To ask how do you work full time with kids and NOT get knackered by midweek!

[OhThisLife]

I've just started working ft. Thank fuck it's only temporary. I'm in my 7th week and I can feel myself getting more and more tired earlier in the week.

I do have 3 kids- including a one year old who's still waking in the night but damn it - there's loads of mothers in the same position- how do you do it!

I can barely do anything in the evenings bar the odd bits of laundry etc.

Oh plus OP I've just realised you have a 1 year old still not sleeping through... fuck me I couldn't have coped with working full time then, I was down to 3 days a week at that point,I'm not surprised you're tired.

In fact I don't know anyone with children that young (plus 2 more of them to boot) that works full time. Maybe it's not as common as you think ?
Sod the housework, just do what you need to do to get by and be kind to yourself

I have a bit of an unusual set up, people always comment that I must be knackard all the time but reading these I think I have it easy! (I'm still shattered but it's my own fault..)
Me and dds dad are separated, I work full time but it is condensed into 2.5 full days (and nights) per week, so I 'live' at work for a third of the week when dd is with her dad, ill drop her off at nursery, go directly to work then after the 2.5 days are over I'll go straight to pick her back up.
I live alone so running the home is down to me 100% but I don't really mind that.
It's the lack of sleep that kills me, over time..
If I could just go to sleep earlier I would be fine but I seem to spend the whole day being tired then come bed time I'm wide awake 🙄 I don't really do anything on an evening once dd is in bed at 8pm, apart from maybe an hour of house work/sorting things for the next day but after that the evenings mine, I would love to be able to go to sleep at say 9pm, then wake up at 6am fresh and ready to start the day but atm i cant get to sleep till around 1am and then I'm up at 7am and feel so tired most of the time.
I know some people will be reading thinking "but 6 hours is loads!!" But I need more of a 8-9hr sleep to feel myself and over the months/years it takes its toll.. why the feck can't I just go to sleep at a normal time!? 😩

OP, Bear in mind that posters will have different types of jobs and different lengths/difficulty of commute which do or don't incorporate picking up children on the way to work/home. Some will also work flexi-time. Some will have longer holidays. Some have more support (whether that be a cleaner, grandparents on hand, friends) in the evenings and weekends and in school holidays so that you can re-charge a little. Everyone has different working arrangements and demands made of them, even within "I work full time".

In short, you can't compare your situation with anyone else's and think that you come up short in comparison to them.

Be kind to yourself and do what you need to do to get by. I've realised over time that I can't be expected to do a good or very good or excellent job of everything. As long as I am doing a reasonable job, I am doing enough for the time being. must remember this

I work full time, so does dp. one autistic daughter, what helps is sleep! I'm off work today so I'm going back to bed for a few hours while she's at school .

It's ok pettyretro I didn't think you were asking me to justify myself! Just thought I should mention that DH gets his me time too.

Honestly, when the kids were babies I didn't do this. It's easier now they are 6&7 because they don't need me or Dh as much.

Also helps that I'm in an industry that enforces 8 hour shifts ( for safety reasons we aren't supposed to do too much overtime and get too tired).

It took us 7 years but we've got a decent rhythm going! I'm still exhausted though. It's 5 am wake ups during the school year and I am not an early riser by nature!

Let the house go to hell in the week and spend the weekend washing and cleaning.

gosh, that wouldn't be my advice. I need my weekends off, life is too short! WHEN do you ever enjoy yourself if you work all week clean all weekend! It would be like spending all your annual leave deep cleaning and doing DIY.

It’s tiring, but not so tiring I can’t do anything in the evenings. My kids are older, so I’m normally running them to and from clubs until after 9, I lifeguard one evening a week and do an activity myself on another evening.

As I said though, my kids are older and my sleep is not disturbed. I also don’t have to get up until around 7am, if I was up earlier I think it would kill me.

Op thanks for starting this thread. I've found the responses really interesting but the one thing we all have in common is...we're all shattered so don't think you're doing a bad job.

My example was based now but I went back to work full time when my DS1 was 3 and DS2 was 11 weeks. I had a shit maternity package and had just split from my husband who left us high and dry. Did I do all the house work, cook healthy meals and exercise?! Did I chuff! I survived and barely at that!

I honestly probably wouldn't have survived without my mum to be honest.

All I'm trying to get across is that it does get "slightly" easier when they sleep through the night (DS2 didn't until his third birthday!) and they don't need you there all the time as much. A Lego challenge is a god send these days lol

Please don't think you're a rubbish mum - the kids won't remember the clean house or the washing basket being empty, they'll remember their favourite story you read them or their favourite song you danced to (around the piles of clutter) in the living room.

Go easy on yourself x

good grief, I already find that 5 days in/ 2 days off is a pretty poor balance, no way would I spend my weekends doing anything other than the bare minimum (we still need to eat )
weekends are for days out, having friends around, being a taxi, real time off.

That's why I do all the chores first thing in the morning, then it's done and we have some kind of life in the evening sometimes.

totally wrong thread, I have of course reported my post...

I was on my own with 1 from 18 months. Working 4 days a week. Actually it was easier than when I was with his dad as he was just more work. It was exhausting. His dad had him a few hours every weekend, when I would get some stuff done, and get food in. We mostly lived in filth because cleaning was so far down the list of priorities. Basic kitchen and bathroom hygiene at best. From 3, he had sleepovers at his dad, but that stopped at 6 because his dad is a fucking alkie.

It gets a lot easier at secondary when they can move themselves around and be given actual jobs like putting the bins out.

I do not know how single parents cope with a job plus multiple kids though. My son is a little angel, kids with health or behavioural stuff is a whole other dimension of wtf.

I have a 4 year old dd and we both work full time. We are doing OK I think although there's times when we both just flop and can't move

We plan who's doing what for the week on a Friday night and then meal plan for pack ups and dinners.

All shopping is done on a sat morning in between dds hobbies and there's a designated snack shelf so nothing gets inadvertently eaten.

Most evenings we spend time with dd, eat together and do an activity before bed time routine starts. We then split the duties one does bath story bed etc and the other does lunch boxes, dishwasher and tidies the kitchen.

15 mins blitz then of what needs sound so mopping, vacuum etc each evening and we're done for 730

1 load of laundry perday

I have a dh who shares the load equally (including doing the school runs, all homework, cooking dinner, putting the wash on, packing up school bags, etc.) 2-3 days a week when I work my long days. I do the same the other 2-3 days. So it's never always me running around doing it all.

I don't find working full time hard. Actually, I think it's much less exhausting than being home with children! But I am exhausted because I work long days with a long commute - 6 hours a day 3 days a week that I'm in the office (so I spend 18 hours a week just travelling to work and back). That is tough. If my work was 15 minutes from home though, it would be a breeze.

The only thing I do find exhausting and annoying is meal planning and food shopping. I'm the one who cares about food and who packs food to take to work (I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at work on my in office days), so really I have to do it or else dh wouldn't know what to get me. I hate it and I find that really stressful and draining! If I could hire a PA just to do my meal planning and food shopping, I would.

I don't have kids yet and I'm still knackered by Wednesday....not sure what that says about me

I live on my own without kids (grown up DS) and am totally fucked by Tuesday.

1. 50/50 with husband
2. cleaner
3. online shop
4. enough clothes to leave laundry to the weekend
5. Kids eating at day care.

Routine is the savior.

• Get into the routine of having certain things done the day/evening before you need it done.
• Get into the routine of getting to bed early enough.
• Get into the routine of saying 'no' to doing things for/with people if it's going to fuck up the week.
• Get the kids into the routine of doing some things for themselves and knowing you have to stick to plans.
• Some weekends get totally pissed and forget the whole routine crap for a few hours

I find the following helps-
Our kids eat all meals at either childcare or school during the week. We do toast before bed.
One swim lesson per week ideally booked for Mon Tue or Wed as by Thur I am shattered.
One of us does bath and bed the other cooks for us.
We do laundry on a Saturday.
We vaguely tidy as we go (dishwasher does the dishes) but I have very low mid week standards.
I go to bed at nine, try to be asleep for ten, then wake at 6.30/7. Leave the house at 7.50.

I don't know, I never managed it. Was knackered working fulltime without kids but had a cleaner then (those were the days).

I work about 20 hours a week and sometimes more...when it gets near 30 hours, I am unbearably tired and cranky. I do all the house stuff too tho. And the nights with the kids.

@madcatladyforever

it is exhausting and I don't think it gets easier, when my DD was 4 and DS 3months i worked full time, had a childminder and went to college x 3 evening a week! i used to pick kids up from CM, drop them home, wait for DH, hand them over however far we had got with dinner / baths etc then head off to college until 9.30pm. I did that for a year. Now my DC are older and I work around 50h PW - nothing has changed! I am wishing my life away, looking forward to retirement in 25 years.

We are all in this together... I have a fab DH and kids that are helpful too.

It is really knackering!
I only do 30 hours across 4 days but still tiring. I'm lucky that work do let me do 2 days a week from home; I don't know if home working is something that's possible for you at all? I have a 2 hour commute each way on the other 2 days. To be honest I never feel any less tired, it's not like weekends with a one year old are restful!! I'm a single parent. I'm hoping that I'll just get used to it!

I feel your pain. We have a cleaner and another lady does our ironing. Makes a massive difference!!!