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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how do you work full time with kids and NOT get knackered by midweek!

112 replies

OhThisLife · 17/07/2019 07:21

I've just started working ft. Thank fuck it's only temporary. I'm in my 7th week and I can feel myself getting more and more tired earlier in the week.

I do have 3 kids- including a one year old who's still waking in the night but damn it - there's loads of mothers in the same position- how do you do it!

I can barely do anything in the evenings bar the odd bits of laundry etc.

OP posts:
Jojobears · 17/07/2019 18:53

Oh and I batch cook at the weekend

maddiemookins16mum · 17/07/2019 18:56

It’s only really hard when they’re little. It’s still hard when their older but not as hard.

User7777 · 17/07/2019 18:56

Full time and single mum here! I basically burn the candles at both ends and live in a pig sty 😂

Kneehighinshit · 17/07/2019 18:58

I am so pleased you started this thread OP. It's nice to know we're not alone. I'm working full time with a horrible commute at the moment. I just seem to be really short tempered with my kids all the time. Tiredness doesn't help.
My tips...
-Quick load of washing on in the morning and dishwasher on before leaving the house. I don't always remember but am so happy when I do
-Get the kids to take responsibility with putting clothes away- tidying up when old enough.
-Meal plan with quick dinners for later half of the week.
-I find I spend more money online shopping so schedule in a quick trip once a week on way home from picking up kids (takes 20 minutes in Aldi but almost an hour in Sainsbury's!)

  • No shame in a few early nights each week. Do what you've got to do to get through!
  • I find music really motivating, the house can be straightened up in 10 minutes if we all pitch in and have a good tune on. Or I can stick on a kids meditation track at bedtime and fold laundry.
  • coffee, coffee and more coffee
WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 17/07/2019 19:04

EnoughLifeLessons
I would recommend exercising - if you are a fitness instructor doing 10 classes a day, forget that Grin

before kids I felt a lot more tired if I was doing nothing and staying home than when I was at the gym or other nearly every night.

I still like to exercise, but I have to put my kids first nowadays.

TwistyTop · 17/07/2019 22:26

The thing I always try to remind myself of is how bad it is for your health to sit down. It's a small positive but it's true

Moomin12345 · 17/07/2019 22:28

I'd imagine it's exhausting. I don't believe in working full time and raising children (well, maybe if you have a live-in nanny...).

ethelfleda · 17/07/2019 22:29

It’s very difficult OP.
I employed a cleaner for one.
I’m bloody good at easy and healthy meals.
I need more sleep. MUCH more sleep.
Plus more Wine

ethelfleda · 17/07/2019 22:31

P.s. my little one still doesn’t sleep through and he is nearly two. He likes to wake up before 5am most mornings.
Cheers to us Wine Smile

ADogRocketShip · 17/07/2019 22:34

You just get on with it I think. We both work ft and I have a long commute too. I leave work at 7pm and home by 8:30pm - literally only have time to make and eat dinner then off to bed! I try and wake up early to get in a workout or run otherwise I have no time to squeeze it in anywhere in the day or evening. Wednesday is the worst day for tiredness for me, so we treat ourselves to takeaway that night each week to help us get over the hump. I find Thursday and Friday plain sailing as the weekend is in sight.

Most housework is left until weekend (all the washing, hoovering, bathrooms) and we just do dishwasher and quick tidy up in the week and make beds etc.

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 17/07/2019 22:35

I don't believe in working full time and raising children

Grin Grin Grin

well some of us believe in paying the bills

ethelfleda · 17/07/2019 22:38

Ahh to be fair though, I don’t believe in working full time and raising children.
I still fucking do it though Grin

fedup21 · 17/07/2019 22:42

don't believe in working full time and raising children

How lovely for you.

chubbychipmonk · 17/07/2019 22:46

Work 40 hours a week.

Single parent to 2 DS age 6 & 9

Up dressed & out the house by 7.15 every day & home for 4.30pm.
After school clubs nearly every day between them both.

I literally never sit down before 9pm. My house is always immaculate however (can't justify the money on a cleaner) & im the most organised person I know. . . But yes, I am bloody knackered pretty much 99% of the time! Confused

CharlesLeeRay · 17/07/2019 22:47

I work part time as a single parent and I'm okay but I start a full time course in September. I am also getting a cleaner so that will help massively!

Moomin12345 · 17/07/2019 22:51

Before you assume I live the lifestyle of the Royalty - I choose not to have kids because I don't have a DH earning buckets of money and I know I couldn't live a happy well-rested life if I had them. I make much more money than DH, I need 8h of sleep to function and my well-being is more important to me than a child's smile. I know, it's sad selfish etc etc.

prettyretro · 17/07/2019 22:54

@Moomin12345

I'd imagine it's exhausting. I don't believe in working full time and raising children (well, maybe if you have a live-in nanny...).

If I had to type the reply to this that I really want to then I'd be banned from Mumsnet for life.

You are a horrible person.

prettyretro · 17/07/2019 22:57

@Moomin12345

Before you assume I live the lifestyle of the Royalty - I choose not to have kids because I don't have a DH earning buckets of money and I know I couldn't live a happy well-rested life if I had them. I make much more money than DH, I need 8h of sleep to function and my well-being is more important to me than a child's smile. I know, it's sad selfish etc etc.

So you thought you'd come on a thread where full time working parents and single parents are and get your two cents in when you don't understand the pressures....

Wonderful....

Moomin12345 · 17/07/2019 22:58

@prettyretro do say. I'd love to hear why choosing not to endure years of sleepless nights whilst working full-time is so vile. It's a choice, just as having kids is.

Moomin12345 · 17/07/2019 23:00

@prettyretro I came here to learn about the pressures. It's a bit better than just having a few kids first and then considering how they might change things forever.

PseuDenim · 17/07/2019 23:04

Single mum, reception aged child, big house in Zone 3, full time senior role. House is mostly a tip but have an incredible cleaner once a week. Outsource the ironing, online food shops. Out maybe two evenings a week, other evening in bed and try to be asleep by 10!

prettyretro · 17/07/2019 23:09

@Moomin12345

Please tell me one comment on here where you've read it is "vile"

It is a choice that all of us have made and many of us have sacrificed a great deal for because we want to work and want to parent. I want to show my children a good example that I can get up, go to work, come home, cook and keep a clean house and we have fun....all while we work...incredible isn't it!

If you are seriously considering that 8 hours sleep is more important to you a night than having children and all the amazing milestones that come with that and think about that and then come back to MUMSnet...

msmith501 · 17/07/2019 23:10

Lovely cartoon - zooming to read the text. Priceless.

To ask how do you work full time with kids and NOT get knackered by midweek!
Moomin12345 · 17/07/2019 23:27

I honestly can't function on little sleep. I wish I were like Margaret Thatcher (just because she supposedly needed 4h of sleep, although it's hard to believe and long-term sleep deprivation may be linked to dementia). I think the society is broken. Women fought for equality in the workplace and ended up doing two full time jobs as a result. Few people can have a nice comfortable lifestyle with only one person working. I'd be unhappy if I had children, hardly ever saw them because of work /commute and was always knackered. To be honest, by now we should have a shorter working week and higher productivity thanks to the digitalization, but it's not going to happen. I'll end this rant here. It's not meant to attack parents, but I concede defeat against the relentless demands of the modern society. I simply can't have it all. If I had been born wealthy, I'd love to have a couple of children - with no money worries and plenty of help.

prettyretro · 17/07/2019 23:40

@Moomin12345

Again, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree. Being a mum to me isn't a job, it's a choice.

Yes we fought for our place in the workplace and I work bloody hard for my place. I didn't fight to be a mum, I chose that and wouldn't change it and don't see it as my job. I don't see being a female and being a mum as a disadvantage to working full time and being a parent.

I'm in a very well paid job by societies standards so it my DP (not my children's father if that makes a difference)

If we cut back on our "luxuries" we might be able to afford a nanny but I don't want to live that close to the bread line nor would I want a nanny...and that's no offence to anyone that has one...just my personal preference. My mum watches my children...I pay my mum to do so (she doesn't want it but there is money put into an account every month equivalent to a child minder that will make sure when she "retires" she is comfortable).

Society and being a female doesn't put pressure on me to be employed full time and be a mum. I choose to do both of my own free will.