AIBU to think that not answering to questions/posts on family group chats is rude?

[Username000]

Just wondering whether it’s me or people find this rude.
I found that when i add a question / post on family group chats is being ignored. Not really sure why, or in the best case scenario only one person responds with a smiley face or ‘awww that’s nice’!
Usually I respond to everyone who posts...i think it’s nice and considerate to do so.
Also I found that if I send a message with more than one question...people will only respond to one and ignore the rest.
I am quite hurt when this happens as I think they are not bothered enough to respond.

Maybe I overthink things...

I'm so glad I declined to join our family WhatsApp group...I could not be doing with this, and there's nothing more boring than other people's photos

Honestly, and I don't mean to be mean, but I think your own responses to people here might be why people don't respond to you.

I quite like seeing some photos, don't think I have ever posted a reply to one, I've seen it, maybe even liked it never crossed my mind to comment, maybe your family do that too

But OP this is where we all differ. Our family are scattered all over the country but despite distance and busy lives we make the effort to see them all far more frequently than a couple of times a year and have genuine interactions face to face.

But yes we mute the group chat, so of course we are the ones that are 'so involved in their own little lives and don't care about family'...

There’s some twats on this thread.

OP the amount of photos you’re adding isn’t a lot. Don’t worry. What sort of questions are you asking? Maybe they read and mean to reply later but get side tracked?

I am on a group of some close friends who have the same interest - we see each other but it is useful for making meet up arrangements and also sharing personal/funny/ local things. It can be silence for a day or on another, lots of unrelated posts or short themes.

Most of us do have notifications turned off and will occasionally take a look to find maybe 30 unread posts. A quick scroll through but it is illogical to reply to everything as it can loop the conversation back or the moment has passed unless it is really important or unusually interesting . That’s the dynamic of a group conversation - it would be like sitting around, conversation flowing naturally, someone feeling that their interesting point has has been missed and insisting on going back over something that is past.

If you want a reaction to every picture or every piece important to you of news, then you could start individual conversations, though choose wisely

Also I found that if I send a message with more than one question...people will only respond to one and ignore the rest.

It could be that your posts are too long. My mother always sends me what feels like an essay in every email, and with a young baby I often only have time to send a line or two in response at most. I tried to encourage her to text instead thinking she would send me shorter messages but she just sent me the same stuff via text!

More generally, you seem a bit difficult on this thread when people have given replies that you don't like. If that's representative of how you are in real life it's possible that people could be trying not to engage with you too much 🤷‍♀️

If you are genuinely worried that your family don't care, maybe you should call them to chat instead. This mode of communication is not working for you. FWIW, neither arm of my family uses WhatsApp the way you do, they are both more like the rest of your family.

FB is more suited to receiving compliments for cute photos. Perhaps use WhatsApp for making plans and FB for your pictures. You could also hold back pics unless people ask about what you've been up to, how are the kids etc. Let them start a conversation, then they are more likely to respond.

You can't change other people, just the way you react to them. Can you honestly imagine telling someone "I fell out with -family member- as they didn't like my WhatsApp photos," it sounds insane.

I’m a responder, but actually in many ways I don’t really care! Window dressing isn’t real OP. Don’t be offended. Do realise though that pics of your kids and your life in detail, isn’t going to be that interesting for people with busy lives. (I am laughing slightly how we are all soooo busy, yet we are on here!).

Honestly the pressure of your expectations is obvious and it would make me not respond at all. I'd be worried about saying the wrong thing.

Yup, I totally understand your annoyance! We set up a WhatsApp group to sent pics of our baby son to my parents at their request. My parents then start up another group to include my brother and SIL. So we posted a few pictures and get no nothing back from SIL/DB. So we go back to group 1, But my parents insist on posting in group 2 despite silence from DB/SIL. In fact the only thing they post are photos and videos of their kids. I feel obliged to acknowledge them, so now we're stuck in an odd 2 group scenario.

DB/SIL also have a group they set up for their holiday photos. When they are away we get bombarded with photos. It's very odd!

I agree with namechanged, two posts above (at the moment).

You say it's because you care but it comes across that you are hurt and care more about your own feelings.

Why such a big deal and can you not take a hint?