...to wonder whether my daughter (aged 8) will EVER love reading?

[NetflixandWill]

It's a daily battle to get DD (aged 8) to read.

Her friends have long been reading for pleasure, but she just doesn't enjoy it and resists her daily reading for school.

We've tried old classics, new favourites, anything that appeals to her when we visit a bookshop. We've let her pick what she wants at the library. We've watched films and listened to audiobooks and then sought out the books.

As a childhood bookworm and lover of reading now, I despair at the magic she's missing.

I know IABU and I should chill/not make it a source of friction - but AIBU to ask you to share stories of your own reading-haters who eventually learnt to love books? (And at what age?)

One of my daughters was the same. Until I left the secret diary of Adrien Mole on a shelf next to the loo. I said nothing and found it on her bedside table, I was absolutely delighted. She had a short attention span and just liked the easy to read snippets. Next were the horrible history books, left by the loo and again I said nothing. Soon I found she'd taken them to bed.
She is now training to be an English teacher. Although I get that it's different for younger kids now given the screen time.

She may change her mind and enjoy it or she may not. I and one of my DCs love it whereas the other hates it. All are academic so it don't see that it matters that much. They are not missing out on it if they don't enjoy it in the first place. They will probably enjoy things that you don't enjoy so would it be reasonable for them to "despair" on the fact you are missing out? I can think of better things to despair of than someone who doesn't love reading. So yes, chill out and stop being dramatic about it.

I have just realised I have aphantasia!!

I love reading and getting into a story but I can't visualise what I'm reading. For me it's more about feelings and connection to characters. It's why I'm still at 29 drawn to young adult novels or thrillers etc just easy reading with emotions.
I can't ready fantasy or historical books eg Pride and Prejudice because they just confuse and bore me.

Totally back down on it and don't push it or mention it.

Try the ottoline series of books. Very short text on each page, stunning illustrations, little pull out things good unusual story.

I'd casually say, blah sent me these they look like comics in book form and leave by bed.

I have one tremendous reader, and one whose also struggling, doesn't like story cds as much and it all adds up.

Going very gently with it.

I agree with a lot of what's been said on here. I absolutely love reading, it feels as important to me as breathing! My mother and siblings and uncles and grandmother, all loved to read too.

My brother just isn't interested in reading and never has, he also learned to read late because he didn't want to actually read anything, he is an intelligent, interesting man who just doesn't read now.

My Dp generally doesn't read, he has read for pleasure obviously, he has a few authors he likes and only really likes horror as the genre. I don't think Iv seen him finish a book in our whole relationship but he has other interests. He is crazy about music, loves to create art, he likes films, he's a tremendous cook, he keeps fish, likes to build computers etc plays video games so he keeps his brain stimulated in other ways. Which for some is just fine.

I know for some kids reading just doesn't do it for them until they are seen as old enough to have access to a wider range of genres/topics. I had a schoolfriend who hated reading until she secretly borrowed my horror (James Herbert) books, she then liked reading but the stuff she was allowed to read by her parents was boring to her. So she kept it hidden.

I was lucky that I was basically (with some exceptions) allowed to read anything I wanted, the library also allowed me access to the adult sections when I was really young because I'd outgrown the child's section but told me I was the only child allowed to do that so to not tell the other kids. So I have loved reading all sorts of things from as early as I can remember!

DD1 was 11 discovered the dragon riders books - then it tailed off then school intrioduced a book club idea - she now reads for pleasure.

Audio books helped in mean time - and while I tried graphic novels she only really liked George O'Connor The Olympians series - though the asterix books got a look for a month or two. Overly Sarcastic Productions with Red reviewing books also seemed to help get her interested in some classic books. Kindle that could read some books - also helped for a short time.

She doesn't read as much as I did at her age - but she is reading and that's despite the rocky start to reading she had.

Do you read to her? When you do, just read...no analysis, no comprehension questions, just read and let it be a lovely time together. She will enjoy it because it's snuggle time with mum rather than a high pressure thing. I still read to mine at 11 and 13, and I just read...if they initiate conversation, then so be it, but I try to make it a nice experience for them without expectation.

Just thinking of the books I loved as a child:

The Drina ballet books - about a girl whose mother was (unbeknown to her) a famous ballerina who died tragically. The books are about Drina’s longing to dance against the wishes of her grandmother and how she secretly has lessons.

The Lioness books by Tamora Pierce. She’s written lots of books set in the same world and I loved them all, but the Lioness ones were where I started. They are about a girl who pretends to be a boy so she can become a knight, there are wizards and magic spells too. I loved them.

The Carpet People and other Terry Pratchetts for younger readers.

James Herriott - loved
his vet books.

Joyce Stranger - lots of books about animals. Sheepdogs, guide dogs, horses, foxes, police dogs. Loved them all.

The ponies for Jill books - v horsey and jolly but great fantasy fodder if she’s into ponies. Or Jackie Jumps to the Top - about a girl who buys her favourite riding school pony at auction and keeps her on her dad’s garage plot (handy!) and ends up showjumping for Britain, natch. Or Afraid to Ride - about a girl who regained her riding mojo through a special ’unrideable’ pony (in real life we’d be talking A&E here but suspend the disbelief...)

Enid Blyton? Loved the Famous Five and Mallory Towers books.

The Hobbit?

Thunderhead and The Green Grass of Wyoming books - about a boy on a ranch and the special colt he loves, which ends up being a wild stallion in the mountains.

Redwall - about anthropomorphic mice and another animals who live in an abbey and are beset by evil pirate rats and foxes. Loved them too.

I had so many of my Mum’s old books so loads of these are probably out of print! But you could find them on eBay, I bet.

I was and am a bookworm. Our house is full of books and when the DC were little I read to them every night & we had loads of picture and story books that they'd enjoy, we visited the library and I made it fun & interesting & they both have no interest in reading. DS is dyslexic, which kind of lets him of the hook but DD isn't.

They're both late teens now & I have just had to accept that you can take a horse to water, but if it doesn't want to drink, it doesn't want to drink!!!!

I still read to 11 and 13 yr olds. None of us had read Harry Potter so I thought I’d read the books to them. Even though they’ve never wanted to pick up the books themselves, they’re enjoying them! The 11 yr old has been ushering me to read every evening and the teen has been giving the ‘well if you must’ attitude but enjoying it too.
The head of English in the secondary school told me that it’s difficult to do well in English GCSEs if kids don’t read regularly and boys tend to do less well than girls. He said that reading should be dealt with like any other homework if kids aren’t into reading for pleasure.

My 17 Yr old is the only one in our family who won't entertain picking up a book. Can't imagine her changing tbh

Mine hated being read to. She’s now read a grand sum of maybe 20 books by choice. Probably not even that many and just on holiday

Charles11 both mine got A* in Eng Lit (even the dyslexic one) and they only books they've ever read are the ones they had to read for school. They're not particularly brainy either, they are very average.

I think reading helps, but it clearly isn't essential. Having good vocab, being able to string a sentence together in the right order and knowing how to tackle a GCSE Eng Lit paper is probably going to be significantly more important. Both mine watched endless YouTube videos about their GCSE english books. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure DD ever read An Inspector Calls from cover to cover.

Ive probably got a near identical post on MN from about 2 years ago, and everything you're saying is very familiar to me.

DS1 is now 11yo. I'd read to him multiple times a day since he was a baby. His vocabulary was good, he was very imaginative, and very happy. He always read his school reading book, and participated well at reading in class, but he would only do the bare minimum. I was desperate for him to get into reading for pleasure.

I bought him books, we went to the library, I introduced him to films that he liked (he loves cinema) and then bought him the sequel as a book, so many of the things suggested on here. He accumulated books, but didn't read them.

He does now read for pleasure. What finally got him into reading was DH finding all of his old Narnia series, with inscriptions on the inside cover and the date, so DS knew that these are the books that DH read at his age. The same physical books. Which he then read. And that kick started him. He is not an avid reader now, but he does read every day without me having to remind him. But he doesn't, for example, pick up a book in the middle of the day. He reads in bed before he goes to sleep.

Something that we now do over the summer holidays is to have a time in the day where we all sit down, all of us, and read our books aofr say, 15 minutes. And then have a very informal, casual chat about what is happening in our books. I hope I haven't made that sound very artificial, or a chore. The idea is that we sit down together and relax with our books.

Oh and she’s 20. And I reckon 20 is a high estimate.
I on the other hand, read constantly and when she was growing up would often be reading two books at a time - so she grew up seeing books 🤷🏻‍♀️

My 6 yo DD is similar. She does like those lift the flap non fiction books (Usborne etc) so we've maxed out on those. I've learnt quits a lot from them!

My eldest (10) is like this. Loves the toddler books, will stand and read them in shops, chuckling away at them. But proper books, absolutely no interest what so ever.
Starts books, but never gets past the first few chapters. Its really sad, friends have lent books, I've spent a fortune, we've been to libraries. Weird thing is they are "above" for reading at school.
I give up.

I have always been a total bookworm. DS never got the reading bug. He's 23 now & it's not going to change. He loved audio books & loved Harry Potter but that's it. His reading was always advanced, it's just not his thing.

My ds prefers books like diary of the wimpy kid etc. They look chunky but are actually quite easy to read.

He also loves reading the newspaper and fact books.

He hates anything fantasy related or too dense.

I think he prefers to have his eyes wandering over a page as opposed to reading lines.

I understand where you’re coming from , I was a bookworm , my eldest likes reading - though it took a long time and a lot of reading of reviews and buying of books by me to find fiction that grabbed him . My youngest , same approach , lots of buying of books that I’ve spent ages researching - and I still can’t get him past the Wimpy Kid / multiple storey treehouse level . If there are pictures - we stand a chance , if not no chance.

It was the Lemony Snickey series that finally hooked my daughter. Can't remember what age she was. 9ish maybe