Hospital visit escalated out of control

[Outmuch]

DH here in need of advice. Apologies for epic post.

DC is month old and yesterday DW was concerned they were feverish and had a small mark on their arm. She phoned NH24 to be safe and her and baby were brought in for observation.

The fever was put down to the hot weather (all vitals are normal) and one of the nurses observed baby sucking it's arm which produced another small mark same as first.

We assumed the mystery was solved. all other tests were normal and baby was by all other accounts healthy. So assumed mum and baby would be home today...

Mum was informed as baby had a mark they were informing SS and today they've had numerous consultants but nobody is informing us when we can go home.
There's been suggestion someone fron SS could need to stay with us for a few days!!!

Does this seem ridiculous to anyone???!! On the balance of evidence:

• we self admitted to the hospital (not neighbours phoning over a domestic but our concerns)
• the mark had reasonable explanation as witnessed by 2 nurses
• baby has no other marks and is otherwise healthy confirmed by nurses (so no evidence of a pattern of abuse)
• baby has been visited by health care professional/midwife every 3 days since birth (stabilising feeding routine was a battle). These professionals have observed baby closely and would've reported anything untoward surely?

So this is one isolated mark, which is getting blown out of proportion.

Mum is upset and in constant tears. She's not being well updated and feels she's being punished for trying to be a good mum and report her initial worries.

If I wasn't so annoyed I'd find it hilarious. What happened to common sense? Appreciate any words of wisdom.

Thanks

Sorry * calming family member

Can you not call your local ss see why they can’t sort it out to discharge your wife and baby? If it’s as you say it’s a pretty open shut case.

Fwiw we had to take Ds to a&e at 2 weeks because he had a head injury where dd dropped something on his head! I was asked at hospital if we had been intervened by ss in the past (erm, no) which they said they had to ask everyone. A week later my hv rung and said any child under 1 with head injury was reported to them to follow up, presumably to then investigate and see if it warranted referral to ss. She seemed happy things were as accounts given. Haven’t had any further follow up.

I know it’s a complete pita but rest assured they are only doing this with good intentions to pick out those that need it. If they weren’t thorough enough wedyall complain if somethung terrible happened to a child.

I have had nearly the exact same scenario. Absolutely nothing came of it. Try not to worry, hard I know, but even if they do come and visit they won't find anything as you have nothing to hide.

Hopefully nothing comes of this OP, I get they need to be careful but it seems extreme. I do however know of social services staying with. Family. A colleague of mine, both her and her DH were drs we’re concerned about a small red mark on babies arm. Went to hospital and as a result a member social services stayed at thier own property for two weeks observing. The whole thing was ridiculous as the mark faded within hours. But it is possible for social services to stay at a property if they have a concern.

I'm frustrated at is hours can disappear in a second. Wife isn't being kept updated or reassured

Yes hours can disappear. Things move very slowly in hospital. What to you may seem like a quick task actually takes hours in reality because the urgent care, ward rounds, review of notes/x rays/ waiting test results for more seriously ill people who may be awaiting treatment plans take priority over your (mine, anyone’s I mean ‘your’ in the general sense) situation.

No one will be updating your wife because I imagine there isn’t anything to update and the staff are far too busy along with having too few opportunities to go to the loo/get a drink/ have lunch to just tell her “we have no update”.

It sounds very frustrating but it doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about. It is just the protocol and if SS getting involved with 20 innocent ‘family with marks on baby’ situations saves the life of just one baby that has marks then it will be worth it.

.... I've had similar happen to me, though not SS staying with me...

Junior doctors all concerned about possible abuse, and it was only when a senior consultant came and talked to me and then reassured me on hearing what had happened.... and apologised.

I think the less experienced or more fearful have to go through tick-box exercise and aren't able to evaluate as affectively

My advice - stay calm and rational (I found this impossible after several hours of suspicion!!) - and seek clear explanations and ask to see someone more senior. Good luck. Really horrid for you both. DW is lucky to have you reassuring her and facing this with her

Had a SS referral made (utterly groundless - long story I don't have time to go into right now) when DD1 was a baby. Might give the OP some help regarding timescales if nothing else. Was a bank holiday weekend, so the referral was obviously made over that, picked up on the Tuesday when it was discussed with me by the hospital staff. SS rang me on the following day to say "hi, I'm X dealing with it, what's gone off" basically and then rang round my community midwife (who went mildly ballistic at the idioticness of it to be gathered), and HV (pointless cos I'd never met her)... then think they rang me back the Wednesday or possibly Thursday to say all was sorted, they were happy to close the referral but obviously the record of it all remained on file (this part fucked with my head for years and years and did send me right down the road into post-natal anxiety as a heads up) and a letter was sent to the same effect. Took about a week in all for the process to run through and officially be closed off - we were in hospital throughout because of DD1's health needs so weren't kept there specifically because of the referral looming over us.

Might help a bit in terms of timescale to expect - never actually saw a SW in person, all done via telephone calls. Just be aware that it hit me like an absolute truck afterwards and took me years to get over the terror that any minor bump or scrape was going to result in another referral (irrational but anxiety and MH issues are anything BUT rational beasts)!

This sounds totally bizarre. I took my 1yo to hospital with a bleeding gash on his face where he fell over and hit the coffee table. Real actual blood running down his cheek and nobody was concerned or called SS. So I’m surprised they got involved just for a mark? Unless there are other risk factors that haven’t been mentioned.

I think you should talk to PALS, the Drs attitude and conduct is not acceptable.

Never heard of anyone suggesting a person from SS would stay with a family before, so that's utter bollocks.

Absolute bollocks, yes. SS don't have resources to do that even if they wanted to. When I was in children's SS that never happened even in cases so appalling that they warranted the highest levels of involvement.

Is there any reason why you aren't at the hospital with your wife and child?

Discharge yourselves.

Absolutely do not do this. It will raise the staff's level of concern. It is what someone who caused the injury might do.

Wait, support your wife, be calm and cooperative.

I would feel equally frustrated, but the staff aren't making a personal judgement about you, you are a stranger to them. They are ensuring that your baby is safe.

If there is a delay in speaking to SS, it is because staff are dealing with more urgent things, like sick children.

It might be because it's a mark on a non mobile baby. My DS was dropped and suffered a head injury pre-rolling/crawling. We knew it would be referred to SS. They have a safeguarding team at most hospitals, they spoke to the doctors who had treated him , who had asked us what happened together, separately and at different times, I'm assuming to ascertain consistency. I would've been perfectly happy for them to come out and assess us but they didn't even speak to us, just signed it off as no concerns because our doctors and nurses had none. It's a procedure. If everything you've said here is the full picture you've got nothing to worry about. If there are other risk factors there may be a more detailed assessment, but I deal with children's services in my job and have never ever known a social worker to stay with a family in their house to assess them.

From my experience with babies and hospital admissions. When our first was little we dropped him. SS was informed and did no follow up, neither did the HV apart from saying “these things happen” when walking past us in the Dr surgery.

They are too overstretched. My child has a disability so I have dealings with SS. They are not very proactive in any shape or form

Ex hospital safeguarding team member here (midwifery)
Ask to speak to the hospital safeguarding team to clarify what referral exactly the doctor is making and under what section

A colleague of mine, both her and her DH were drs we’re concerned about a small red mark on babies arm. Went to hospital and as a result a member social services stayed at thier own property for two weeks observing. The whole thing was ridiculous as the mark faded within hours. But it is possible for social services to stay at a property if they have a concern.

This didn't happen. Children's Services can visit you at home to make an assessment, including turning up unannounced, but they cannot actually install someone in your home and force you to accommodate them as some sort of bizarre house-guest for days on end.

Try and get your wife to video the baby sucking it’s arm

That way if SS do contact, you have video evidence

However, I can’t see anything coming of this

It is also highly unlikely a 1 month old baby can suck its own arm!

My nephew does, Sparkly - and he's just 5weeks old. He sucks hand, wrist and the bit of his arm near the wrist. Good luck OP.

You'd describe that as wrist or hand though surely?

". Went to hospital and as a result a member social services stayed at thier own property for two weeks observing. "

What utter BS, that did not happen.

Or,let's pretend it did happen.

There's more to the story than " mark that faded after a few hours"

Why would they force a person on a family to live there for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. Where did the SS personal sleep?
Why would SS have the funds for this?
What were the eating and shower arrangements? Did they have to order foodl, were they allowed to cook in their kitchen?

it is also highly unlikely a 1 month old baby can suck its own arm!

Really? They are pretty good at sucking given their lives depend on it?!?

An unexplained mark on a non-mobile child? Standard practice for a safeguarding referral to be made. Don’t worry, I doubt anything will come with it.

Also laughing at the idea of social workers moving into someone’s house 😂. We wouldn’t want to live in your home any more than you’d want us there.

I used to believe it was essential that any problems with children were checked out by Medics, Nurses or Social Worker. Then it happened to me. I can not believe the stupidity of the Social Workers. They did not any logic at all. There was nothing going on, the child was fine.
When the whole circumstances came to light they did not admit that they had been conned, or lied to or gone down the wrong road. I realise that they would be scared of being sued. They did not seem to realise that they were bringing the whole Social Services and Social Workers into disrepute.
The child in question is now all grown up and never did fit their suspicions.

Be very careful around Social Workers. I found that the Consultant at the Hospital was the one with brains enough to see through the problem. Keep the Dr on side and send emails confirming any conversations with anyone.