To think it's perfectly fine to expect 15 year old and 13 year old DC to put their own washing away?

[BenWillbondsPants]

I have just had a friend round and as we were chatting, I was sorting out some dry washing into piles. I had a pile for DS (15) and a pile for DD (13). I normally put them on their beds and expect them to put them away.

I made a casual 'wonder how many times I'll have to ask DS to put these away' jokey kind of comment and friend was horrified that I don't do this for him. He's 15. He's perfectly capable of putting his own pants in his drawer and putting the rest of his clothes in the wardrobe. Same with DD. She seems to think that I am a dreadfully lazy mother and made some comment about 'looking after' her DCs 'properly' in a 'I'm only joking but I'm not really' way.

So, dear reader, is it me?

And I now have NO idea why the word piles is now a link to another thread on piles and constipation ...

YANBU! My 11 year old puts hers away so even younger than yours. I also dont take the piles upstairs for them, they sit on the stairs and they are expected to lift them when passing.

I'm horrified she thinks they can't do it. How on earth will they grow up to be competent adults if they don't even know how to put socks in a drawer?

I leave mines clothes on beds. The youngest is 9.

Your friend is the one who's being unreasonable. I'm married to a man whose mother did everything for him until he left home. Trust me when I say it does your children no favours in their adult life and in future relationships if you don't teach them self responsibility at a young age, before the damage is done!

No way, I can't remember how old my DD was but it would have been a lot younger than 15!

Part of our job is to bring the kids up to be responsible, functioning, kind adults!
Not to wait on them hand and foot until they decide to move on! 🙈

And I make my under fives do this! (well, their underwear at least)

I used to sort and it folded piles in a box per person when youngest was about 12. They weren’t very good at it and just transferred the piles to the wardrobe or their bed, but hey, they had clean clothes.
(Just wanted to say piles as many times as I could😆)

My 7 and 9 year olds do this. My 3 year old opens the right drawers for me to put her clothes in, she dies her own pants and socks. The older 3 take turns to put the laundry in the wash and turn it on too. Household jobs need to be taught at a young age so when they move out it’s all second nature.

At that age they should be washing and drying it too ....

I totally agree with you.

I sort and fold all of the clean laundry downstairs. My DH and the DDs (two still living at home) are then all expected to collect their own pile and take it upstairs.

The worst offender by far for ignoring hers is my DD3, who is 16. I have to harangue her to do it, and recently had to say that if she didn't do it then I would be bagging her stuff up and taking it to the charity shop. She stropped briefly (which was ignored) and funnily enough was suddenly able to do the job.

I think she's a dreadfully lazy mother if she's still putting her kids washing away at that age, rather than requiring and ensuring they do it themselves, and she's not growing good adults properly. . .

they should be completely doing their own laundry at this age!

YANBU at all... mine are younger than that and have been doing it for ages. Does she expect you to wipe their backsides too?

Sorting out the washing is one of the chores that my kids have been doing since they were 9 years old! They sort into piles and put away their own clothes. Each family member collects their pile and puts it away. I can't for the life of me imagine why someone would be shocked at a 15 year old doing it!!

That's the chores in my house; each day when I get in from work I expect the washing sorted and the dishes dried and put away. The kids alternate the tasks each day. Seems very reasonable to me!

I hate to enter into the one-upmanship but aged ten and a half, at boarding school in Africa, we had to do all our washing, including white sheets (inspected six days a week) and towels, by hand. My mum didn’t want me to go to boarding school (I thought it would be like Mallory Towers!) but it was when I continued doing my laundry at home, unprompted, that she finally came around.

My 8 and 10 yr olds have been doing this for ages!
Age 4 or 5 I used to help the little one, but if they put it away they know where to find it the next time they want it.

My DC were (mostly) doing their own laundry from about 13/14. If I had some of my own to do them i’d always ask if they had any, but mostly they did their own.
Your friend is not doing her DC any favours for the future.

Mine (14 and 17) both put their washing away. They also are responsible for putting in different loads of washing and for folding it off the airer. YANBU!

By the way @MNHQ, please, pretty please can you look at these auto links???
They are not always appropriate, and I think we need a system of knowing if you have auto added them or the poster has added them

My dc start putting away - with a little help their own laundry at 5.
By 13 they are also washing and drying it themselves.

My 2 are 8 & 6. DH and I fold the washing and DC take the washing upstairs and put their own away themselves and ours on our bed. It’s usually a family activity on a Saturday morning). DH has taken some training (his mother did everything for him). I refuse to allow my DS in particular to think that it’s my job (and his DP in years to come) to do the house work. Your friend is not doing her DC any favours.

This woman is doing a disservice to her children. is she really Walter Mitty enough to think that raising lazy young adults who are not expected to contribute in the household in which they live is in anyway useful to them or those they go onto live with!?

Mine have been doing it since they were in primary school. And plenty of other chores as well.

No child of mine will be leaving my hime not knowing how to look after themselves. I'm not raising entitled lazy-arse man children like their father

How odd. Putting away laundry is a chore even young children can do, I’m pretty sure it’s the first chore I got DD doing regularly. In a few years time when your friend’s children leave home they’re going to find it very hard to adjust to looking after themselves.