To not understand graduations?

[notjustanexpat]

I have several degrees. Always attended graduation in person, because family and DP were excited to attend and "see me graduate". I did not hate it but also gained nothing from it, besides getting the physical degree earlier than I would have if it were mailed.

I will also happily attend other people's graduation ceremonies and cheer for them. If it is important to them, of course I will be there to celebrate them!

But I do not get it. Why would anyone want to travel back to their place of study and spend a small fortune, to sit around an overheated hall for 2h just to walk on a stage for less than 30 seconds. Why not go out and have nice local dinner instead, or throw a big local party?

If you're still living where you studied, sure, why not - but most people I know moved away in between finishing the course and the graduation ceremony. I always had to travel and/or pay 1-2 months rent when I could have been elsewhere, actually working.

I get the desire to celebrate getting a degree but the ceremony is just beyond me. I have already graduated. If I don't attend, the degree is still signed - the ceremony is only symbolic!

My PhD graduation will be next year and DH + family are really excited to attend. Travel time, one-way: 3.5h(us), 10h (family). Money: min. £300 for us, probably 4 digits per person for my family.

I am seriously considering to graduate in absentia, have a local party with family after finishing any corrections (all family live in the same place) and have a nice dinner with DH the day the degree comes through.

AIBU?

That’s crazy. It’s one day of uncharacteristic pomp and ceremony.

I remember before my first graduation ceremony we were all waiting to go in and our absolutely beloved favourite lecturer came by, who had always had a talent for seeing the absurd in life, in his full academic garb and gathered together his students and was chatting and said, "Now remember when it all gets a bit overly pompous that you're not the one having to walk along with a giant pompom on your head like I am"... we spent most of the opening part of the ceremony trying not to burst into laughter as a result.

To be honest I could have taken or left my first graduation - I went mainly for my terminally ill grandmother to have the big day out and see the first in the family graduate uni. Didn't go to the leaving ceremony for my PGCE - I hated the people on the course who'd bullied me and just wanted out of the place forever.

About to start a second degree and I will damn well be going to the graduation for that one - I've worked my arse off to get back into a position where I got on the course and I want my kids to see their mum graduate!

We never got to wear a fecking mortar board mind - the uni I first went to doesn't have their undergrads wear them... and the hood was crap as well - no pretty coloured bits to it.

I didn't attend mine the thought of having to go up on stage in a gown and cap and not trip filled me with huge anxiety. I think my parents were slightly disappointed but we did have a meal to celebrate when my degree came through

I didn't go to university. None of my family went to university so if I had gone (I was accepted, a change of circumstances occurred) I'd have damn well wanted the graduation ceremony! For some people, it isn't a given that they'll graduate. For some people's families it would be a huge deal. For them, the ceremony is hugely important and marks the end of much hard work.

@Benes
Well, given over 60% of graduate jobs don't ask for a particular degree subject, quite a lot.

So you're saying most humanities degrees are unused? In your experience?

So you're saying most humanities degrees are unused? In your experience?

Quite the opposite. Many employers value the skills developed in those types of degrees.....they understand the value of a university education and the value of employing from a wide range of disciplines. Just because a job description doesn't specify a degree in history doesn't mean that degree isn't being used. If you look at the learning outcomes and course specifications of courses such as history and philosophy the skills and aptitudes they expect students to develop are the skills and aptitudes employers are looking for.

A degree in ANY subject is valuable if you approach it that way.

I am 38 and when I finish my foundation degree I will be attending my graduation. If I do the third top up year or go into nursing I will attend that graduation too.

I left school with awful GCSEs and didn't go back to education until around 5 years ago. I can't wait to wear that stupid bloody cap! Then we will all go off to a restaurant and celebrate some more.

I went to mine and enjoyed the day, I had a hard 3 years at uni and it was nice to have an enjoyable ending. I liked the pictures and throwing my hat around as I doubt I will be going back to uni anytime soon.
But on a different topic those nursery and primary school graduations are ridiculous.

I didn't go to my graduation because I thought it would be boring as fuck.

Ten years later and I have to sit through them for work (I work in events at a university). And guess what? I was right. They are exceedingly pointless, long and boring.

I am supposed to be all excited when it's graduation time but instead I just remain incredulous about how anyone can bring themselves to care.

Agreed OP. Its for the family. But i will say... My family (grands and parents) cherish the pictures. Even more than wedding photos. Personally think its weird, but glad to have given them pleasure.

I am surprised that so many say they attend especially because they struggled. Part of the reason I cannot really be bothered to attend my PhD graduation is because it included a long stretch of studying/researching full-time, working part-time and caring for a family member full-time. Easily the most stressful time of my life, I was constantly on the verge of breaking down - and I had already been used to working upwards of 80h/week at that point. Throw in some sexual harassment from a superior (who then was offended I didn't let them get away with it and made my life hell...) and I kind of just want the whole thing done and over with. Time to move on to happier times! Also, a 40h-week - I cannot wait for that! It sounds like the best thing ever right now!

I am in the sciences, btw, and at least our graduate stats show that very few of them use their degree. The maths aspects are likely to come in handy but most don't work in anything related to their studies. The official stats include people who go on to do a Masters and those who are in part-time retail work (i.e. same job they did while studying). That is why unis boost that more 95% of their graduates are in employment - they are, just not because of their degree. I've taught at a few unis now and strangely, none point this out to their students...
Any degree will help to develop transferable skills but you can easily get those while working. Perhaps I have just become a little too cynical when it comes to academic qualifications.

That is why unis boost that more 95% of their graduates are in employment - they are, just not because of their degree. I've taught at a few unis now and strangely, none point this out to their students...

If you actually look at these figures there are two reported - an overall employment figure and a a graduate employment figure.

Anyway, how universities report on employability is changing and there is to be some recognition of the wider aspects - it's not helpful to anyone (students, universities or employers) to place so much emphasis on a direct correlation between subject studied and employment.

Perhaps I have just become a little too cynical when it comes to academic qualifications

I'm afraid you do sound very cynical and jaded. Higher education can be a transformative experience for many people. Lets not lose sight of that.

I was the first one to get a degree on my family and they were none the wiser that there was a ceremony. I will probably go to my next one though!

I also have several degrees. I went to my first graduation as it felt special and my parents were very excited. I went to my most recent one as it was my highest qualification and I completed it despite having a very difficult couple of years personally when I nearly quit on more than one occasion. It felt like I needed to acknowledge my achievement.
I didn’t go to the ones in between because they didn’t feel as significant and I felt once was enough (although now twice!)
It’s up to the individual and if is your first/ only graduation then it is special I think.

The OP must be loaded

As others have said, not necessarily. Most of my postgraduate study has been funded by my employer or other organisations.

The OP got funding because she worked her ass off to get into a position to get it and then worked part-time on top of it. Daughter of a working-class single mum and while she did everything in her power to help me, I lived abroad and had to look after myself. So yeah, definitely no loaded parents.

Yes, you can have made the 'change' from working class to middle class, be the first and still only person to graduate from uni in the family and still feel 'meh' about graduations - partly because to me, finishing an apprenticeship or jumping successfully into work straight out of school is just as awesome as finishing a degree. Let's not generalise, please. I asked with the sincere attempt to understand this, so all the replies are very interesting to me.

I am just rubbish at knowing where people find funding. Always have been. Its like a hidden world to me.

@breathing I didn't have to go hunting for it. It was suggested that I apply to the AHRC (AHRB as was) for MA funding in the final year of my degree, & then it was assumed that I'd apply for the PhD funding the following year.

I wouldn't have done either of them if they hadn't been funded.

@notjustanexpat I do get the impression that you do a lot of these ceremonies (graduation, wedding, birthday parties) while claiming that you have no interest in it and you're just doing it to make other people happy.

I have to say I'm a bit sceptical about that. I think it's all bollocks so I've never done any ceremony, for anything, and no one really gives a toss. If you genuinely didn't like the attention/fuss/ceremony, you wouldn't do it at all (be honest).

I really object to this idea that the only reason for education is to be directly useful in a job. That’s training. Education is much more, and is valuable in and of itself. As PPs have pointed out, though, the process of doing a degree develops the sort of skills which are relevant in many jobs. You can’t take a narrow view on the relevance of study.
I loved my own graduation day and I love my DDs. They were a great celebration of what had been achieved and I always like an opportunity for a celebration!
YANBU not to want to go to your own. YABU to say you ‘don’t understand’. You clearly do, it’s obvious in your comments about the ones you attend professionally.

I'll be 49 when I graduate. I left school with 3 GCSEs and have had a life of bad luck combined with some poor choices. So I'll be at my graduation (if all goes to plan) with the gown and cap which I may decorate with bunting and fairy lights

Damn I clicked the wrong button! One of your YANBU is meant to be a YABU

Go for your family's sake. I only have one degree and was the first in my immediate family to go to University so my parents were very proud and thrilled to see all the ceremony and robes etc. That was 1984 BTW

My DD graduated a couple of years ago and wild horses wouldn't have kept me from the ceremony. So lovely to see her swishing around in the gown.

Mine was fab. Like some previous posters it was held at the end of term before anyone had left. Everyone was called up individually by name, the chancellor (Margot Fonteyn - she did every graduation ceremony every year while she was chancellor) spoke to each one of us individually, the college put on lunch for all of us and our families afterwards. It was a lovely way to say goodbye to uni and uni friends.

YANBU to not like them for yourself but YABU to not understand why others may enjoy them.

My parents and silbling came to mine and I went to my own and those of my siblings and my children too - I woudl be disappointed not to. It's a wonderful thing to celebrate and a chance fo parents to meet your lecturers, friends, have some nice photos etc.

Graduations. Meh. Who needs to celebrate?

Birthdays - waste of time, just another day. Same as Christmas. A lot of fuss and bother, waste of money.

Don't get me started on weddings. Who needs to do that in front of all their friends. 5 minutes at the registry office, all it needs.

🙄 It must be exhausting to suck all the joy out of life.