Family think I'm bad for leaving child at school 10mins before door opens

[pointbla]

I take my year 4 child early 10 mins before the school doors open and leave him there. I have another child to take to another school. He's 9 , I see no problem with it , other children are there too. Also, I don't regularly do that just occasionally.
My family seem to think this is very bad and I am putting my child at risk as the kids mess about. AIBU?

Wrong copy and paste 🤦‍♀️

And the same, I assume, if he got into a fight? Or someone was bullying him? Or someone was targeting him for grooming? Or flashing outside the gates?

Honestly the hysteria and paranoia on this thread is on another level.

As a teacher I would get involved in all of the above situations whether the child's parent was in the playground or not. I would assume other members of the teaching profession would do the same? They wouldn't just turn a blind eye because it was half 8 and the doors didn't open until 8.40.

Nothing to do with turning a blind eye. They are not responsible for the child before the start of school. Usually they wouldn’t have to stop fights before school, as the presence of the parent deters them. Yes, they probably would step in to stop two unaccompanied children fighting, but only because of the vacuum left by the person who is supposed to do it: the parent.

Honestly the hysteria and paranoia on this thread is on another level.

Because those things are unheard of in schools?

You are confusing adults - who are responsible for themselves - with children. Nobody is obligated to help me if I hurt myself. I am obligated to make sure my child is safe.

You are not obligated to make sure anyone else's child is safe.

Yes, playing out is quite normal here too. But not in the school playground as it's only accessible immediately before and after school.

We're lucky they leave the gates open over the summer so the children can use the football pitches and playground.

You are not obligated to make sure anyone else's child is safe.

It’s like you read what I wrote and then said it back to me. I know.

Usually they wouldn’t have to stop fights before school, as the presence of the parent deters them.

Ironically I've only ever had to stop 2 fights before school in my teaching career and both were between parents.

I'm growing more sure that even if the Op came back and had discussed this with the teacher and the teacher had said it was ok to leave her child you would still continue to post that she was cheeky and unreasonable.

I'm growing more sure that even if the Op came back and had discussed this with the teacher and the teacher had said it was ok to leave her child you would still continue to post that she was cheeky and unreasonable.

Nope.

@herculepoirot2 do your children have access to the internet? iPads etc? My 9 year old under no circumstance will be allowed access to these things as grooming and bullying is a big issue. I view this risk much higher than dropping kid occasions 10mins early. The above example of course is my own personal view and I have no issue with other parents

It’s like you read what I wrote and then said it back to me. I know.

No you said you are obligated to make sure your child is safe. I'm just letting you know you are not obligated to make sure anyone else's child is safe. The way you are going on makes it sound as though you feel personally responsible for any child left unsupervised in the playground, your not. HTH.

@herculepoirot2 do your children have access to the internet? iPads etc

What in the name of Jesus does that have to do with whether you are BU?

😂

No you said you are obligated to make sure your child is safe. I'm just letting you know you are not obligated to make sure anyone else's child is safe. The way you are going on makes it sound as though you feel personally responsible for any child left unsupervised in the playground, your not. HTH.

This is utterly arse over tit. I am literally replying to people who have said the opposite to you. Don’t worry - I KNOW I am not responsible for anyone else’s children but my own.

Honestly the hysteria and paranoia on this thread is on another level

Because those things are unheard of in schools?

I'm pretty sure if these things happened in schools, this thread would be full of people shouting about it. So far there's 411 posts and not one person has a horror story to tell.

What in the name of Jesus does that have to do with whether you are BU?

Clearly because a child with access to the internet is at a much greater risk of being bullied or groomed than one standing outside a classroom door for 10 minutes. I thought the point being made was pretty obvious...

Where has anyone said you are?

If someone falls and hurts themselves in a public place and I am able to help, I will.

9 year old, 19 year old, 90 year old - it doesn't matter.

It doesn't mean I am responsible for anyone else.

It doesn't mean I am providing unpaid childcare (or elder care)

It's just being a normal member of society

Odd that some adults find this concept so difficult. Don't you teach your children to assist someone who needs it?

And what would you expect to happen, if something happened to him?

I understand your point. However, as the parent in that situation, I would simply hope that someone would offer assistance if they felt they could. As a parent I don't have any particular expectation of who that would be. In the same way that if my DS fell off his bike on the way to the shop, I don't have an expectation of a specific person who would be responsible for helping him. As someone who is responsible for the children some of the time you, understandably, find it hard to switch off that feeling of responsibility so you feel the weight of parents' expectations when they aren't really there.

Mikado
Exactly!
My kids were at primary for 10 years in all. Small school where everyone knows everyone. In all that time only one child had a broken bone and that happened on holiday!

I hope all the pearl clutchers never take their child on holiday, just in case!
If you cant leave a 9 yr old sitting in a playground/playing with other kids there for 10 whole minutes for fear of a major incident happening there is something far wrong!

The risk of something serious happening is so small its ridiculous to be freaking out about it. How on earth do kids cope playing out on their own with friends without their parents around?

*If someone falls and hurts themselves in a public place and I am able to help, I will.

9 year old, 19 year old, 90 year old - it doesn't matter.

It doesn't mean I am responsible for anyone else.

It doesn't mean I am providing unpaid childcare (or elder care)

It's just being a normal member of society 

Odd that some adults find this concept so difficult. Don't you teach your children to assist someone who needs it?*

This!!!

Clearly because a child with access to the internet is at a much greater risk of being bullied or groomed than one standing outside a classroom door for 10 minutes. I thought the point being made was pretty obvious...

As would a child being dangled headfirst off the front of a cruise ship. It has nothing to do with this.

DontMakeMeShushYou

But the OP has now made it clear that she expects staff to ultimately be responsible for her child; she isn’t just hoping someone will sort him out but accepting that they might not.

"Nobody is obligated to help me if I hurt myself"

But if you broke your leg or knocked yourself out in the playground you'd be unable to help yourself. And if nobody stepped in to help you'd rightly think they were grade a arseholes. You pooh-poohed the idea of obligations in a civil society but we all rely on them like it or not. Whether you are 9 or 43.

Rainonmyguitar

There was someone on page one talking about children needing medical attention, and they were shouted down.

And I know the risks are small. Thank god. But those things do happen.

hercule - if you saw an elderly person fall over and hurt themselves, wouldn't you check they were ok? Offer to call someone for them?

Would you really just shrug and say "tough shit, you're an adult - you're responsible for yourself"?