Family think I'm bad for leaving child at school 10mins before door opens

[pointbla]

I take my year 4 child early 10 mins before the school doors open and leave him there. I have another child to take to another school. He's 9 , I see no problem with it , other children are there too. Also, I don't regularly do that just occasionally.
My family seem to think this is very bad and I am putting my child at risk as the kids mess about. AIBU?

Sometimes I wonder on which planet some MN pretend to live, with kids spending their summer in the street, building dens, climbing trees... yeah right, that totally happens.

Erm yes it does actually. Not everyone lives in cities. The suburbs and rural areas in Scotland are full of children playing outside.

I'm LOL'ing at (yes they do this!) after tree climbing!

Sometimes I wonder on which planet some MN pretend to live, with kids spending their summer in the street, building dens, climbing trees... yeah right, that totally happens

This coming from the poster that says she lives in 'the real world' .

You still haven't explained how you came to the conclusion that children playing outside = feral. You might want to look up the definition of feral.

So that means it can't be true?
Usual mn response if i don't know/experience it it's bollicks.
Not everyone lives where you do primaries round my area are not locked up tight after school. Kids play in the playground all the time.Get over yourself.

What a stupid response.
It was a question (where are these schools?), followed by a statement (because they aren't any of the ones near me).
Really not that hard to read and comprehend.

You know your child best and you will know your school's rules. This would have been fine at my kids primary school.

I think it fine OP every school around here allows kids to be dropped off and left. They actually discourage parents from hanging around. There is usually the school janitor wandering around the playground but nothing more than that supervision wise.

As an aside how do people on here have the time or inclination to be having a 4 hour long argument about something that really doesn't affect their day to day life in any way? . It's mental on here sometimes, I'm just glad I don't know any of these people in real life it must be very hard work.

@DontMakeMeShushYou our school is in Aberdeenshire.

At aged 9 it's fine. Lots of children walk to school on their own at that age.

My kids walked alone to and from school through our village (1/2 mile ish) from Year 4 onwards.

In fact my youngest had to leave the house on his own to do it as i had to drive older ones to their senior school in town who started earlier. I used to set an alarm on his phone to remind him to leave for school.

Thanks Audacity.

The ones near me are in rural West Country villages and small towns. I genuinely don't know of one near me where they school premises, including the playground, are not secured. I'm sure there are some in the UK which can be freely accessed 24/7, although I'd be very surprised if that applied to a majority of primary schools.

Depends on the school you are not allowed to do this at Dds school, children can't go into the school building or playground at all until staff are on duty supervising. If you left your child in front of school waiting for it to open you would get pulled up on it.

@AudacityOfHope, I'm just repeating what my librarian friend told me. This is how she views it. And I do think the mother would get angry if the staff saw a strange man talking to her daughter and didn't intervene.

p.s. children are not allowed to bring themselves to and from school until year 5 at Dds school too.

Our primary doesn't open the gates untol registration so kids dropped early just have to wait on the pavement

It also meams hundreds of kids plus parents plus younger siblings crowding onto a small stretch of pavement.

Sometimes I wonder on which planet some MN pretend to live, with kids spending their summer in the street, building dens, climbing trees... yeah right, that totally happens

My DD has just turned 9 and plays out in the street after school, at weekends and all summer. We did live in a place when she was younger where this wouldn't have been possible but where we live now all the kids play out the front.

It's normal in the schools here. The kids just hang out in the playground like any other breaktime. So go by whatever your kid's school does.

Yeah I get that @Valanice1989 I just think the assumption that the parent is using the librarian for childcare is unfair. Children are allowed to be in public spaces without a parent. There is no expectation from me that anyone else cares for me child, but I think in any walk of life a sensible person would intervene if they saw a child in a dangerous situation. That's not childcare, it's how civic society should function.

AudacityOfHope

Out of interest, would you say that to someone’s face if they point blank said to you, “Excuse me - who are you expecting to step in if your child gets hurt?” I bet you wouldn’t start bleating about civic society.

...and I don't know why people think that schools are either locked or open 24/7. Schools here tend to open the gates about half an hour before school time, and close them about an hour after school ends. Obviously that's only to the playground area.

My kids walked to school with their friends from 8 years old. Then they chatted in the playground until the bell went. Even the parents who delievered their kids to school didn't hang around until the bell. They just dropped them off.

Och I can't be arsed with your hypothetical nonsense. I'm enjoying the wider discussion, not interested in this nitpicking approach much.

AudacityOfHope

😂 Thought not.

Oh I'm right, you are just being a goady fucker. I knew nobody could be that dim really

AudacityOfHope

How does your refusal to say what you might do add up to me being a GF? You know you wouldn’t say it because you would get laughed off the playground. I have my own kids to supervise. It’s not my job to watch yours, except by prior arrangement.

I'd make it clear that a nine year old who needs help can reasonably ask someone who we consider a safe person. And no, that doesn't constitute childcare. It's how people behave, in that phrase you seem to consider ridiculous, in civic society.

Don't worry, you definitely aren't on the safe person list.

To set the context,
My 9year old child is never left alone, on the streets or even at home so the concept for my family that I do this is abnormal.
There are two school gates. One for the children and one big one for the car park. The big school gate has a member of staff there helping with the traffic/ cars coming in and out of the school car park.
I walk my child to the little school gates for children and watch him walk down to his classroom doors. There is a little bench outside. He is not on the playground.
My family's issue is that when they have taken child earlier than the door opening time which is 8.40am , some of the kids are going on the playground , chasing each other and they feel it's an accident waiting to happen.
Up until a couple of months ago I used to wait with my 9 year old and what I observed was normal kid behaviour, no messing about to the point where someone could get seriously hurt, but I do appreciate accidents could happen at any time.
Admittedly, I don't actually know the school policy all I have witnessed is that kids regularly come 10mins early and wait outside and the school hasn't made an issue of this.
In terms of responsibility, I'm not assuming anyone has responsibility for him and it goes on trust and the fact I know he will be sensible. I'm assuming he is responsible for himself. If something did happen , I won't be blaming the school.
School start supervising outside from when the doors open at 8.40.