To think the other mum should have folder HER buggy?

[FairfaxAikman]

Our local bus company has introduced vehicles with exit doors halfway down.
It means that while they used to have a wheelchair space AND a buggy space, there's now only a wheelchair space, which is not so great for those of us in the sticks surrounding the city as there's always more than one person with a pram gets on from our village.

We don't often get the bus so don't have an umbrella type pram but I accept I have to fold it if the space is not available on the bus .

However today pissed me off a bit - the space was taken by a umbrella style pram with a child of about five in it. I thought the child might have mobility problems, but nope when it came to their stop (several miles down the road) the child got up and walked off.

The mother had watched me struggle to take the seat containing a sleeping DS off the frame, fold the frame and then wedge myself and DS (and seat) into one of the priority seats (as it was the only one with enough space for me to do this)

AIBU to think common sense would dictate that she should offer to fold hers so I don't have to struggle with mine?

Before anyone accuses me of being entitled I didn't say anything and certainly wouldn't demand this but I know if the situation was reversed then I definitely would have offered to fold mine.

Yep missed waited a whole hour and a half with a child/baby of indeterminate age who slept the whole time...

But the child who was there first should have moved because a child who has slept for 1 and half hours cant possibly be woken up.

All the wheelchair users fault for needed a service that is actually useable.

If the child was 5 it is more likely than not that they have a disability. Sn buggies are expensive to buy and NHS wheelchair services often do not provide them for children who have autism etc. My 14 year can walk but would be in a wheelchair or sn buggy if I ever risked public transport with him.

OP, do you honestly get off the bus several stops before yours if someone gets on with a “large dog”?

Lothian buses have a dreadful track record regarding buggies. In 2011 they banned buggies except umbrella folding buggies and there CEO made some rather derogatory comments about mothers. I have never quite forgiven the misogyny. It was clear from their reaction than Lothian buses has little regard for mothers.
They were eventually forced to change the rules and accept all types of buggies and increase the space available.
Unfortunately, i’m not surprised that Lothian are now reducing the space for buggies on their buses. Their leadership has displayed its contempt for mothers with buggies.

Will never forget 2 women with walking toddlers pushing past me and 5 week old baby so I got stranded in town for hours.
Since then I've used sling with small babies. Can just go upstairs and avoid the whole insanity.
Have always had an easy fold pushchair from birth. These massive carrycots are too big for buses, you'd have to fold for wheelchair user anyway so not practical to take on bus.

Its definitely better to get the bus with a carrier. The mere logistics of trying to hold a small baby, shopping bags and fold a pram make me feel stressed let alone doing it and I wouldn't want to get stranded at a bus stop in the middle of my journey either.

Whilst youre correct the middle door does make it quicker to get people on and off. It also makes it considerably easier with a wheelchair. but are wheelchairs able to load through that door or do still load the front? I thought the middle door was exit. Does it even have a ramp or are chairs getting on and off the same way?

If they want to make it easier for people in wheelchairs to get on and off, in most cases they just need to move the luggage rack, widen the aisle and knock out seats further up

Busses must be pretty difficult for anyone with a disability. The drivers near me seem to really resent stopping the bus to pick people up so you have to stand by the edge of the pavement, keep your eyes on the road and wave your arms like a manic windmill or they just speed past you. How someone who can't stand for long is meant to flag one down is anyone's guess.

@SleepingStandingUp yes the middle door is an exit but usually wheelchairs and most buggies don't fit through the front, so you come in the middle (wheelchairs with a ramp)

Stuck with these buses the middle is exit only (and no apparent ramp either) while the front has a ramp and the bus "kneels".

As a PP said there was a stooshie a few years back because of pram issues and they introduced buses with dedicated pram spaces as a result, only to now be removing them now.
The luggage rack isn't big enough either as they've stuck two seats at the front of it as well.

To answer some questions:
DS is 12 months, so not old enough to walk or stand but old enough to stage dive off a seat or make a speed-of-lightening escape attempt towards the door if put down.

I didn't get the earlier buses because there was so many folk standing I wouldn't have got on.

I was also only stood for an hour as one of the buses I tried was an alternative service to the next village from mine but is a walkable distance to my house.

Yes I've got off for people with dogs - but only if close-ish to my stop. Last time the poor dog was wedged under a seat with its legs and tail sticking out and had already been stood on. I was only five or so stops from the one I planned to get off at, which is only about half a mile. I can walk that.

Ok IABU about the woman but I don't think IABU about the removal of the dedicated space.

The lack is luggage rack is also a problem. The busses here have the be prepared to fold your buggy signs but there is nowhere to actually put a folded down buggy.

At 12 months you can easily put your dc in a cheap umbrella stroller for the bus.

My son is 4 and has muscular dystrophy. He looks a lot older than he is. He has a special needs buggy at the moment rather than a proper wheelchair but folding it down is very difficult and is usually a 2 man job. Perhaps this was the case here.

YABU thinking buses 'only' every half hour on a Sunday qualifies you as in the sticks.

I agree with Big Red, I think first come first served with buggies. The other parent could have decided to be charitable and fold the buggy but they are under no obligation to.

Unfortunately people just focus on their own needs with buses/ buggy spaces.
I had been waiting 10 minutes for a bus with my child in his wheelchair.
A lady came along with a toddler in a buggy and stood behind me (all good so far).
The moment the bus turned up she casually said "Oh. I just need to ask the driver about something", veered around me and hopped on the bus and into the buggy space.
There wasn't room for my child's wheelchair so I went to treat us to an ice-cream and got the next bus!

At 12 months you can easily put your dc in a cheap umbrella stroller for the bus.

I don't have the space to store a second buggy, as it is the main one is kept in the car and we need the big main one as we do a lot of walking once we've driven to where we normally need to be.

lily you should have spoken up and made the cheeky cow move!

I would always move when DSv was a small baby.
Now he is 4 but looks 6, he is a McClaren XXL stroller, I can't afford the large more obvious disability buggy, he has so many sensory issues the bus engine, chatter, passing traffic, he doesn't like anyone looking at him, he feels safe in his buggy, he won't wear headphones.
People constantly stare at me when we're out with his buggy, I've no car, I feel like getting a big sign for the buggy.

Lily that is awful, I would always get off the bus for a wheelchair user, in fact the bus drivers here tell to you to either fold the buggy or get off for a wheelchair user. They're 100% right wheelchair users take priority.

Emerald when we were in a similar situation before the nhs services wokld help we got an excel Elsie chair which is the same as a mclaren major but a lot cheaper. They can often be picked up on SN “buy sell swap” pages too when he outgrows what he is in now

@Sirzy Thank you for that.

Yanbu
My little girl is 3 now but still uses her umbrella buggy on long days out and I always fold it on the bus now
Then she sits on a seat or on my lap if bus is busy

I don't think IABU about the removal of the dedicated space

You are definitely NBU on that score, there should be provision for all passengers so that everyone is able to travel.

YANBU but sadly some people are selfish bastards.