...to wonder whether my daughter (aged 8) will EVER love reading?

[NetflixandWill]

It's a daily battle to get DD (aged 8) to read.

Her friends have long been reading for pleasure, but she just doesn't enjoy it and resists her daily reading for school.

We've tried old classics, new favourites, anything that appeals to her when we visit a bookshop. We've let her pick what she wants at the library. We've watched films and listened to audiobooks and then sought out the books.

As a childhood bookworm and lover of reading now, I despair at the magic she's missing.

I know IABU and I should chill/not make it a source of friction - but AIBU to ask you to share stories of your own reading-haters who eventually learnt to love books? (And at what age?)

As bad as it sounds, I kind of blackmailed my reading resistant DD with the Harry Potter films. She saw the first 2 over Christmas a couple of years ago and wanted to watch the others. Prisoner of Azkaban is rated 12, and knowing how sensitive DD can get I wanted her to read the books first so she knew what was coming in the films.

Told her she could watch the film is she read the book. And she did, and what developed was a love of Harry Potter. She read the rest of the series back to back and has found a genre that she likes. We watched the films together and talked about the differences.
Obviously this is by no means a tried and tested method, but it worked for us!
Good luck!
As a side note, I would suggest getting something you could each read. When I worked as a school librarian having an chance to talk about it helped the reluctant readers at our school.

"We've watched films and listened to audiobooks and then sought out the books."
Don't watch the films BEFORE reading the books! It's boring to read the book, where everything is unfolding much slower than in the film, if you already know what's happening.

And for the "screen-addiction" you mentioned: There is a simple solution - limit her screen time. You are the parent!

DS1 is 9 and has never voluntarily read fiction until this year. Comics were great for him though - Beano and the Phoenix. He's also keen on learning science stuff so has increasingly flipped through non-fiction books. He's just discovered the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books though and he's absolutely hooked so I hope it continues.

@BlewTrews25 It's called aphantasia - DH has it and he's not a reader. I wonder if it's related. Though I have other friends who have aphantasia and enjoy reading ...

Thanks for all the comments. I did see that other thread about whether we read visually and would be interested to chat to her about what it's like for her.

@SmartPlay yes of course I limit her screen time and I'm aware I'm the parent - that's why I care. I'd love her to get lost in a book as an alternative to wishing for something on a screen.

Don't watch the films BEFORE reading the books! It's boring to read the book, where everything is unfolding much slower than in the film, if you already know what's happening.

I find the opposite. If I'm struggling with a book I might watch the film version first because it introduces me to the characters and plot in an easier to digest way and because the book is almost always more detailed then the world the author and film makers have created expands and I have more to look forward to.

My dyslexic 14 year old daughter has just started to read for pleasure at night.

@Redpostbox  great news! Lovely to hear.

@PineappleSeahorse yes different strokes for different folks!

I never read as a child and I still don’t read as an adult, unless I have to (work stuff)
I’ve got a PhD, so it hasn’t affected me academically. I just don’t like reading

@PineappleSeahorse
You are weird! :D ... just kidding (maybe).

It suddenly clicked for my DSD at about half nine/towards 10. Had to nag to get him to do school reading which he’d keep to the bare minimum and now we’re running out of space for all the books he gets through. I think I was about the same age when I read something I loved and have been a voracious reader since then.

DD3 was a very reluctant reader. She's academically beyond expectations for reading, but never enjoyed reading and wouldn't pick up a book unless forced. I decided not to force it.

This year, at 10, she has got into reading. I think she's found her genre (mystery/fantasy with a hint of age appropriate horror) and she's developed more stamina for reading. She actually asked to go back to school because she forgot her reading book at the end of the day, then yesterday she asked to go to the library to sign up for the Summer Reading Challenge.

She gets a little bit frustrated because she considers herself a slow reader. DH is a very slow reader and he says it really takes the drama out of a book of an action scene that is meant to be fast paced takes 30 minutes to read.

I would just get her eyes checked by an optometrist to rule out a visual difficulty.

She probably doesn't have a problem, but I think it is important to check. My DS would never read for pleasure as he has poor muscle tone in his eyes that made it hard to focus up close, and tiring to do for any length of time. He started reading for pleasure almost immediately after diagnosis and reciept of glasses.

I was a bookworm and though I can still read a book in a few days, I don’t read that much and prefer screentime. So reading as a child is not an indicator of avid reading as an adult!

Thanks everyone, lots of encouraging stories!

@HumphreyCobblers she's worn specs since a baby so lots of regular check-ups, thankfully. Glad your son's interest was transformed!

My DD is currently 9. She started reading for pleasure about 18 months ago (having been a reluctant reader). She is really crafty and very visual. I bought a stack of beano and dandy comics from ebay and she loved them - still does. She then went on to read joke books (which she still enjoys). But she is just very visual.....still prefers not to read a thick book unlike big brother.

I hated reading. Refused to do it. My mum was a huge reader and the house was full of books.
One day it just clicked for me and I was off.

It also helped that mum worked in a small family run bookshop so I spent the holidays sat in the children’s book corner reading.

My 2 boys, at 10 and 11, are just starting to enjoy reading. They have found it a long, hard slog to learn to read and I don’t think school have helped by insisting they read school reading books for their year group, rather than ones they could actually read. Their argument was they would never improve their reading if they were never challenged, my argument was that they would never learn to enjoy it if they had to stumble over every word on the page. The youngest was starting to do quite well with comprehension, then they brought in a new thing where kids have to read a certain number of words in a minute so he started trying to read so fast that he would gabble through the words not caring what they said.

Anyway, he’s now started really enjoying reading reading Roblox and Minecraft instruction books, and some other non fiction books about topics he enjoys like dinosaurs. And my 11 year old was telling me the other day that he’s started taking a book outside at playtime to read!

They have always enjoyed being read to, they’ve just found it hard to become skilled enough to read fluently.

Some good helpful comments, thanks everyone.

Aww I could've written this about two of my kids. It's horrible isn't it, and a bookworm mother's worst nightmare!! I despaired for many years but just kept plugging away and following their interests. Spent a bloody fortune in those years!! What broke ds was graphic novels like dogman. Once he started enjoying those, it got him in the habit of reading to himself, and he found himself enjoying other books too, so an upward spiral. Dd is a work in progress but I will persist and I know she'll come round to it. No screens at all in their rooms, largely to make reading the most appealing choice of activity at bedtime. Just keep trying, and leaving tempting books around, and don't pressure them. You'll win in the end!

I didn’t like reading until I was an adult. I could read really well - just found it boring. I really enjoy reading for pleasure now.

Don’t force it. Limit screen time. She doesn’t have to read though (she may prefer music, colouring, activities).

My DH doesn’t enjoy reading (save for newspapers). He’s an intelligent man and has a good job, he just doesn’t enjoy spending his free time that way.

Out of interest what books have you tired? My son read a lot of “beast quest”. It’s basically an easy book where the story is essentially the same each book but overall a plot builds up through each series.
If you can think of some easy books (like the “rainbow fairies” same publisher) then she might get into reading after building her confidence reading easy books.
After “beast quest” he started to read proper books. But we approached “beast quest” in order so he got the most from it.
I wish I was still reading to my son occasionally because now he won’t read new things if he doesn’t like the look of it.
Good luck.

DD was a reluctant reader right through until the end of Y4. She was very late to do phonics so reading has never been her thing. We did have to force it a little as she was still sounding out most words even in Y4 and it was affecting her work as she couldn't keep up reading the instructions on the board. We did 30mins of reading every night with bribery as necessary to make it happen. Sometimes DD read a page and I read a page, anything really.

What really helped, as others have mentioned, is DD finding books she wanted to read. She discovered the Tom Gates series and wouldn't read anything else (literally). She eventually announced the stories were really similar and then she branched out to other books.

DD also earns TV and device time by reading, in 15min chunks. So there's an instant incentive to read. That has really worked a treat too.

Oh yes!! Like the poster above said “Dogman” or even “13 storey tree house”. Easy books. It’s better if it’s a series with a lot of them.

My son is 8 and just wouldn’t read for pleasure at all. It really worried me, as he just seemed to hate reading, although he has a great reading age and his teacher had no worries. A few months ago we found some books he liked at the library and he just turned into a complete bookworm overnight. Honestly I can’t believe the change in him. It was like we just had to find his one ‘gateway book’ and now we can’t stop him.

My DD is 14 and she’s just not a reader compared to me. I have tried to encourage in many different ways but I can’t force it.
She is in top sets for all her subjects including English so It’s not harming her learning and I just have to accept that she might never be a bookworm