To not want my SIL to be like this?

[jonesyyy]

Must mention my SIL is young in comparison to myself, she is 15 years old. I get on with her well despite the age difference, but she does things that really get on my nerves:

• Often disturbs my baby DS by picking him up when he's sleeping, despite me telling her to leave him be no matter how many times.

• Helps herself to food and drink at my house without asking beforehand.

• Brings her pyjamas when she comes over so that she can go to sleep (in our bed!). Again without asking.

• Asks for lifts 24/7 when we don't live anywhere near, knowing that we would have to go out of our way.

• Says she's going to the toilet, but when I go upstairs to see if she's okay when she's been up there a while I find her rooting through my make up using it without asking me first.

What can I do!? She doesn't listen to anybody and thinks she can do what she wants. It's driving me up the wall.

Don’t answer the door to her until she can act her age.

Why are you letting her in?!

@SagAloojah she turns up with MIL so I never know when she's coming unfortunately

Don’t let her in.
Get your DH or her mother to tell her she’s being out of order!

Don't give her lifts.

Don't invite her to come stay. Tell her why. Tell her that when she starts minding you and her manners, then maybe she'll be allowed to come and stay again.

Get DH to tell MIL she can’t come until she learns to act her age!

She's a typical 15 year old girl. Tell your husband to have a word... She probably won't listen.

Does she do this at her mother's house or just at yours?

Have you spoken to your MIL about this - not in a confrontational way, but asking her for advice?

Your dh needs to sort it out.

My 15 year old would never do this!

She's in dire want and need of being educated as to how to behave in another person's house.

Speak to her. You’re allowed to you know! Put her straight every time she does something you don’t like.

On one hand she’s 15 on the other she should know better based on her age and your MIL/DH should be dealing with this. I’d have a words

Have you posted about her before?

It sounds like she's treating you as a sister to me

She honestly doesn't listen. She has such a sense of entitlement no one around her sees it but me and everyone is scared to say something to her because she flies off the handle.

@TheSpottedZebra nope

Next time she comes, sit her down with MIL and lay down your rules.
Tell her if she breaks your rules in your home then she’s no longer welcome until she’s grown up.

I never acted like this when I was 15. She needs it explaining to her that it's unacceptable.. Whether or not she listens though is another matter

Posted too soon

When my little sister comes round she helps herself to food and drinks, uses my hair products, make up, straighteners, etc, and borrows my clothes. She even had a nap in my bed on the morning of my wedding!

It's nice she feels so comfortable in your home.

Well, I'd be sitting down with her and MIL, explaining the ground rules of conduct at our house, and the consequences for breaking them. i.e, being asked to leave. . .

She’s just a kid, who doesn’t have the emotional intelligence yet to understand that her brothers wife doesn’t like her and has no intention of treating her like a sister.

If I were in your shoes I’d feel happy that she felt so comfortable with me and in my home.

If she comes to your house, either don't let her in (and tell her why) or follow her around from room to room and stop her doing what you don't want her to do. She needs to be told! And say no to lifts etc. I'd have a straight conversation with her along the lines of "you are disrespecting me and my house so you can't come here until you learn some manners and do as I say in my house". Stand up for yourself woman!

She's a typical 15 year old girl.

Er, no, she's not. My DSD who is 15 wouldn't root through other people's bedrooms, steal their makeup and wake their babies!

OP you need to tell her in front of MIL that she's not on and deal with whatever fallout comes.

We appear to be raising a generation of entitled, pompous and disrespectful children who are never told no, never have any consequences for shocking bad behaviour and can't be told what to do.

I mean ffs, I'm a pretty laid back Mum but I'd be really embarrassed and angry if my children behaved like that. I'd be embarrassed if my 6 yo DD did it let alone the 15 yo!

Teaching respect for other people's homes is so important, if you don't think so, you're probably raising one of the children described above. Who are an absolute PITA to deal with at work as adults.

her brothers wife doesn’t like her and has no intention of treating her like a sister.

She doesn't like her behaviour. (I'd be homicidal if someone woke my sleeping baby).

I was thirteen years younger than my oldest sister, and 7 years younger than the next youngest. I would never have dreamed of behaving in such a rude and entitled fashion in their homes, and by crikey, they sure as heck wouldn't have put up with it. That's not being treated as a sister, that's being treated like an inferior and a doormat.

She's a teenager , she will take the piss unless you put her straight. Just say no and remind her not to do things that are rude/intrusive/unacceptable.