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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Date ended up meeting her friends ...aibu to be annoyed?

59 replies

yetrer · 12/07/2019 22:09

I've been dating her for about 2 months now.
Anyway we had a date and we planned to spend the day /night together.
We had a few drinks in the pub and her friend text (who I've socialised with a few times too )
She said let's go meet her and her boyfriend.
So we only got 2 hours just the two of us and the rest of the time was with her friend and friends b/f
I was a little annoyed as I just wanted time together.
Aibu ?

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 12/07/2019 22:11

YABU: why don’t you want to meet her friends?

Rachelover40 · 12/07/2019 22:11

You could have said you didn't fancy it on that occasion.
It's quite normal for couples to meet up with other couples.

Macca84 · 12/07/2019 22:12

YABU

The pub is a social environment. If you go to the pub, you should probably expect the possibility of socialising with others. If you don't want that, a bottle of wine at home is a good option

flowery · 12/07/2019 22:14

YABU unless this happens every time you go out.

Blubluboo · 12/07/2019 22:17

It isn't like it was a first date. If you didnt fancy it you could have said. So on that basis I think YABU

Hwory · 12/07/2019 22:18

You’ve been together two months - nows the time to integrate your lives.

Yabu your title makes it sound like she ditched you,

sackrifice · 12/07/2019 22:18

You do sound a bit needy, are you going to now start alienating her from her support network?

Swellerellamoo · 12/07/2019 22:19

Grip

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/07/2019 22:24

I’m with you but for different reasons. I wouldn’t want to socialise with somebody’s friends after so short a time because it implies I’m going to stick around - and after only a few weeks I quite frankly don’t know whether I am.

So, I suppose, look on the bright side - she sees you as something serious.

Original poster
yetrer · 12/07/2019 22:43

In the 2 months we have only met 6 times

OP posts:
Original poster
yetrer · 12/07/2019 22:44

I do want to eventually but I want to get to know her on and one to one basis first

OP posts:
Keepthebloodynoisedown · 12/07/2019 22:44

Date implies 1st or at a push 2nd or 3rd date with someone. Surely it’s normal to meet up with friends sometimes when you’ve been seeing each other for 2 months.

Whisky2014 · 12/07/2019 22:47

Yabu! She's keen to include you in her life.
I hope you're not the controlling type!

Omzlas · 12/07/2019 22:53

YABU

She feels comfortable enough for you to socialise with her friends

You could have just say "I'm not really up for that tonight"?

Leeds2 · 12/07/2019 22:54

Fwiw, I would be pissed off too!

Boom25 · 12/07/2019 22:56

YABU and sound controlling.

SamBeckett · 12/07/2019 22:59

I'll go against the grain , I think YANBU , .
If you have planed to spend the evening / night together it can be awkward to shake off the friends that she wants to meet up with so you do not get to spend a nice evening together .
May be next time you need to make it a little clearer that you would like just the two of you to go out together then the time after that her friends and your friends can all meet up and a big group of you all go out .

Original poster
yetrer · 12/07/2019 22:59

How does me wanting to spend time with her alone make me controlling?
I still barely know her,I thought the whole point of dating was to get to know a person.
The night I hardly spoke to her.

OP posts:
Booboooo · 12/07/2019 23:05

Take it as a.compliment that she wants you to meet her friends

bingbongnoise · 12/07/2019 23:07

@yetrer

She's just not that into you.

Oscal · 12/07/2019 23:08

She probably wanted her friends’ opinion of you. If you acted a bit pissed off then I don’t expect it will be a good opinion. YABU, a pub is for socialising in and she is obviously a sociable person with friends. If you’re not keen on spending time with them as well as her then you might not be compatible

Rachelover40 · 12/07/2019 23:10

yetrer Fri 12-Jul-19 22:59:10
How does me wanting to spend time with her alone make me controlling?
I still barely know her,I thought the whole point of dating was to get to know a person.
The night I hardly spoke to her.
...

You're still alive to tell the tale so the experience couldn't have harmed you.
You can be on your own next time.

PooWillyBumBum · 12/07/2019 23:11

You sound incredibly uptight. YABU. When I opened it I thought it was going to say first date!

TanMateix · 12/07/2019 23:20

Oh god, I would run a mile if someone wanted to have her friends’ opinion of me. Let’s hope that she just feels comfortable with you.

WorraLiberty · 12/07/2019 23:30

YANBU because you'd planned to spend the day/night together and then she changed that on a whim, because her friend sent a text.

That's different to planning a night out with her and her friends.

If I'd only been dating someone for 2 months and he wanted to change our date plan at the click of his friend's fingers, I'd have told him to go on without me and I'd have gone out somewhere else for the night with my own friends.

Actually forget that last bit, I probably would've dumped him Grin

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