To think that owning a second home to use as a holiday home is extremely selfish?

[benadrylcucumberpatch]

It would be a different story if there was a surplus of vacant properties . As it stands holiday home owners turn communities into ghost towns, inflate prices in desirable areas (many of which are rural with low wages) and displace people who would live in the property full time.

Aibu to think this is selfish and reprehensible? Why are such people not villified for taking more than they need in such an extreme way?

Ninja. Cross posted there! 😆

@Dorsetdays great minds... You know😁
Anyways. See you elsewhere!

It isn’t easy for someone to train as a doctor either but funnily enough people manage it.

We have a shortage of doctors. We have a shortage of engineers. These are positions that are "fast tracked" for immigration throughout the globe.

And you know why? Only the top % of students will ever be able to achieve success in these fields. You can't take a subject that most people fail out of and prescribe it to the general populace, it just doesn't work like that.

Ginger. That’s why I used it as an example of something that’s hard but which people still manage to achieve.

Honestly, try turning some of your constant negativity into something worthwhile.

Honestly, try turning some of your constant negativity into something worthwhile.

Negativity? I would say it's called empathy for people less fortunate than me. More people here should try it sometime, you never know what the future holds and it's because people had empathy in the past that we have government programs like welfare, NHS, and pensions for people to be taken care of when they cannot do it whether it be due to joblessness, health, or age. You want to keep going down this path of everyone out for themselves and you could end up losing so much that you don't even realise because once you go down that ultra conservative path and lose the things that socialism has brought, the powers that be will never give them back to you.

No it’s really just plain and simple negativity. You can try and dress it up however you want but it’s just that.

It doesn’t matter what any poster suggests you will find a reason why it won’t work, or it’s too hard or it’s not fair.

That’s fine if that’s how you want to live and how you want to raise your DC. It’s certainly not what I want to teach mine.

And no need to worry about me, we’ll be fine thanks because we’ve been prudent, worked our backsides off and have a big enough safety net to fall back on should anything happen to us.

There are hurdles to be overcome to get where you aspire to be in life.
If you can't commute - move nearer to work. If there is no work in your town, move to another. If your skills are limited, retrain or study to improve.
Sure - it will mean leaving the familiar, moving from family and friends, enduring the stress of study and retraining, leaving childbearing til later in life, make do with second hand til you can buy first hand etc etc.
No - it's not easy. Tough choices, hard graft and sacrifices.

But they are choices - choose the ones you prefer - but never begrudge the success of others or assume they had it 'handed on a plate'. Nor would I assume all those who appear to be struggling are victims of anything other than their own life choices.

There is genuine poverty and real obscene extravagance - but there is lots in between both those extremes.

No it’s really just plain and simple negativity. You can try and dress it up however you want but it’s just that.

If you want to accuse me of that, I could do the same and accuse you of being cold and selfish. But I won't. You know why? It's childish to insult someone because you don't agree.

I already said it's wrong to penalise people who work hard. I think they should be rewarded but I have seen a lot of people struggle, and I come from a country with nearly no safety net but is taxed and charged at higher rates just like the rest of the western world (the US). That money goes to the military, and the military industrial complex who profit off wars waged on shady grounds. I know the British are headed down the same path, especially with Brexit around the corner and I'm here, so I see the leaders pandering to Trump. I know the UK is going to become mini America. But I hope the British aren't dumb enough to fall for the same lies that the Americans fall for, then lose everything they have through socialism. You guys had amazing things, like social housing but that's gone now, pretty soon the NHS is on its way out, and who knows what's next. Don't fall for this trap of blaming the poor for being poor, it will only end up screwing everyone that has to pay more ££££ for worse outcomes.

Not sure anyone’s blaming the poor for being poor, you’ve misinterpreted that. What I, and many other people are saying is that there are options.

However, if all people hear is ‘you can’t’ that’s what they start to believe. Instead of shutting down every suggestion, it might be better to embrace some of those ideas and to be open to opportunity because that’s how you effect change.

The difference also is that I really don’t care if you call me selfish. Because when selfish means I put my family first, ensure our retirement is funded properly and work hard to achieve that, I’m fine it.

@Dorsetdays, you and your mate have blamed people for being poor for the entirety of this thread. You’ve both consistently accused them of making excuses and claimed anyone can do anything with the famous “hard work”. Neither of you have a clue, sitting smugly in your ivory towers.

I agree. If you say someone has an option about something it means they’ve made a choice between the options. If you say they have chosen not to improve their circumstances then you are saying they are deliberately poor.
But again because you realise that’s not a palatable belief you deny that’s what you really think.
I think most people hate being poor by the way. It’s horrible.

Most people in the UK don't blame people for starting poor, but there's increasing resistance to the idea of subsidising them to stay poor, or to make poor life choices. I completely understand that adult education services have been starved of resources but most of us can, with effort and a bit of luck, do better. Unless you start with the view that you need someone to lead you by the hand through your whole life...

Grow up, get real, take responsibility for your life and own it. You may never be a millionaire, but your life is going to improve if you choose the path you take instead of being the victim.

The elephant in the room here, which I’ve been trying really hard not to mention, is intelligence. There are some people who simply aren’t bright enough to do any but the most basic of jobs.

Neither of you have a clue, sitting smugly in your ivory towers.

No one has blamed anyone, but replied to your accusations of selfishness, entitlement, destroying communities and so on

Ivory Towers? you haven't got a slightest clue yourself. It's a bit rich to paint people who have done a bit better than you to have been born with a trust fund and to have had everything handed out to them.

You can't start looking down at people and expect them not to reply, and maybe point out a few truths along the way if it makes you react so bitterly (you, or the other bonkers poster, whoever that was).

It's not blaming anyone to remark that bitterness and anger is the easy way to avoid facing reality sometimes. No, it's not "easy" for everybody else, so where does this leave you?

I would love a second home. My ideal life would be to leave in the UK in summer and first week of the autumn (love seeing the changing leaves) and live somewhere else the rest of the year. Oh and Christmas in the UK.

It leaves me in the same position as the smug among you. Life has treated me very kindly, my financial position is comfortable, we could buy a holiday home if we wanted one but we don’t. Difference is I have a degree of empathy, my privilege doesn’t make me complacent or blind to the issues people less fortunate than me face.

Never mention intelligence here AlsoHuman. Most of MN prefers to avoid the topic.

you and your mate. Do grow up

I’ve never blamed people for being poor. Just you for making constant excuses.

You really have blamed people for being poor. If you really believe you haven’t, I suggest you reread all your posts. The evidence is there in black and white.

The elephant in the room here, which I’ve been trying really hard not to mention, is intelligence. There are some people who simply aren’t bright enough to do any but the most basic of jobs

You don’t have to be too bright. You just work a nmw job then in the evenings and weekends you work a couple of more nmw jobs. Cut your expenditure to the bone and sell anything you don’t use

It all adds up.

You really don’t need to be even reasonably bright just willing to put the work in

Look at the education threads if you need evidence. On those, if you send your child into paid for education you are ensuring privilege for the well breeched dull-witted scions of the gentry. In fact, most of the people paying for private education (the ones who aren't Asian/Russian plutarchs and there are some of them) are just country doctors, vets, solicitors, accountants, good builders, teachers and small town toffs who understand that education is the one thing that can't be taxed or taken away, and that character can and should be taught and modelled.

And if you live near me, in a very rural area with huge catchments, then you will get a wider ability spread than you will in central Winchester, so your local comprehensive is likely to be "better" than ours on results.

Money allows people to do as they wish, they develop a certain arrogance towards others.

It's the three "wants" isn't it.....
What I Want
When I Want
and by far the worst...... If I Want

The only thing money cannot control is Fate - sadly its only when fate comes along and gives these self entitled people a smack they realise what's really important.....and it ain't a 2nd home.

Well I've spent a fair bit of time on this thread talking about property, money, care for the elderly and what we hope for.

My husband died suddenly earlier this evening. He was in the kitchen, went to sit on a chair but fell on floor and couldn't get up. I tried hard to get him up, our son came over (thank goodness he was in England), called an ambulance then John said he felt weird and went unconscious. We tried CPR and the paramedics tried for a long time to no avail, he was in cardiac arrest. He hadn't felt well for a couple of days.

You never know what is round the corner. I said that in one of my posts.

I'll probably be offline for a while.

Thanks for 'listening'.

The elephant in the room here, which I’ve been trying really hard not to mention, is intelligence. There are some people who simply aren’t bright enough to do any but the most basic of jobs.

This is true. Surely those here who feel they are the sole contributed to their own success can admit that they were lucky to be born with a level of intelligence that enables them to get a good career