To think it's perfectly fine to expect 15 year old and 13 year old DC to put their own washing away?

[BenWillbondsPants]

I have just had a friend round and as we were chatting, I was sorting out some dry washing into piles. I had a pile for DS (15) and a pile for DD (13). I normally put them on their beds and expect them to put them away.

I made a casual 'wonder how many times I'll have to ask DS to put these away' jokey kind of comment and friend was horrified that I don't do this for him. He's 15. He's perfectly capable of putting his own pants in his drawer and putting the rest of his clothes in the wardrobe. Same with DD. She seems to think that I am a dreadfully lazy mother and made some comment about 'looking after' her DCs 'properly' in a 'I'm only joking but I'm not really' way.

So, dear reader, is it me?

Basically what everyone else said. Its the very easiest of chores and primary aged children should be doing it (whether or not they are doing it or not is another matter - my 9 year old looks at his pile and claims not to know where it all lives every single time - I always end up helping him)

They don't do their own washing. Its too much like hard work for me. DS1 won't touch anyone elses clothes, and DS2 gets a bit button -pressy for my liking. Even DH can't quite figure out the washing machine (I have laminated instructions on the wall for him on the odd occasion I leave him to it)

Yanbu I started getting DS to put his clothes away at 14 and DD when she was 14. They often don’t put them away right away but it makes my life a lot easier.

My teen DD1 13 and DD2 9 are pretty the same helping to put all our piles, stripping their own beds, learning to start loads and ironing but don't do their own laundry separately. How does this work?

YANBU. I grew up with a mother who always insisted on doing everything for us and never taught us basic skills because she wanted us "to have a childhood" . It did nothing for my confidence.

In many cases, I actually think that kind of parenting goes hand in hand with controlling behaviour and even emotional abuse. The parent keeps the child helpless and then constantly "affectionately" mocks them for not knowing how to do things they've never been taught, or expects a crippling heavy debt of grateful "because I do everything for you" . At least, that was my experience.

My 11yo puts her own washing away!

I used to do all the laundry together, then sort the five kids' washing into separate piles (to avoid the otherwise inevitable fighting about whose clothes were whose) and put the clean washing on their beds. Whereupon they would throw them on the floor, stir them around, mix them in with the dirty clothes, and eventually tidy up by bringing them all downstairs and putting them back in with the laundry, for the process to repeat. Some things would be washed multiple times without ever being worn.

They've all turned out normally enough, and, as adults, they seem to maintain their own laundry satisfactorily...

Congratulations, OP, this is the first thread I've seen with a 100% vote! I think it's nice of you to take their washing upstairs and leave it on their beds. Your children will grow up to be adults who don't expect the world to wait on them. Good for you.

What's the point in teens doing their own laundry separately? I understand asking them to wash their own bedding or to put on a load of everyone's clothes, but just their own clothes? I wouldn't want to wait to have enough for a full load of just my clothes, I'd rather just add my teenagers clothes too.

I do all the laundry together at the weekend and then sort it into a named basket for each kid 8-16 (youngest one and DH help). Each basket gets delivered to relevant kids door to be put away. I do 8 year olds. The others inevitably stay where they are for 5/6 days, occasionally having desired items plucked out. All "where is my ...?" are directed back to the basket. On the 7th day, as they are starting to run out of pants and all the "Where is my"'s are dirty again, I yell at them as I am about to start the washing that anything not bought down to the utility room will miss its slot and anything coming out will not be processed unless the empty basket is on my bed within the hour. Any final remaining clean clothe in the basket are hastiky shived in drawrs, dirty clothes come flying down the stairs, empty baskets get chucked in the direction of my door. The whole system works quite well 😁

She would hate me.
Ds 15 was greeted with a list of jobs when he got home from school today and told to text me when they were done and I would tell him where his Xbox controller was!
3 and 5 year old are also expected to put washing away with support.

I won't turn on the wifi to any gaming devices until any jobs are done to my satisfaction. Nothing major just bring down dirty clothes, change bedding, bring down plates and full bins. Everyone has to be incentivised! (apart from me of course)

My kids were expected to do their own laundry from 14 full stop.

My mum used to do everything on the basis childhood shouldn't be spent doing boring chores.

I think my kids will do their own as if they're capable of doing something independently, they should do it.

You've made me keen to get dd (2.5) to do more!

There's only three of us and we'd be running a half empty machine twice a day if we all did our own. Although, they do need to know how to do it so I'm going to add that the chores list.

My mum did everything for me and my siblings. Until I went to university I'd never washed a single item of clothing or ever made a meal more complicated than a sandwich. I'm embarrassed at how hopeless I was.

There's only three of us and we'd be running a half empty machine twice a day if we all did our own.

Or a full machine less frequently?

Or a full machine less frequently?

Ideally, yes, but some items need to be washed and can’t wait. I’m thinking PE kit, for example. (PE twice a week at secondary and I’m not buying three kits each for our three children as a friend of mine did for her child).

I suppose there are ways around it but all of them seem to include faff.

Bloody hell my 7 year old has to put her own washing away - I must be a terrible mother 😒

Pahahaha. Helicopter parenting at its best. YANBU.

My kids - youngest 11 - have the task of both sorting the washing into piles for each family member, and putting their own away.

it's not a lot to ask, considering everything the adults do for them.

Or a full machine less frequently?
My comment is in answer to someone saying DCs do their own laundry. I only have one whites wash a week, most of which is school shirts. If we all did our own I’d have three half full whites per week.
Absolutely they need to know how to do it though.

Or a full machine less frequently? We'd need to buy double the clothes for that, and I don't know how easily stains would come out if the clothes were left waiting to be washed for double the time.

Oh wow, she is really creating a man child of the future for the poor woman who marries her son.

I say to my DS 'I am raising a man not a useless wimp'

Since the age of 9, he puts clothes in the washer, takes them out and hangs them on the clothes dryer or line and then puts them in the basket for ironing. The next step is teaching him to iron. When I have ironed his clothes, he puts them away.

Never too young to teach children life skills.

Adding to the YANBU crowd. Another one who will not raise my DC to be useless like their father, thanks MIL. I have trained him now.

All of my DC help out with laundry. They put away their own clothes from about 6 years old. They can all sort laundry into different coloured piles and put on a wash.

Well I must be awful then because I play this "game" with my toddler

I start to shout quicker, QUICKER as he's running back and forth in hysterics picking up another top and packing it away.

Absolute game changer. He gets excited when I take the dried clothes off the line and starts shouting QUICKER!