Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the other mum should have folder HER buggy?

117 replies

FairfaxAikman · 14/07/2019 18:53

Our local bus company has introduced vehicles with exit doors halfway down.
It means that while they used to have a wheelchair space AND a buggy space, there's now only a wheelchair space, which is not so great for those of us in the sticks surrounding the city as there's always more than one person with a pram gets on from our village.

We don't often get the bus so don't have an umbrella type pram but I accept I have to fold it if the space is not available on the bus .

However today pissed me off a bit - the space was taken by a umbrella style pram with a child of about five in it. I thought the child might have mobility problems, but nope when it came to their stop (several miles down the road) the child got up and walked off.

The mother had watched me struggle to take the seat containing a sleeping DS off the frame, fold the frame and then wedge myself and DS (and seat) into one of the priority seats (as it was the only one with enough space for me to do this)

AIBU to think common sense would dictate that she should offer to fold hers so I don't have to struggle with mine?

Before anyone accuses me of being entitled I didn't say anything and certainly wouldn't demand this but I know if the situation was reversed then I definitely would have offered to fold mine.

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 14/07/2019 22:00

I'm shocked at how many people say she wasn't obliged so fair play to her.

People aren't obliged to hold doors open for others, let people with 1/2/3 items go in front in supermarket etc.

But it's pretty normal to have enough morals to make people's lives easier if possible.

Yanbu

lifeinthedeep · 14/07/2019 22:06

The first come first serve rule is bullsit.

When ds was 5 weeks old I had to make a 2 hour journey getting on and off many buses. It was -3 outside and after waiting outside for 40 minutes in between stops, I was extremely anxious to get on the bus. At first I was told to wait for the next bus (40 mins time) as the pram area was full, but I said I’d rather try to fold the pram. There was a school aged child swamping a buggy filled with shopping (the buggy was obviously being used for that purpose because the child was so big in the pram that she didn’t look comfortable). I was expected to fold my newborn pram with frame and carrycot. I was struggling to fold the pram with one hand while holding a floppy newborn not long after an emergency c-section. In the end they moved up and I managed to squeeze the pram in besides the other.

Now ds is 7 months old and I use a buggy for the bus. I would always fold for someone with a 2 part pram or for someone who had a newborn- it’s common decency!

FYI not all older children in buggies have SEN. As is don’t drive and have to travel long distances my child will probably be in a pram for a while but by that age I’d always fold it on the bus and have him sit with me on the seat because IT IS harder to fold a large pram with a newborn than fold a buggy that has a 5 year old in it.

lifeinthedeep · 14/07/2019 22:18

*and the child in the pram was accompanied by 2 parents whereas I was alone with a newborn.

I

Stroller15 · 14/07/2019 22:26

Knew it was Edinburgh too. Pain in the arse. It all makes me so anxious I don't use the bus. She was ridiculous but the bus company is even more so with these non-practical buses!

TheDarkPassenger · 14/07/2019 22:28

Honestly it’s so easy to say she’s a selfish bitch and I’m inclined to aswell but then I think honestly if you caught me on a day where my autoimmune was flaring or I was feeling a bit flat from bipolar I would probably try to pretend to myself you weren’t there and agonise over being a bitch

VolcanionSteamArtillery · 14/07/2019 22:35

Im so sorry you are inconvenienced by the loss of one buggy space so a wheelchair can actually manevour get on and off the bus and into the wheelchair space effectively....

You both had children in buggys. The other child was there first. Why didn't you fold and get on one of the other 2 earlier buses?
Yabu

VolcanionSteamArtillery · 14/07/2019 22:37

How old is your child anyway?

Sleepyblueocean · 14/07/2019 22:52

Ds had a sn buggy from age 3 but when on public transport I used an ordinary one till he was 5 because if I had to fold for a wheelchair, it was easier. I wouldn't have folded for another pram. Babies are easier to manage than a 5 year old who is trying to headbutt you.

"FYI not all older children in buggies have SEN."

How do you tell? Do the children with sn ( not sen) have labels stuck on them.

MauisHouseOnMaui · 15/07/2019 00:11

I agree with Sleepyblueocean's point above, SN and SEN are two entirely different things. SN - Special Needs. SEN - Special Educational Needs. SN refers to disability whereas SEN refers to learning, not all children with a disability have SEN and not all children with SEN have a disability. It's ignorance to use the two terms interchangeably.

The first come first serve rule is bullsit.

Conditions of Carriage usually state how many buggies can be carried in the pushchair space (where one is available) and that the space is on a first come, first served basis. That is the fairest way to allocate the space otherwise the driver would be forever mediating games of Baby Top Trumps - my baby is sleeping so I can't fold, well my back hurts so I can't fold, but I have shopping so I can't, my baby is younger, yes but my baby is heavier so I can't hold him the whole journey.

First come first served is the easiest way to decide it. If someone decides to fold up or walk the last few stops or get off and wait for the next bus to allow another puschair to use the space then that's their decision but they shouldn't have to feel guilted into it or be considered a selfish bitch according to some arbitrary moral code.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/07/2019 00:14

the loss of one buggy space so a wheelchair can actually manevour get on and off the bus and into the wheelchair space effectively....
It doesn't read like they've out the middle door in to aid people in wheelchairs but instead to make the flow of people in and off quicker. The only real way to make it easier for people in wheelchairs to get on and off the bus would be to make the aisles wider surely

Dieu · 15/07/2019 00:17

YANBU.

Dieu · 15/07/2019 00:19

I live in Edinburgh too, and the buses are a pain in the tits.
Scotland's capital city - with shedloads of tourists - and it's still exact money only! No change given, and no contactless.
Get with the fucking times, Lothian Buses, you're an embarrassment!

MoanyAnna · 15/07/2019 00:49

YANBU. She was selfish.

Ladynxxx · 15/07/2019 01:05

Learn to drive get a car to avoid this I cant n would never be on a bus with a pram sounds stressful

avacadooo · 15/07/2019 01:08

@VolcanionSteamArtillery does this look wheelchair friendly to you? They've made the new buses inaccessible to buggies and wheelchairs because of the door to get people off the buses faster..

To think the other mum should have folder HER buggy?
mintdelta · 15/07/2019 01:23

I agree with the first come first served rule. I live in London, and I have a buggy that's easy to fold as I use public transport all the time (not umbrella fold but I can manage it with one hand), but there just wouldn't be time to take everything out of the basket, take DD out and fold the buggy while the bus is waiting at the stop. I don't think the other passengers would accept their journey being delayed if the driver waited for me to do that. I don't think I've ever seen anyone fold a buggy to allow another one on here to be honest, the driver just doesn't allow another one on board if there isn't space.

It's just not practical to choose a large prams if you know you're going to be dependant on public transport. We've been using the same lie-flat Silver Cross buggy since DD was a newborn, and we chose it specifically because it was narrow and easy to fold. It's narrow enough that it's possible to fit three of them into the buggy space, so it's more considerate of other traveller's needs, unlike the larger prams which often take up the whole space. She never needed a pram with a carrycot. If I believed that DD needed that type of pram as a newborn (like my DSis did with her DS) then I would have been prepared to walk on most journeys, and have to be prepared to wait longer for a bus with an empty buggy space (or give up and get an Uber, as DSis often did, but I'm too tight for that).

Letshopeitworks · 15/07/2019 01:33

Yeah Thought it was Edinburgh I often get the 16. The bus driver actually asked a women to fold her empty buggy the other day for me at least. Ds 3 is still in a buggy due to sen bug I’ve just had a baby so have a double but when it was just him I used to fold when someone like yourself came on

GarakIsMySweetheart · 15/07/2019 02:01

I am also amazed by the "she's not obliged" type comments.

There are 101 things I do every day that I'm not 'obliged' or legally required to do but I do them because I'm a considerate person and, if I can make someone's day a bit easier through a bit of consideration, then I will do.

Do some people really go through life, watching others be inconvenienced by their own choices/behaviours and just thinking, "yeah? Well you can't make me..." like petulant 7 year olds?"

Original poster
FairfaxAikman · 15/07/2019 05:02

Lady I can and do drive but not into the middle of edinburgh as that's far more stressful than any bus journey

OP posts:
VolcanionSteamArtillery · 15/07/2019 06:36

The only real way to make it easier for people in wheelchairs to get on and off the bus would be to make the aisles wider surely
No
Whilst youre correct the middle door does make it quicker to get people on and off. It also makes it considerably easier with a wheelchair.

VolcanionSteamArtillery · 15/07/2019 06:43

VolcanionSteamArtillery does this look wheelchair friendly to you?

Yes it does.
Nice wide turning circle to get into the wheelchair space and no need to navigate the to narrow passage by the driver. Significantly better. Well worth the loss of 1 (of the 2) pushchair spaces.

Daynmomof6 · 15/07/2019 07:05

Personally I would always fold my pushchair down for a child younger than mine or if the other child was sleeping. Even my double if the boys were older and awake more than other child I'd take them out and fold it down. However some people are not like that unfortunately. With my 2 youngest as soon as they could walk I got them cheap easy fold pushchairs for trips to town etc have you considered this x

SnuggyBuggy · 15/07/2019 07:18

If the child was still in a buggy at 5 they probably have a disability to be fair.

CrunchTime0 · 15/07/2019 07:27

I wouldn’t of folded my buddy down. I was there first and I couldn’t be dealing with the hassle of doing it when I didn’t have to.

Witchend · 15/07/2019 07:37

You said you would always told your buggy if needed, so why did you not get the previous two buses?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.