...to wonder whether my daughter (aged 8) will EVER love reading?

[NetflixandWill]

It's a daily battle to get DD (aged 8) to read.

Her friends have long been reading for pleasure, but she just doesn't enjoy it and resists her daily reading for school.

We've tried old classics, new favourites, anything that appeals to her when we visit a bookshop. We've let her pick what she wants at the library. We've watched films and listened to audiobooks and then sought out the books.

As a childhood bookworm and lover of reading now, I despair at the magic she's missing.

I know IABU and I should chill/not make it a source of friction - but AIBU to ask you to share stories of your own reading-haters who eventually learnt to love books? (And at what age?)

@netflixandwill - sorry if it's already been suggested I haven't read the first thread just a few of your replies but of she enjoys digital screens have you tried a kindle? Not one that you can get apps and games on, one purely for reading?
I loved reading at her age, fell out of love with it as a teenager but have spent my twenties reading continuously on my kindle and occasionally a paper back.

This could have been my DD2 a couple of years ago. DD1 was a bookworm from the get go, but DD2 not so much (no SEN, just reluctance).

After 2 years of this strategy, she now reads avidly and will even spend her pocket money on books.

We started to have a family reading hour, where we all just settled down with books, and blankets. DD2 found this a bit hard going at first - took a while to build up to an hour's solid reading.

We stopped suggesting books and let her start with anything she wanted to read. She is a big fan of comic books (Nimona, Tamsin and the Dark, anything in the Phoenix comic),so she read lots of these at first, along with stuff like Tom Gates. Regular trips to the library and let her read old favourites over and over again during reading hour, rather than insisting she try different books.

Harry Potter was the series that really got her engaged, followed by the Who Let The Gods Out series, How to Train Your Dragon, Warrior Cats, Wings of Fire...

These days, she will choose to read outside our family reading hour and is much more open to trying new genres and authors. Recently, she spent a birthday book token on an Alan Garner novel, which she NEVER would have done a couple of years ago.

Ds was nearly 10 before he started to enjoy reading (much to my dismay as I have always been an avid reader). He got into Wimpy Kid and found books he couldn't put down. He's well into the Harry Potter series now. Keep going with different books and she may find something she is suddenly gripped by.

Dd up till the age of seven hated reading and teachers told me she was behind.

I picked up a book for her on world book day randomly to use up world book day gift voucher, I chose a book with a kitten on the cover because she was mad about cats.

Dd at the time was in a bad mood and told me she was not going to read it and I couldn’t make her. I told her it was for me, I loved cats and I wanted to read about ‘clever little kitten’.

Went home and I quietly left the book on her bedside table. Didn't mention it.

A few weeks later she asked if I could buy her the next one in the series. I was so happy I bought her the whole box set.

We’ve not looked back since.

I think she’s got to find her the author who grabs her and then she’ll be hooked.

Also don’t pressure her or demand she read, because then it’s a chore and not something fun she’s choosing to do.

Dd told me the reason she hated reading was because the books at school were boring. She adores reading now and has quite a collection of books, she’s looking forward to reading the animal magic series to her little sister when she’s old enough.

My son although he was a good reader didn't fall in love with books until he was about 10. He always had loads of books right from being a baby & loved being read to but wouldn't sit & look at books on his own. He is 15 now & I can't get his nose out of a book, they have to be about a subject he is interested in, he doesn't read much fiction. Just keep on buying things for your daughter to read, it doesn't have to be books, comics & magazines are a good place to start, watch films of books & then see if she would be interested in reading the book. If she has any special interests, look for books about what she is interested in.

Ah OP you have my utmost sympathy. Spent most of my childhood with my nose in a book. 5DD's here and DD4 drove me to distraction as she absolutely couldn't see the point of reading for pleasure. She read to learn and was academically gifted. Now a doctor but still cannot understand the joy of escaping into a good book and views such activity as a waste of time. I tried everything including reading to her every night far beyond the usual age for bedtime stories! Sorry but if she doesn't get it nothing you do will change that but honestly at eight there's still time.

I agree with SignOnTheWindow that it is part of the daily routine.

Personally I hate brushing my teeth (hate the sensation) but do it religiously twice a day because it is part of the daily routine (and obviously completely disgusting not to do so )

With my sons we always read a story at night before bed. If a child is reluctant to read themselves then just read them a story and ask a few questions like why does X feel upset or what do you think Y will do now? Basic stuff, lots of children pretend they don't know the answer but you have to say well look here when she says XXXX now do you see why she is upset? ie showing them that they cannot avoid the question.

I volunteer in a primary school that introduced a reading scheme which saw children finish books for the first time ever. I get reluctant readers who will tell me a book is boring but know that you have to read awful books to realise what a good book is. I tell them all that the better books are higher up the levels.

Looking at the bigger picture, comprehension isn't just about reading a story book in primary school, it is about language, imagination, ideas for stories, story construction, learning to extract information from the text which is English SATs and then History, Geography, Ethics Religion and Philosophy etc as well as English in secondary school.

I still read to my mid teen son, he reads by himself but we like to share books in this family, I say we, Dh has read 1 book in the 20 years we have been married! Ds1 and Ds2 both teens read daily.

You have to try to find something they like, for Ds2 it was Beast Quest and Tom Gates - who I love. We have comic book style ones in school that seem to go down well.

Just read to your daughter, it is much easier to get the feel of a story if someone knows the correct tone of voice to use rather than decoding words.

I think some people never get the love of reading, my sister hated it and still doesn't really read, my husband only reads factual and can read statistics till the cows come home but would never pick up a novel. I always have my nose in a book when not busy and read more than watch TV. My daughter likes books especially if we read together but she is not overly interested in books they have at school. Will your daughter read magazines or even books like captain underpants and dogman (these are hugely popular at daughters school and are written like a comic book) I think half the battle is finding something they enjoy. Have the youtubers she likes got any books out.

I didn't like reading really, I only read Jacquline Wilson or those fairy books.

Still not the biggest reader, I hate fiction and I loathed English literature at school, I think I got a scraped a B. God knows how, it was total bullshit..

But I got into autobiographies when I was a teenager, so often read those if I see one I like. I really got into autobiographies of politicians when I studied political science at uni.

My son 8 3/4 has just started reading for pleasure. I tried every type of book and had just about given up.

Then one day he started to talk about David Williams and I said I'd buy him any book he wanted - let him look on amazon and order it himself which he loved - then told him he could do the same again soon as he finished that book.

I don't know what suddenly clicked but he now loves reading - was reading walking down the street the other day!!

I think sometimes you just have to wait and it'll happen when it happens.

If she likes screens, can you get her e-books? I know one of my friends did this with her reluctant reader son. He loved having an e-reader. He rarely reads printed book but reads e-books all the time

Have you tried reading to her? My son refused to read until about age 8/9 and then a tutor helped us inspire him by finding some genres he enjoyed. He literally started reading like a mad man within a week - one minute he would't read and then a week later I was finding him under the covers at 2am still reading! I wasn't sure whether to be pleased or angry! I find a kindle helps - they find a style of book they like and the kindle throws up similar suggestions they can access straight away (unfort at a price).

I'm an avid reader, if there's a written word to be read I read it! I learnt to read at 3 when my next brother up did, and frankly haven't stopped since, always a book or two on the go. Daughter just isn't interested, almost never has been known to read a book voluntarily but it didn't stop her doing English at A level and she churns out very good essays and assignments at Uni. She has a great command of English, excellent vocabulary, and, like my father can spot any typo/grammatical error instantly.

So while your daughter may or may not take up reading later on , not reading doesn't necessarily mean she'll be handicapped later on.

I've got a 9-year old like that. She will grudgingly read for a few minutes if she wakes up very early but is not an avid reader like I was at that age. Occasionally, we have found books that grab her and she laps them up, but it's really only been the 13-storey treehouse series that has taken her attention like that.

My dd is 8 and doesn't read for pleasure.
She loves books, stories and audio discs, but prefers books being read too her.
However we think she is dyslexic. She goes to a teacher who specialises in dyslexia and her confidence reading is improving. I think we are still a long way off her reading a story herself as other 8 year olds would.
We have tried co reading in the past, but it has been hard work and we never got to finish the story (unless i just read it). We will try again in the summer.

Every child is different though. Maybe she is not ready yet , or hasnt found the right type of books. Dd will try to read a book on guinea pigs as she loves guinea pigs.
Maybe reading isn't going to be one of her hobbies and she will find a different interest.

But some people just dont read for pleasure. Maybe she'd prefer to play a sport or music etc?

Some children enjoy choosing picture books at the library, and then reading them to younger children or dogs.

Definitely force her to read so you put her off it for life.

God this is my DD age 10. I've tried bribery, choosing any book she likes, reading to her or taking turns. She's really not interested also not that interested in films or shows but loves making up stories with Lego or dolls. thing is it does effect her vocabulary and her writing I think.
Great tips here, I might try the family reading hour, and try to relax about her choice of books (she seems stuck on Wimpy kid and doesn't want to go beyond that)

My daughter is 8 and it has only just started. She is bilingual though and English is her "home" language, so I was expecting things to be a bit slower than they would have been with me as a child.

During the years when I was silently willing her to start reading fluently and loving reading, I basically tried to make sure that she got lots of "book input" through other routes, if that makes sense. Audio books. Reading books TO her, especially books which would be far above her own reading level--including non fiction and some great children's literature. And high quality TV too, surprisingly. Documentaries, science programs, Magic School Bus, Horrible Histories. When children build up a good vocabulary and lots of background knowledge about the world and about all sorts of things, it will make it much much easier for them to become good readers when they finally do start reading.

By the waywe did limit screen time, but that alone is not enough for some kids. Like a PP said, she loves drawing, making up stories with dolls and toys, arts and crafts stuffleft to her own devices, that has mostly been what she has done. She has finally caught the reading bug, but limiting screens does not always produce the magic effect!

Thanks everyone, some lovely encouraging posts to wake up to.

We have tried many of the authors and approaches suggested but there are also lots we haven't, so I will make a note, and I also hope this thread will be useful to others who are hoping to encourage their reluctant readers.

I'm not going to push her and I accept that it may not be for her - of course we all have different interests, both as adults and as children. But I will also make sure that we have given her every chance of encouragement, in case there is one 'gateway' book that tips reading from chore to fun.

I was wondering if screens were the issue.
We don’t have screens during the weekdays except for homework and a bit of tv. This has naturally veered my kids to books. They never used to like reading fiction til about 9 or 10 but loved non fiction.
I think kids (and adults) want information, knowledge and entertainment whether from books or screens. Just rebalance it.

I share your disappointment op. DS is exactly the same. I've read to him since I breastfed him as a baby, read every night to him when he was younger (which he enjoyed) and we've done everything we possibly can to encourage him. He just doesn't enjoy it and I feel like he's missing out on so much! He began reading one of the David Walliams books to himself a couple of weeks ago and I was so pleased. He got a few chapters in and ditched it.