Family think I'm bad for leaving child at school 10mins before door opens

[pointbla]

I take my year 4 child early 10 mins before the school doors open and leave him there. I have another child to take to another school. He's 9 , I see no problem with it , other children are there too. Also, I don't regularly do that just occasionally.
My family seem to think this is very bad and I am putting my child at risk as the kids mess about. AIBU?

frogsoup

But you are ignoring the fact that the parent has legal responsibility for the child. Yes, they can hope someone will be nice, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t ignoring their own obligations. And in this case, the OP IS expecting staff to step in.

As would a child being dangled headfirst off the front of a cruise ship. It has nothing to do with this.

No sure about the cruise ship link to bullying or grooming but it was relevant because you posted that they might be bullied, groomed or get in a fight etc before school in those very eventful 10 minutes. It is relevant because you brought it up as yet another wild suggestion about why the OP was a terrible parent to leave her child for 10 minutes.

Ridiculous!! He's nine not two. Of course it's ok. Loads of kids at our school are dropped off and left, some a lot younger

Willow, you are still not getting it because you are thinking about it from the perspective of you as a parent making judgements about your child, when the school needs to look at the worst case scenario and plan accordingly.

Should a trampoline park let children bounce at 7.50 when their insurance kicks in at 8?

Do theme parks let people ride a bit early, just because there are very few accidents so there will likely not be a problem?

Of course they don't - and you might be surprised to hear that the risk of a serious injury (needing a and e) in a school playground is much, much more likely than in either of those two scenarios!

Parents can and do sue for slippy leaves on floors, rusty hinges on gates, mud on a slope. I've seen it.

It has nothing to do with parents judgement or how busy the teachers are.

AbbyHammond

The other day I walked down a London main road. I watched hundreds of people ignoring a man who was lying IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. Hundreds of people. It was busy. He could have been dead. I was the only person who stopped. Just me.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone

I didn’t call anyone a terrible parent.

If you cant leave a 9 yr old sitting in a playground/playing with other kids there for 10 whole minutes for fear of a major incident happening there is something far wrong!

There is definitely something wrong. Same with the ones who faint when they hear other children are perfectly capable of playing outside with no adults hovering round them. They've probably made their kids as anxious as them and the kids are not able to be alone for 10 minutes unsupervised.

hercule - but he was surely responsible for himself?

AbbyHammond

Nobody else was obligated to help him. But he isn’t a child. A child has a parent with that obligation.

And the pp who said we should all just help without responsibility - we all help, but some of us will lose our jobs when we help, that's the difference!

But he isn’t a child. A child has a parent with that obligation.

So its ok to help an adult if they have hurt themselves but not a child because they should always be with a parent? .

When is the line for you hercule? 9 year old - can never be left. Presumably a 19 year old can expect assistance from society EVEN THOUGH NO ONE IS OBLIGATED so is able to risk leaving the house alone.
15 year old though? 11 year old?

There are either lots of naive, or stupid, or people living in naice areas on here.
The only unaccompanied child you'd leave in schools round here would be the bully himself or a hard kid.
Some do have duty supervisor for about 15 mins before, and state you can't leave them unsupervised.
Non will openly agree to allow this for insurance purposes.

So its ok to help an adult if they have hurt themselves but not a child because they should always be with a parent? hmm.

Another thing I haven’t said.

As would a child being dangled headfirst off the front of a cruise ship. It has nothing to do with this.

And this has nothing to do with anything.
The op was making the point that its not just schools where bullying occurs, online bullying and stalking and grooming are very real dangers.

Your 'cruise ship' has nothing to do with schools or bullying or anything else relevant to the situation. There are thousands of dangerous situations in the real world (not something picked out from your imagination) but they don't all relate to schools.

AbbyHammond

I haven’t said 9 year olds can’t be left. I have said the OP is being cheeky, because she is actually not leaving him; she is expecting the staff to supervise him.

There are some really strange reactions here. At DD's school the gates open at 8:20 and the doors of the school at 8:30, at which time the teachers are on duty and have responsibility for the kids. DD is only 5 so obviously I still wait with her for those ten minutes, but none of the parents of the older kids hang around - most just drop at the gates and run. I can't imagine she'll want me standing there with her, cramping her style, by the time she's 9

There are thousands of dangerous situations in the real world (not something picked out from your imagination) but they don't all relate to schools.

The whole point is that it is irrelevant. As are iPads.

I'd recommend the book Cotton Wool Kids to a lot of posters here. Written by a family psychotherapist.

Another thing I haven’t said.

You said you would help the man even though you were not obligated to do so because he's an adult not a child. You then inferred that it wouldn't be something you would do to a child as their parent should be the one to help them. Ergo they shouldn't be without their parent and if they are you don't need to help them because their parent should have been with them.

There are either lots of naive, or stupid, or people living in naice areas on here.
The only unaccompanied child you'd leave in schools round here would be the bully himself or a hard kid.
Some do have duty supervisor for about 15 mins before, and state you can't leave them unsupervised.
Non will openly agree to allow this for insurance purposes.

Again, not everywhere is the same, doesnt make them naive or stupid thanks very much.

You said you would help the man even though you were not obligated to do so because he's an adult not a child.

I didn’t. You appear to be unable to read my posts correctly. Perhaps I am being unclear. Never mind. Let’s just leave it because we are talking at cross-purposes.

DD won't acknowledge me any more @AppropriateAdult but I still get a kiss from the 7 year old

The whole point is that it is irrelevant. As are iPads.

FFS! Social media and the whole internet is a much bigger threat to kids unsupervised than some ridiculous hanging off a cruise ship nonsense.
If you cant see that then you are either being deliberately goady or really dense.

The whole point is that it is irrelevant.

How can commenting about a child being groomed or bullied etc be irrelevant when you were the one to bring up the possibility.

The Op was only rightly suggesting that in the grand scheme of things her child was much more likely to encounter these problems on the internet than whilst waiting outside his classroom for 10 minutes. You were the one to suggest them as a possible hazard of the Op leaving him alone hence why she raised her very valid point.