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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to ghost my boyfriend?

75 replies

madeahugemistake · 19/07/2019 13:18

In a fairly newish relationship. Been very up and down, we both have issues but mainly it's me.

I broke up with him three weeks ago saying how I need to concentrate on myself, he gracefully accepted this. I then went batshit crazy on him for three weeks, saying I'd made a mistake, I love him, begging for another chance. He refused to meet me for the three weeks and hardly text. He then eventually agreed to meet a couple nights ago.

He gave me another chance, we talked it out and he asked me to stay. What was meant to be a quick meeting ended up with me being there for 14 hours.

I left, I was happy for a few hours, we text and the texts still seemed a bit awkward even though it was back to normal in person.

Now I've decided I don't want to be with him again. I know how utterly fucked that seems. But the sex is shit, he never takes me out, he points out my flaws. I just feel suddenly so over it and I'm not sure, it was as if the three weeks away from him I put him on a pedestal and then when I finally seen him I just noticed all the things I wasn't happy.

I don't feel like I can text him again and break up so soon as I think he would be fuming that I'm doing it again. And I can't deal with the back and forth of it all.

I left something at his house that I'm meant to collect tonight but I really don't want to see him. It's nothing that can't be replaced.

My question is would I be wrong to just ghost him? I know that sounds awful but I don't think I can face it. I am 100 percent sure I don't want to be with this guy.

OP posts:
Goodnightchristopherrobin · 19/07/2019 13:20

Can’t you just text and explain that you’re not feeling it? That feels kinder.

thecatinthetwat · 19/07/2019 13:24

Just tell him. You should deal with the fall out, you’ll be a better person for it and you owe to him.

Take some responsibility.

Shakennotshook · 19/07/2019 13:27

You sound great Hmm

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/07/2019 13:28

You think he'd be LESS angry and upset at being ghosted?

Just tell him its over.

YetAnotherUser · 19/07/2019 13:29

I then went batshit crazy on him

Haven't stopped, it seems.

gamerchick · 19/07/2019 13:29

You don't sound very nice to this guy. Be a grown up, own your shit and then when you're done. Leave him alone.

Then hope the same doesn't happen to you with the next one.

Pinktinker · 19/07/2019 13:30

Meh. I think you’d be doing him a favour tbh, you sound like hard work.

pilates · 19/07/2019 13:31

Just be honest and tell him. Ghosting is weak and pathetic.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/07/2019 13:32

Christ.

overnightangel · 19/07/2019 13:32

If you ghosted him you’d be doing him a favour, you sound like a nightmare.
At least you recognise that you’re batshit crazy I suppose, small mercies and all that

BlueMerchant · 19/07/2019 13:33

Just be upfront. Sounds like you don't know what you want in all honesty. I'd tell him you need to spend time on yourself.

Bambamber · 19/07/2019 13:38

Just be honest with him.

Then take some time out to figure out why you're behaving the way you are and sort yourself out

Beautiful3 · 19/07/2019 13:38

What you are doing isn't nice. Text him to say you're sorry but it's not working out, and leave him alone.

Divebar · 19/07/2019 13:38

Bloody hell! We all get lumped in with this sort of thing you know.

Work12 · 19/07/2019 13:40

Poor boy, let him meet someone nice and who knows what they want, you really have messed him around

SuperSara · 19/07/2019 14:12

You sound awful, OP.

The poor bloke needs to be cut free but at least have the decency to tell him.

overnightangel · 19/07/2019 14:12

Why do you have 2 threads on this

SciFiRules · 19/07/2019 14:20

What's ghosting?

Brefugee · 19/07/2019 14:26

Blimey, don't be so mean. Breaking up by text is bad enough - but if that's all he's going to get do it. Don't just piss off into the sunset.

dontquotem3 · 19/07/2019 14:33

While it maybe you have not treated your boyfriend kindly at all, it sounds like you are becoming more self aware / recognising things about yourself that you realise you need and want to deal with; which is healthy. If you can do without the item you left, send a text, if not, you’ll have to tell him face to face.
Sincerely, good luck whatever you decide OP.

thetimekeeper · 19/07/2019 14:38

Alternative proposal: you treat doing the right thing and telling him you don't want to continue the relationship as your first step towards sorting yourself out and treating people better.

What do you plan to do next to change your behaviour?

Bookworm4 · 19/07/2019 14:41

Aren’t you a delight.
Let him go, he deserves better than some batshit user.

Mumminmum · 19/07/2019 14:42

This does not sound like a healthy way to behave. Do you have some friends, you can talk with about this? There must be something else going on with you. Mood swings like those you have been having are not normal.

wowfudge · 19/07/2019 14:42

Ghosting someone means ceasing contact without explanation. Like you never existed in their life.

Staysexyanddontgetmurdered · 19/07/2019 14:44

How would you prefer to be treated in this situation? Think about it carefully and treat him with the same respect.

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