Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how do you work full time with kids and NOT get knackered by midweek!

112 replies

OhThisLife · 17/07/2019 07:21

I've just started working ft. Thank fuck it's only temporary. I'm in my 7th week and I can feel myself getting more and more tired earlier in the week.

I do have 3 kids- including a one year old who's still waking in the night but damn it - there's loads of mothers in the same position- how do you do it!

I can barely do anything in the evenings bar the odd bits of laundry etc.

OP posts:
TakeOneForTheBreem · 17/07/2019 07:22

Do you have a partner?

A partner who does their share helps massively.

itsboiledeggsagain · 17/07/2019 07:24

It's knackering.
Sorry op.
Go to bed very early on Wednesdays and maybe another day.
Take easy options - meal plan, eat a lot of baked potatoes

Heulog · 17/07/2019 07:26

I work 31hrs (so not really full time). But it's still difficult. Health and wellbeing takes priority over housework, and I don't feel bad about putting myself to bed as soon as the children are asleep now and again.

daisypond · 17/07/2019 07:27

I work full time with a long commute. I don’t do anything in the evenings apart from make and eat tea. I get in from work at 7pm and need to go to bed by about 8. 30. All chores are left to my days off.

Original poster
OhThisLife · 17/07/2019 07:28

Yes I have a dh- he does all the cooking, shopping, and alot of the cleaning as he is working pt at the moment.

But I do so little even though I'm working ft. So many evenings I do nothing! If I was a single parent my kids would surely starve to death. Is it really like this for most people! I was worried there's something wrong with me!

OP posts:
Original poster
OhThisLife · 17/07/2019 07:28

Oops name fail ;

OP posts:
ColouringPencils · 17/07/2019 07:30

Yep it is exhausting. Monday and Tuesday I am fine, Wednesday is the hard one. I usually make something very simple for dinner. I work from home on a Friday, so even Thursday is beginning to feel like the end of the week.
I go to bed early and usually get about 8 hours sleep - that really helps. Don't usually drink during the week. Do minimum housework (although that does leave it to the weekend). DH does school pick up two days a week and will make dinner etc on those days.

Anotherusefulname · 17/07/2019 07:30

I am only out of the house 7:45 to 4:15 as I am a TA but I could barely get out of bed.
I have been back at work 4 years and it hasn't got easier.
To manage we share household jobs( he does the laundry, I do the cooking who ever is least knackered that night tidies up) I meal plan and I am in bed by 10. We don't get an evening together anymore as 13 year old goes to bed same time as me now.

prettyretro · 17/07/2019 07:47

It's very very hard. Me and DP both work full time roughly 8-5 and I usually bring work home to do when kids are in bed.

2 DC are 6 and 3. I picked them up from my mums and it's homework for DS1 while DS2 plays with a Jigsaw or something. DP cooks dinner. We eat together every night at the table and talk about our days.

Me and DS1 do the dishes while DP and DS2 take the rubbish out and clean the table. Kids go upstairs to play with toys/ out the back to play. I quickly wipe down the kitchen, hoover and get a wash on. Then we play together - outside or a board game.

Start wind down about 7....tidy up together, jammies on etc. Controversial to some but then they get a half hour iPad time...that lets me do something that I'd need to do that didn't interrupt playing time - change the beds, clean the bathroom, iron etc

Then it's story and bed for them. If anything desperately needed done around the house I'd do it then, if not then I either do some work or me and DP chill on the couch.

He also does bedtimes twice a week and I go to yoga for a bit of sanity time!

LittlePickleHead · 17/07/2019 07:54

Prettyretro sounds like you have lovely evening times - an early finish and (I presume?) short commute must really help. I finish at 5 but by the time I've got back, collected the kids from after school club and then got home it's about 6.40.

Only leaves time for snack and reading for younger (6) before bedtime routine starts. By the time he's finally down (8 or at the moment even later!) I then need to help eldest (10) with homework for music practice. By the time that's done it's 9. I've given to not eating in the evenings when DH is away as it's so late.

V flexible working and being able to wfh when needed massively helps, but yes, it's exhausting!

Jebuschristchocolatebar · 17/07/2019 07:58

You never stop being tired. I work full time and my dh does as well. I’m permanently exhausted. I am very organized though so I tend not to have very stressful evenings of running around doing things.

Jeremybearimybaby · 17/07/2019 07:59

DH does his fair share of chores, as do the DC.
I have a very short commute, but work in a demanding environment. I'm always knackered by Thursday, and use my weekends to recharge. I guard my down time.

myself2020 · 17/07/2019 08:00

its hard, really hard. both of mine are terrible sleepers as well, i get woken up at least once per night, and they wake up at 5. but i have to, so I get on with it

Whatsername7 · 17/07/2019 08:00

Im a teacher and so is dh so knowing there will be regular breaks is what saves me. There are times when it is a cycle of work, pick kids up, feed/bath/bed then laptops out until 10 and I feel like Im drowning. However, the holidays are brilliant and whilst I do still have to do planning and prep work, the pace is slower.

myself2020 · 17/07/2019 08:04

Agree with others, being organised is essential. i always have the next size of shoes and clothes ready, a stash of birthday presents and cards for parties, shopping gets delivered, ...

Original poster
OhThisLife · 17/07/2019 08:14

So we're all in a permanent state of being knackered?! Wtf!

prettyretro you may be tired but you cram a lot in at home in the evenings. So many days I can't even do bedtime reading with the kids- I feel like such a shit mum.

OP posts:
eurochick · 17/07/2019 08:27

If there's a secret I wish I knew what it was! I went back full time when my daughter was 6 months. I've been knackered ever since! It's the relentlessness that gets me. My day is childcare-commute-work-commute-childcare. Then it's dinner and chores (necessary stuff, like unloading the dishwasher) which takes us until around 9pm. We then collapse in front of the tv and I try to do 15 mins or so of yoga before bed and then the cycle starts again. It's marginally easier now my daughter is in school and past the toddler stage but it's still exhausting.

prettyretro · 17/07/2019 08:28

@OhThisLife my 2 are a bit older than yours and I don't have a 1 year old! They can play together themselves for a bit while I can run around! I find the trick is to come in and start straight away cause if I had to sit down I wouldn't get back up again! 😂😂

Btw I hope I didn't come across like "look what we do" was just trying to give an example of a night that's all.

myself2020 · 17/07/2019 08:32

@prettyretro not sitting down is essential i agree. i leave the house with the kids at 7:10, back around 6pm. chores and work until 9:30pm, and from 5:30 am. my „sit down“ times are my commute (into central london, so usually on a train floor)

timeisnotaline · 17/07/2019 08:36

It’s exhausting! We need more organisation but we are planning an international house move so lots to do in the evening...

coffeeforone · 17/07/2019 08:38

OP I have a 10 month old and a 3 year old and we both work full time. I have a long commute so I'm out from 7 til 7. I spend an hour with the kids when I get home then have a very easy dinner about 8.30, no expectations to do anything other than tidy the kitchen on a weekday evening.
If I happen to have the energy i will do some laundry but generally much lower standards re a clean and tidy home!

DH will not help with anything other than the very bare essentials during the week (bedtime and dinner), as he insists everything else can wait until the weekend. I've basically come round to that way of thinking too.

We also had to sleep train the 10 month old recently as the night waking was simply not sustainable for us.

TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan · 17/07/2019 08:41

I go back full time in October, we will be getting our cleaner back (couldn't justify the cost while I'm on mat leave) £25 a week means relaxing or doing fun things at the weekend not cleaning, which makes the weeks more bearable

SlackerMum1 · 17/07/2019 08:49

Cleaner, everything off amazon or Ocado, a DH that pulls their weight, working from home on a Friday is a massive help and wine, did I mention wine?

But really the sound track to my life is ‘I’m so tired, I’m so tired, now a bit guilty (just to change things up..)..... and back to I’m so tired...’ Although I had a three hour middle of the night tussle with a toddler last night so it’s a bit worse than usual 😩

prettyretro · 17/07/2019 08:53

Haha! I forgot to say the most important part that @SlackerMum1 mentioned....definitely wine! 😂😂

HulksPurplePanties · 17/07/2019 08:54

I'm never not knackered.

Up at 5:45, out the door at 6:30, 45 minute commute, get to work at 7:30, leave at 3:30 (I'm very lucky there), home by 4:30, to the gym till 6:00, make dinner, eat, do reading with the kids, go to bed.

Luckily DH is a SAHD so does the cleaning and school run/child care. The only thing he doesn't do is dinner ( I love cooking).

It never ends.

Swipe left for the next trending thread