Bad school report

[Meme2019]

Just got my sons school report for year 2, it’s not good. Do we discuss the report with him?

If you draw a line with 'average' in the middle then there will be some on either side of that. I assume this is KS1 SATS, you should also have a written report with more detail.

Over the Summer encourage him to read, talk about his reading, get him to keep a diary, just a few words with photos etc., talk about numbers that he encounters in every day life, the bus is at 10 15, how long do we have to get to the bus-stop.

NO!
My ds was working below at yr2. Now top sets yr8.
This is a very vulnerable age and it sets beliefs about what we think we can and cant do. Encourage and then encourage some more!

DonkeyHohtay yes this.
Nix32 yes and this lol

agree with so many comments on here.do not put 'bad report' into a vunerable kids head please!

Kids learn at different rates OP and unfortunately the school system is a one size fits all expecting all kids to follow the same rate of progress. You have taken steps to help by getting a tutor so just continue with this and with lots of support from you he will get there. The most important thing is building his self confidence and self esteem so focus on the positives. He will already be aware that he is not as good as some others in his class and does not need reminding of this at home.

If it is any consolation my DC had similar reports at this age and achieved top marks in Y6 SATs.

You need to talk to the teacher - how can he best be supported at home and school, what are the best ways he can make progress. This may not be having a tutor and extra workbooks.

If you think there are underlying issues then discuss with the senco at school. Are there other areas of development or behaviour that lead you to think there may be underlying issues?

As others say, it may just be that he has a bit of catching up to do or that he has other strengths and he is not going to be academic.

Is he happy? Does he have friends? Does he have interests? Does he have fun?

NO!!
If you know your child is doing the best they can, please don’t go over the report and make him feel bad about it.
I had a similar report with dc2 when he was in Y1. I just started to work with him at the end of each school day. 10mins at the time. I worked with the teacher to see how to best support him, where he wa struggling, what sort if exercise to do etc... and I told her where I saw he was struggling.

A tutor is great but imo what is also essential is the day to day work you can do at home (like you would read everyday with them).
And YY to the psychologist if you are worried about some underlying issues (or to see how you could support him learning how to concentrate).

What does the Tutor say? What does his teacher say?
Nope don't discuss attainment with him. Don't lay more pressure on him. If his behaviour is good, then there is probably nothing he can do.
Do talk to him about things he find difficult. Do join the summer reading challenge - but do also let him do the best he can with the books (not too hard, of interest to him, and even a bit easy for his age). Do spend time with him over the summer and see where he has difficulties.
And do start keeping records of areas he struggles, things school say they will do, and what if anything helps.
BUt don't stress him out or make him feel a failure. Reward effort - even if that is just effort to focus.

I would suggest small pieces of support from you disguised as games:

• Magazines from the supermarket are great to work through the puzzles in. My kids (7 and 5) love going through a few pages with us at bedtime instead of a book sometimes.

• Although my youngest can count to 100, but I realised she couldn't recognise the stand-alone numbers. So we did a spotting-numbers game on the way to school - road signs etc. She picked it up really fast.

• Reading books before bed? You probably do that anyway.

• Board games - counting / dice etc.

• Some video games are really good for encouraging reading. Pokemon has lots of number use too.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it at this age, but I would up my level of support at home.

Lots of good comments above. You say you have concerns about his concentration and focus - yet this report is not negative about his behaviour. That aspect is fantastic, make sure you show him how pleased you are with that.

As to his attainment, and it being upsetting - is this partly because, no matter how much you've been discussing with the teacher what the difficulties are and trying to support them over the year, it is really quite distressing to have something put down on paper in black and white. Almost makes it "real" in a way it wasn't before.

Children respond remarkably strongly to "how good they think they are". So I would be very careful about the language you use around his areas of difficulty. Try to avoid "you are bad at maths" for example, perhaps "your counting is really good and I think you're going to be really good at "X" soon too". A combination of praise for what he can actually do, and positive expectations about the next step. His teacher may be able to help you work out the best things to support him on over the summer, I absolutely agree that skills that can be practised in games or shopping or cooking or trips out are going to be the most useful.

With regards to tutoring, I don't throw my hands up in horror at the idea of a 6/7 yr old having a tutor - my mother was a private remedial teacher and while she didn't take a lot of kids this age, if there was a particular issue she could make a lot of difference quickly, to allow them to catch up and progress rather than falling behind. It wasn't unusual for her to teach a child for a term or two, or longer, then have them back a few years later to help learn skills in secondary school. BUT you need a good tutor with appropriate experience who can see what your son needs help with and has a range of strategies to use. My mother also often came across children who had had a tutor for X years and it wasn't helping - because that tutor was inexperienced with children having difficulties and just tried to present more of the same as they would get in school, without understanding how to break it down further or look at it from a different direction or whatever. An inexperienced tutor may be great to help a child who has missed school work through illness or moving around or whatever, and just needs 1-1 time to catch up.

Tell your son he's brilliant and going to be brilliant, and then have a great summer holiday exploring all the things he can do.

Yes is his summer born, July, I know summer babies may struggle a bit, he is my first child so this is all new to me. People have told me he will catch up, but the school system makes you feel like both of us are failing.

I came to this group to ask for help, this is my first child, I didn’t know how to approach talking to my son about his school report or if I should even talk to him about. I don’t particularly care if his a child genius, his happiness is more important.

He’s a July baby. He is an entire 10 months younger than some of the other children! Think how much he can and will develop in 10 months.

Work with him on fun educational games like a PP suggested and make sure he has a safe and loving home life.

Can I just point out that ' the expected level' is now so completely inflated by the nobheads in government, that not meeting it does not mean that your child is academically poor.

The expectations are so ridiculous that I'm surprised that any year 2 meets them tbh.

Sen Teacher here- this is not an issue. Working below average is literally that, there's where most of the pupils are at and then there's some above and some below that. It's no big deal. He's 7. I'd stop the tutor, relax the pressure, if you are already talking about feeling like you are both failing then he will pick up on this anxiety. Read lots over the summer (summer reading challenge at most libraries) start a project; what is he into space? Birds? Make a whole project about it, write little bits, draw pictures, get him his own book to make into a project. Some kids just need a bit longer. He might have some additional problems, dyslexia or global leading issues but there's nothing to suggest it's anything other than needing a bit more time at the moment. A change of teacher can make a huge impact. You're doing great. Don't mention the report to him in a negative light, just say I got your report and I was very pleased that you are well behaved at school, well done.

My ds1 is august born. It took him until year 3 to properly catch up. I wouldn't be too worried - have a chat to his year 3 teacher to see how you can help and how they will help him in school. He is now 13 and excels in art and sport whilst 'average' and 'expected levels' in other areas.

OP, the important thing is to emphasise and praise the child for the effort he is putting in. If you can see he is trying really hard then praise him for it. Don’t talk to him about it in a way where he will get a message that he is “not as clever” because that will stick with him for life. He just needs to learn that the harder he works the better he will get. Research has shown that “clever kids” who are told they are “clever” suffer too because they believe they have a certain amount of smartness, and they are not taught that they need to work hard to be better. It can cause all sorts of issues down the line.

If he struggles with focus, do he also struggle with instructions and remembering each step of the tasks?

Jesus I was well below average at this age. I caught up around the middle of secondary. My daughter is the same and now she is in secondary things are clicking into place.

Both our problems stem from concentration. It took a while to learn how to learn.

I wouldn’t say it’s bad to him. That shit stays with you. Scores in SATs are bullshit designed to compare us to other people. You can’t quantify intelligence by asking kids to remember a few bits of maths and spelling.

File the “report” under B for bin and move on with your lives.

Get eyesight and hearing checked over the summer in case one of them is causing difficulties.

Try to help him develop a love of reading. Join the library, read to him, read with him, make up stories together.

Next term, give him a few weeks to settle then ask his teacher how he is doing. If there are any issues mentioned, ask for a meeting with the Senco and class teacher to find out what they are doing and what you can do to support him. Don't leave it until parents evening - 5/10 minutes is not enough time to discuss properly.

He’s six years old!!!!! Do not talk to him about a report that means stuff all. Do not get him a tutor!!!!! That is insanity. Read a few more books together at home and really make a fuss of any improvements no matter how small.

My (June born) son was at this stage when he was in Yr2. Just not interested. Could concentrate on lego or the TV with focus but not much else. Not interested in reading, writing or maths. Reading and writing particularly poor.

We have just got his SATs results. "Pass" is 100. Max is 120.

He got 118 in Grammar and Reading. 111 in Maths. So well above the national average. Well above expected.

Please do not worry about his academic attainment - he is still young and plenty of time to "get" it.

As PP said - reading challenge over the summer maybe (just to keep him practicing - not because you need to worry).

And see if you can get the button to push. For DS he loves cooking. So I used that. He wanted to cook at the weekends - so I told him he really needed to be able to help read recipes and write shopping lists in order to cook - so how about we get that skill sorted. It was like a light bulb moment for him - suddenly reading/writing became "a good thing" and he started putting some effort in. 4 years later he has excelled (and is a pretty good cook).

Aw, he’s only tiny. I really wouldn’t be speaking to him about a “bad” school report. He’s very young and that notwithstanding, although it doesn’t seem it given the endless posts there are on MN about genius children, some kids just aren’t very academic. I wouldn’t mention it to him but perhaps speak to the school for guidance on how you can best support him

Just tell him the good bits and keep supporting him in practical ways as per PPs ideas.

Reports are not perfect. Teachers are sometimes tired and a bit tactless by the time of writing, despite the best intentions. DD's Y2 report was bizarre - on the same page it said she had made consistent progress all year, and also that she was inconsistent . She achieved very well academically, was described as "well-liked", every teacher bar one described her as focused, trying hard, doing her best etc. The remaining teacher went to town describing her as disengaged, distracted, limiting her own progress through not listening etc etc...I realised DD is not very good at hiding when she is bored shitless in that one teacher's subject! Clearly politeness is important and I'll be working on that with DD, but I'm not worried she genuinely lacks focus as that one teacher believed.

Working at 'below expectations' isn't a 'bad' report. Children have a spectrum of abilities.

I would discuss with the class teacher what they think may be the cause of not achieving expected levels, and what they would suggest to improve attainment.

I wouldn't share anything negative from a report with a child, unless there was a clear plan of how this information sharing may benefit the child. Eg if behavioural, to work out behaviour management strategy.

Telling a child they aren't achieving the expected level would just sent their confidence. It may be that your child is working to their own individual potential.