with a CM for the previous 3 years. After less than an hour the school rang my DH and asked him to stay the other 2 hours and we did a version of that for the first month. They had been all blaze when we shared our concerns at the start, “we have done this for 30 years”, “you’ll see he will be grand” but I knew he would not be. At his first school meeting they said without a doubt it was the most traumatic start they had dealt with. 6 months later with the help of his preschool he was diagnosed with ASD. His first day of school was an absolute breeze though.

hashtagthathappened · 20/07/2019 15:39

And you know what bookmum?

That would be fine.

No really, it would. Take a step back. You’ll see Smile

bookmum08 · 20/07/2019 15:43

Joyce I am looking into carrying on volunteering at the school or other schools but I really do need to look into paid work now.
My situation is definitely not what I would describe as 'hardest day of my life' but it is a big part of my life ending so it is 'emotionally' hard in a way.

hashtagthathappened · 20/07/2019 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

4under4our · 20/07/2019 15:47

I had a horrible childhood, my life was not a nice one until I was in my early 20's.

Regardless of that, the first time I dropped my eldest at preschool as I started to leave I felt really overwhelmed with sadness/panic. I think I'd have been fine if I'd got to my car without being stopped but the manager spotted me looking upset and asked if I was alright.

I ended up having a panic attack and as I'd never had one before so didn't know what was happening and I was heavily pregnant the manager called an ambulance.

Take that for over dramatic 😂

Aprillygirl · 20/07/2019 15:54

Saying it's one of the worst days of one's life may be a little extreme, but it's just a figure of speech so I wouldn't get too worked up about it. And for some parents perhaps it is harder than it is for others. I remember the leavers assemblies being killers as I battled to fight back the tears while most around me seemed perfectly fine. I still feel a bit choked when I look back now 5 years plus later, and I've had a fucking shit life haha.

bookmum08 · 20/07/2019 16:00

hashtag I looked into returning to work when she was 4 but the costs I would if had to pay for before/after school care and holiday care would have pretty much wiped out anything I earned. So we decided to just have my husband's wage. I could of volunteered at something else during school hours but I enjoyed being in the school. I have enjoyed it and it's given me confidence and friendships and I feel proud I have helped children in my community.

CarlaJones · 20/07/2019 16:07

Good for you bookmum and well done for enriching their education by helping raise funds/hearing readers and making it possible for kids to go on school trips.

Poloshot · 20/07/2019 16:08

Yeah you're right it's pathetic

bookmum08 · 20/07/2019 16:11

Also hashtag you really would be happy with your children to only have a basic academic education with no creative or fun extras or support if needed. Or trips.That doesn't sound an exciting education.

Bringonspring · 20/07/2019 16:12

Bookmum-you don’t need to justify it. Sounds like you’ve had a lovely time volunteering at the school and I’m sure you can frame that as experience for your CV.

hashtagthathappened · 20/07/2019 16:16

To be honest bookmum, yes. Trips are all very nice but they compose a small part of school life.

I was being a bit mean and it’s nice you do it but I can tell from your post that you take a lot of pride from it. IME it’s good for there to be distance between you and your child as she gets older.

formerbabe · 20/07/2019 16:26

You’re only looking at paid work now, with an 11 year old? Christ. No wonder kids leaving primary is a hard day!

Wow, not a nice comment.

I'm a sahm of school age dc...my ds is 11 and I haven't worked during his entire primary school career.

Juggling and paying for childcare wouldn't have been worth it.

It really strikes me as incredibly mean to put down someone volunteering.

JoyceDivision · 20/07/2019 16:27

Stay volunteering bookmum, often it's a good way to get your foot in door for any posts that might come up...

hashtagthathappened · 20/07/2019 16:27

It was and I’ve acknowledged that. Just the same, eleven years is a LONG time not to have been working.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2019 16:28

YANBU op but honestly, if it's true, god luck to them, in just jealous

formerbabe · 20/07/2019 16:34

It was and I’ve acknowledged that

Sorry totally missed that Blush

Just the same, eleven years is a LONG time not to have been working.

I actually found it easier to work when my ds was a baby than during the primary years.

Notonthestairs · 20/07/2019 16:40

I'll be one of the teary parents next week.

My DS has had a brilliant 7 years at his school - but he's definitely ready for something more. We've just finished buying secondary school uniform - he knows how happy I am for him to start the next stage in his life.

But next week will also be the anniversary of my mum's death. She'd have bloody loved hearing all about it. Another little milestone gone.

So not the worse day of my life by a long way - but an odd, emotionally charged one. If somebody wants to judge me for having a few tears so be it.

JustDanceAddict · 20/07/2019 16:42

Lucky for them if it is, but it’s also ridiculous to be ‘devastated’. A bit emotional and sentimental- I was, and miss certain aspects of that time - but life moves on quickly.
I agree with those who say that the fuss made now about end stages of school - proms etc does make it worse. We had a picnic in a fellow pupil’s garden on the last day ever of primary. My DS had a disco in the last couple of week, picnic (both organised by school), plus a parent organised party/disco!!!

CarlaJones · 20/07/2019 16:50

bookmum08 don't let her put you down. The vast majority of people don't think school trips/hearing kids read/fund raising are pointless