AIBU to think that not answering to questions/posts on family group chats is rude?

[Username000]

Just wondering whether it’s me or people find this rude.
I found that when i add a question / post on family group chats is being ignored. Not really sure why, or in the best case scenario only one person responds with a smiley face or ‘awww that’s nice’!
Usually I respond to everyone who posts...i think it’s nice and considerate to do so.
Also I found that if I send a message with more than one question...people will only respond to one and ignore the rest.
I am quite hurt when this happens as I think they are not bothered enough to respond.

Maybe I overthink things...

One of my brothers deleted himself from the family group chat cause he got bored of me and my parents chatting “about nothing” 😂

How many people are on the group chat and how often are people texting on it? Because if it’s very active it’s not at all surprising that some messages will be ignored, because it’s crap to constantly have to engage with WhatsApp. If it’s generally quiet tho and people are ignoring you specifically, yanbu.

Yeah sometimes this happens I guess but we live quite far from the family and we rarely see them.
I don’t add posts there very often and when I do I ask something I need to know or add a photo with DD which they only see maybe twice a year.
I think it’s quite rude to ignore this

Yes! I understand some messages not being replied to and I don't expect a comment for every picture I post but one of my brothers and his wife never seem to reply even when it's on the group which is just us 3. I keep wondering if I've done something to offend them, my mum says no (she sees them regularly) and they seem fine when I see them but it isn't that often sadly due to distance.

I don't think this falls into the category of being rude.

I think you are more likely someone who feels responsibility to be pleasant and respond to everything, which would explain why you think they are being rude.

Posting Family group chats are not demands for replies, simply leaving posts hanging for anyone who's interested to respond to.

There is no point in everyone having conversations purely to be polite on a group chat. They're a bit pointless aren't they?

Share your interesting news, pass on useful info, ask family related questions or post arrangements, but some families just aren't 'chatty' types are they.

Do try to not be hurt by it, better to step away from it when it makes you feel that way, or you could build up resentment against family members.

Join different chat forums perhaps?

I don't think I could summon up the energy to be bothered by this. Different people communicate differently.

yes, definitively over-thinking.

You post, they reply or not when convenient. That's the way it works. They don't have to comment on every single photo.

Ignoring a question is weird, but depends on the question.

My family group chat is muted and I only check it every so often so there is a lot i miss.

X-posted, and thats more info.

I would have to say they literally just don't sound bothered about family group chat!

Are you in regular phone contact? Or maybe Skype or facetime each other?

My SIL posts lots of photos on the family group chat.
It’s wearing at times.
It’s a bit needy.

I think the distance makes it even harder it’s not like I could go and see them whenever I please

@ihatethecold I don’t post a lot of pictures. I think I post about 2 photos a month roughly...if something really special happens or if we are away.
I only want to share my excitement or happiness. Maybe people don’t want to see this .

People do get fed up with being asked questions. It might be better not to ask them from now on. I think constant questioning is more rude than not answering one.

@Rachelover40 I don’t think you read my posts correctly.
They post a lot more than I do.
I am interested in seeing my nephews so I respond
Obviously they don’t feel the same

I did read your posts.
You could be right that they don't feel the same way as you. What sort of questions do you ask?

I left DH's family chat. Two of his SILs post photos constantly (mostly pics that have also been on FB) and comment on every single thing that anyone else posts. It feels like a competition to be the first to respond and I find it draining.

Oh god I bet you’re also the person who posts loads of “funny” stuff in parents school WhatsApp groups. Maybe people couldn’t be arsed to chat, maybe they are at work or doing something with their kids or watching eastenders or having the dinner or basically anything other than being on a family group chat 24/7.

@Jebuschristchocolatebar Jesus Christ have you read my posts????
You are so wrong...further than the truth.
Also I don’t have a school what’s up group ...
you posted for the sake of it

@Jebuschristchocolatebar also what a shitty thing to say when I mentioned before I don’t post often enough not even close to how many times they post on a daily basis

Fine, OP, they just don't like you. Is that what you want people to say?

It seems to me much more likely that they don't think it's necessary for everyone to reply to everything in a group chat, but whatever. Be offended if that's what you want.

I love my ils, sils, bils etc but I mute the family whatsapp group. It drives me potty. My phone would never stop ringing if I didnt. I tend to only check it once a day. I would hate for them to think me rude, in truth, im just busy.

I definitely made the right decision to not join any social media groups, they seem to cause so much trouble.

Bridgetreilly : It seems to me much more likely that they don't think it's necessary for everyone to reply to everything in a group chat, but whatever. Be offended if that's what you want.

Agree.

I think it depends on how many people are on the group chat and when they are around - we have 15 people in ours and 7 of them don't work (retired, SAHP, Students) and I have on occasion finished work to 78 unread messages in the group (easily done with that many people in the group and all chatting).

It pisses me off with messages flashing up constantly while I am busy at work as it is so intrusive so I often just mute it, and I don't have time to trawl through all the inane chit chat when I get home. So you'd probably think I am rude because (if you send it during the day) the likelihood is I haven't even seen the message to reply to!

I think two photos a month is quite a lot, not to mention the questions.

It’s only really parents who are interested in their children, maybe that’s why they don’t respond when you post yet another picture.

There are only 5 people in our group chat.
I can’t believe 2 photos a month (roughly) is a lot. Sometimes I don’t post anything for months...it depends whether something exciting had happened that I wish to share.

I thought families are supposed to be interested. Also taking into consideration we don’t live that close and we see them around 2/3 times a year ... if that...2 photos a month would be acceptable.
As I said before I only want to know if people find it offensive when immediate family ignore your messages.

I’m not talking about cousins/uncles/grandparents etc