AIBU to think you need money to be an ethical rainbow mum?

[RhubarbJuice]

So I go to a baby group, and there's a group of mums there, all very nice, but all quite similar in that they dress their children in organic clothes, the mums themselves often match in the adult versions, they have special reusable lunch boxes and coffee cups and all sorts. They are all very zero waste and anti plastic, which I agree with, we should all do our bit. One of them recommended these hair conditioning cubes which are zero plastic and good for your hair. I went online to look, the guts of £12 they cost! I have very thick hair so lucky to get a few weeks out of them

It's the same with the toys, they're very into their wooden toys, and as the babies were approaching their first birthdays, the conversation came up, and they're all spending hundreds on ethically made blocks and wooden rainbows. They worship this rainbow. One of them brought one to the group, and all the babies did love it.

AIBU to feel it's a shame its so expensive to do this kind of thing? I'd love to be able to afford all this stuff and go organic and plastic free, but it would cost me a fortune. Guess I'll have to stick with tupperware and second hand clothes for my DC!

I do draw the line at some of the clothes though, one mum was in a matching rainbow mushroom dress as her daughter.

A quick aside question: why are there links to 'lunchboxes' and 'tupperware' appearing in posts on this thread?

MN introduced it a while ago oybbk, for certain words/phrases. There are just a lot of popular ones on this thread!

Good for them impressed

There are just a lot of popular ones on this thread!

Who knew lunch boxes, tupperware, trampolines and water bottles were popular enough to have their own pages.

I agree OP. I love grimms toys and scandi clothes so I am on a few related groups. Some of the 'stashes' people have are a bit much tbh, especially with the clothes and cloth nappies. It really is just the same old consumerism. I only buy what I can afford and what my children like but I can see how people get caught up in the hype and I wonder how they can afford it.

It's quite rare to pick up these bits and pieces for a reasonable cost second hand, as all in they usually sell for 10-15% less then the RRP and sell very quickly.

Should add you can buy entire outfits from sainsburys for the cost of one Duns t-shirt (or similar). I know why they are cheaper but if your skint it's a no brainer, it's rare to find decent kids clothes in charity shops around here.

Some green stuff is expensive and some is cheap.
I wouldn't know what organic clothes were if they fell on my head, but I think that low income people are generally greener: less likely to fly often, less likely to drive much and if they do in smaller cars, less likely to overwash themselves or their clothes or to waste gas and lectric, live in smaller houses, etc.

I buy nearly all my clothes and my DCs' on local FB sites. Trainers, coats, uniform, all barely worn. Saves a fortune. Ebay is good too.

I had no idea what a grins rainbow was. Quick Google it's a £60 toy. Quick eBay search you can buy the same thing for £15

Not sure what the issue is here. You sound the same as people annoyed that their baby is in tesco grows not ted baker.

"Not sure what the issue is here."

I'm sure the issue is quite clear. OP is being pressurised into doing these 'green' things that she can't afford.

(have an old Tupperware box in my cupboard which is over 50 years old & is still going strong - nice to know reusing old things comes under being environmentally friendly :) )

& some of this so called organic clothes & fancy toys aren't as environmentally friendly as reusing the plastic version which don't have airmiles

They have the trappings of what they believe to be an environmentally friendly lifestyle, imho. Just a different type of consumerism.

Firstimpressionsofearth

The Ebay version won't be the same, probably won't even be CE tested.

I'm not sure how the OP is being pressurised into doing anything?

You need time. It’s all very well to get all your stuff ‘preloved’ but it takes much longer than 3 clicks on amazon or any other online outlet. Having said that People without money are often forced to be more ethical because they have no financial choice but to shop in charity shops or car boot sales; and they manage to squeeze it in between 3 jobs. And they buy less. You don’t need to be wealthy to be an ethical rainbow mum, but if you want everything organic rather than preloved it helps.

Me and DD1 probably counted as that 'type' when she was little back in the Dark Ages early 1990s.

It didn't cost me much, as I was too skint to do that - DD's clothes and toys came from NCT nearly new sales and hand me downs from other mums, my clothes came from the Buddhist Centre's charity shop (so were very rainbow-y), I used eco friendly cleaning products, stuff not tested on animals/vegetarian certified and I bought a lot of food from the health food shop they had a share in next door.

Even now, I still use eco products, detest pointless plastic and all our soft fruit is organically grown. The latter is because I shoved plants out in the garden when I moved in and they provide a year's worth with freezing and jamming, despite absolutely zero effort from me the rest of the year. And I still think the best reusable wipe was invented many years ago - it's called a flannel.

It's nice to know that the things I had the piss ripped out of me for all those years ago isn't such a bad thing now.

I'm not sure how the OP is being pressurised into doing anything?

Because grown ups, and particularly those who may be vulnerable in new motherhood, or trying to find their people as there is less real life community cohesion leading people to look for it online instead, are not immune to marketing and peer pressure.

Lots of the brands involved have companion groups on social media that sell this idea of a community and likemindedness. I know people in real life who have spoken to people they may not have otherwise spoken to because they've noticed the particular kind of sling they're carrying their baby in. Or that they're using cloth nappies. Or they've spotted "Frugi in the wild" in areas where you don't see a lot of children wearing it. People want to fit in with those they see as being similar to themselves. Hence, pressure.

I am a totally accidental Rainbow mum

My darling had upwards of 3 poonamis a day, so using reusable nappies was a no brainer.

From there I got onto Frugi, which is pretty much all she wears right now because I like the designs, it fits her nappy bum and I like the quality. It also sells on well so not that much more expensive than supermarket clothes. I also only buy it secondhand or in the sale.

DD has a lovely cache of wooden toys, but they are all gifts, secondhand or really good bargains. I bought a lovely wooden kitchen for 40, should have been 75, a wooden dolls pram for 25, should have been over 50 and my best bargain yet is a wooden castle down to 20 from 70. I also have a bargain train set stashed. The castle and the train set are for this years and next Christmas...

She only has two toys I splurged on, a Grimm's rainbow for her first Christmas (her only present) that my husband calls mummy's rainbow because she's not been allowed to play with it yet. My defense is that it has brought a lot of joy as an ornament so far and it's worth more than I have paid for it because it's in pristine condition . Also hormones...

The other one is her only doll, but it was a handmade Waldorf doll and only bought because my husband said he thought it was stupid . I am so happy that it's by far her favourite toy.

I use a baby carrier, primarily because I live in a flat without a lift and can't be arsed lugging the pram up and down.

My DD has a lovely steel Klean Kanteen bottle, but only because she has managed to ruin two previous ones and I wanted something a bit longer lasting.

Other eco habits that I have got include using bar soap (because I'm allergic to liquid soap), breastfeeding my toddler (because I can't be arsed to stop), using reusable sanpro and breast pads (because I am allergic to common brands and too cheap to splurge on eco stuff), using reusable make up wipes (because I am allergic). The list goes on.

I do draw the line on wearing Scandi stuff myself. It really is not my thing. I do have a lovely keepcup though, but that was a Christmas present.

I know all these "ethical" products look lovely, but you have to break the programming - you can't consume your way out of overconsumption (which is what most of our environmental crisis is). Don't buy into the greenwashing.

The most environmentally sound actions are to not buy new and not to buy much. So to be ethical you don't actually need much money.

A lot of less well off parents using primark clothes and disposable nappies will, overall, be using far fewer resources than a lot of well off mums who keep buying lots of new "green" branded products and experiences. (Though it would be better to buy secondhand cotton clothes and reuseable nappies if they're practical for your living situation).

I agree with all the posters saying buying secondhand is definitely the greenest of all the options! Charity shops can’t cope with all the clothes they get anyway, which means lots of it eventually ends up in landfills, so buying secondhand not only reduces waste but also saves you blindly fueling the organic cotton bandwagon, which is no picnic for the environment either from a water consumption perspective. It takes about 290 gallons of water to grow enough regular cotton to make a t-shirt, but something like 660 gallons to make the same out of organic cotton. (qz.com/990178/your-organic-cotton-t-shirt-might-be-worse-for-the-environment-than-regular-cotton/). Food for thought.

A lot of what DC have is second hand. Got a massive second hand toot toot set on Facebook for £20. Also recently bought a secondhand wooden kitchen, again £20. I loved that rainbow but brand new cost no bloody way. In fact no bloody way to second hand prices either, still soooo expensive but so pretty I also get a lot of clothes from the local kids clothes exchange. If you've got a young baby it's excellent as most people will start by bringing in baby stuff first so there's loads.

It can get very expensive if you buy new organic clothes and expensive wooden toys. You can still be eco on the cheap though.

I'm torn about this stuff. I think the wooden toys are beautiful and I love brightly coloured children's clothes. I also 'do my bit' by reducing plastic etc. However, sometimes the eco-branding stuff just feels like another way of persuading people to consume more which seems to miss the eco point really. I see people on FB boasting they have 3 expensive flasks and new matching organic clothes for the whole family and it doesn't seem like a different mentality from people who have the latest designer labels. And of course it's much better to own less stuff in general and buy second hand.

I think it's quite telling that this thread is triggering the link generator so much