To not invite this child?

[hibbledibble]

Big birthday party coming up. We plan to invite a lot of people as large venue.

I have invited this child for the past 5-6 years. They RSVPed yes each time, but only turned up once. Present sent afterwards each time and an implausible apology.

We weren't invited to their party for the past few years. Awkwardly, a mutual friend asked us this year if we were going, to which I said we weren't invited.

If I don't invite them (but invite lots of mutual friends) it might seem like a snub. But then I don't want them to think I am just inviting said child for a present (which I'm not, I want guests to be present, not bring presents). It seems like for whatever reason they don't want to come to my child's party.

As a background, and so as not to drip feed, their child has some additional needs, but we have made it clear we can accommodate them, and they do go to other parties (so it's not parties per say that are an issue).

Aibu not to invite? I'm probably overthinking this.

*i don't think them

You invite them they accept but don't show up.
Their child does not see your child as a friend, if he did he would invite him to his parties.
If this child didn't have sn would you keep pushing to invite them? It seems like you are desperate to invite them more to show people that you are cool/sensitive whatever.

I tend to do big "pay for the venue" parties in community centres.
I just invite everyone I can think of. We rarely get the invite reciprocated and often don't even get RSVPs. (I just guess at the numbers and have had to run out to the shop mid party for emergency party bag supplies)
We always have a great day, with loads of kids having a ball.
On that basis: I would lean towards inviting the child.

Sagaloo - can't agree that it "IS rude" - they have given the OP reasons why they didn't come, although she considers them implausible. Anxiety issues can cause problems with any event on any day - they may have been ok on other days, which is why they were able to go.
The child may not have anxiety issues but they might too - OP hasn't said either way. My children have friends with anxiety issues and we know that sometimes they just won't be able to manage it - doesn't mean we refuse to invite them because they can't make it half the time.

I understand that they may not be being deliberately rude, but 5 years of no-shows after accepting and yet goinng to other parties can be considered rude.

However as there may be mitigating circumstances, I'm not suggesting OP should stop inving because of above, but that I can see how she just may be weary of it.

Yes, that's fair enough.

You just maintain the moral high ground and invite, if they don't turn up its no biggie. If they don't return the invite, your conscious is clear.... No need to make it a drama 🤷‍♀️

If your child is not desperate to unvite said kid over, them don't
Why would you if they keep being no
shows ..