To think the other mum should have folder HER buggy?

[FairfaxAikman]

Our local bus company has introduced vehicles with exit doors halfway down.
It means that while they used to have a wheelchair space AND a buggy space, there's now only a wheelchair space, which is not so great for those of us in the sticks surrounding the city as there's always more than one person with a pram gets on from our village.

We don't often get the bus so don't have an umbrella type pram but I accept I have to fold it if the space is not available on the bus .

However today pissed me off a bit - the space was taken by a umbrella style pram with a child of about five in it. I thought the child might have mobility problems, but nope when it came to their stop (several miles down the road) the child got up and walked off.

The mother had watched me struggle to take the seat containing a sleeping DS off the frame, fold the frame and then wedge myself and DS (and seat) into one of the priority seats (as it was the only one with enough space for me to do this)

AIBU to think common sense would dictate that she should offer to fold hers so I don't have to struggle with mine?

Before anyone accuses me of being entitled I didn't say anything and certainly wouldn't demand this but I know if the situation was reversed then I definitely would have offered to fold mine.

People are perfectly entitled to refuse to give up a buggy space for a younger baby - just like they're perfectly entitled to refuse to give up a non-priority seat to a pregnant woman or older person. But in both cases, I'd say it was the nice thing to do!

You'd have been unreasonable to start demanding she gave up her space, but that's clearly not what happened. I don't think you're BU to think she should have done so voluntarily.

And yes, there could of course be some mobility issues or something with the older child, but statistically, that seems less likely than not, particularly in light of the fact that they were capable of some walking and the buggy presumably looked standard and not like a specialist piece of equipment. And even if it was tricky for them to stand for long periods, it sounds like there were seats available.

but statistically, that seems less likely than not, particularly in light of the fact that they were capable of some walking and the buggy presumably looked standard and not like a specialist piece of equipment
A bog standard buggy wouldn't fit a 5 year old, it may not be a specialist one as they are very expensive, you can get an XXL stroller not much bigger than a standard.
My DS can walk too, I think he has walked off the bus twice from his buggy, yes he has a disability but on a good day, will I stay no you must stay strapped down to prove your disability.
Personally I think if you are using public transport, buy a proper buggy, not a big pram with added car seat sometimes, you can get plenty of fold down buggy for newborns, some of these prams are mini tanks.

Actually OP I think yabu to go on public transport without a easy fold buggy.

I think when having a baby you need to think long and hard about the sort of equipment that is suitable for the busses where you live. In my case only a carrier will do.

"DS is 12 months, so not old enough to walk or stand but old enough to stage dive off a seat or make a speed-of-lightening escape attempt towards the door if put down."

That describes a lot of 5 year old buggy users. That's why they are in them but they are a lot less portable than a 12 month old and can bite and kick harder when they get distressed by the bus environment.

Sera22 statistically it is more likely because the vast majority of 5 year olds don't use buggies. Many users of sn buggies can walk to some extent but the buggy is needed for safety reasons.

there should be provision for all passengers so that everyone is able to travel.

Sometimes i have to stand on a bus because there isn't room to sit. The OP was able to have got on (any of) the buses by folding the pushchair.

Many wheelchairs cannot get on at the front. By making the space in the middle you are literally making provision for all.

@Lilyannarose please stand your ground. You have every right to that space whether you get on first or last. DS is older. Generally buses load everyone then they get the ramp for us. We're always last. But standing your ground does get easier and people do move. Best of luck

YABU.
She didnt have to.
Most buses have nowhere to put a folded pushchair so your seat would be toddler, you and umbrella oushchair plus all your bags.
My 4.0yo is still in a pushchair.
There can be many reasons. We walk a loooong way. Dc goes very fast, running often and is a runner too. Our trips are not a slow meander around. But then he is zonked and more likely to run.
But yanbu the buses are badly designed. I actually think more fold down pushchair spaces are needed.

I know loads of 4yo in pushchairs. And actually think it is the ones who dont use the car. They are siblings on school runs and i think it is much better than driving.
Contrasted with a mum who drives everywhere (even a 2min walk), but proudly said their dd was out of the pushchair at 1yo lol!

I knew this would be Edinburgh. I hated buses when my two were wee as we lived on a route that had no buggy or wheelchair spaces for years. Fortunately lived by the train station so it was easier to get a train. Now live on the tram route and that would be so much easier too but it's so limited in its route.

I'd like to know where in the sticks you are?? I wouldn't say anywhere within Lothian Buses routes is 'in the sticks' or a village?? We get the odd Eves Coach or Borders Bus!

It's unusual for a 5 year old at school.

No reason a wheelchair user can't use the space in front of the folded seats - theres no legal requirement to have a padded head rest behind the wheelchair and its no more safe/dangerous.

Really all spaces SHOULD have a tie down and the driver should come and tie the chair down with straps, for it to actually be safe, same as really all passengers should have seatbelts... its not practical however.

So any user of those spaces who is not a 'priority' user, ie, disabled, should move if they can.

If the child looked about 5, it’s probably safe to assume he had some kind of disability. I take my 5-year-old out in a standard buggy because the ones from wheelchair services weigh a ton and are a nightmare to manoeuvre. I could as easily fly to the moon as get my DD safely out of her buggy on the bus, fold it and sit down with her.

@WiddlinDiddlin our buggy space isn't wide enough. DS is 4 and has a special chair, if I put him lengthways he sticks out into the aisle a bit, I can only imagine a full sized wheelchair would protrude further meaning the person using it is at risk of being knocked as people try to get past, and there def wouldn't be room for two wheelchairs to be manouvered in the space - I've had to pull mine out and part way up the aisle at an angle to let someone in a wheelchair reverse into the wheelchair user space. Again, with a proper wheelchair you couldn't do that. I can't point him out long ways as there's no way you'd get past. And this is on our new buses. The old ones are worse with the buggy space bot having any proper back and beinh tiny

I would take the '5' with a big pinch of salt. About 1/10 kids are 6m-1y+ height different to average. And that's assuming the op or anyone has a reasonable estimate of how tall a 5yo would be.
How tall do you think a 5yo would be?
The vast majority are probably out by 5.0yo.

its no more safe/dangerous,

@WiddlinDiddlin Do you have some evidence to support that?

I generally have to support DS' wheelchair to save it from going flying. I know I'm very glad the support means the chair cant tip backwards and i only have to deal with forwards. I also know if you have a backpack on the back of the chair so it cant sit flat against that pad the chair is significantly more likely to slide (or tip) from side to side. I wouldn't ride DS sideways on a bus as everytime it stopped or started suddenly its likely the chair would fly sideways.

Ime that pad is remarkably important. But i do agree tiedowns would be a fantastic addition

Yabu, not all disabilities are visible.