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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask what is happening at this school?

77 replies

exhaustedmummyof3 · 12/07/2019 11:16

School traditionally awards a prize for the child who scores the highest mark in exams. Child A scored highest mark but child B was awarded prize because their score was close to child A's score and child B is a new child at the school.
Child A won all the races on sports day. Yet had to share the winners trophy with Child C because yet again the score was close.
Just wanted some thoughts on what is going on here?

OP posts:

herculepoirot2 · 12/07/2019 11:33

No idea. That’s not really enough information to hazard a guess.

MyOpinionIsValid · 12/07/2019 11:35

Re Exams: perhaps they are using the most efford or most improved formulae rather than the ultimate nest?

No idea on Sports day.

I know this is contraversial - why not ASK the school? they are the decision makers

NoSauce · 12/07/2019 11:36

That’s a bit rubbish. It should go the highest scorer full stop.

Wynturphelle · 12/07/2019 11:36

Did Child A win any other (bigger) prize? No idea what is going on but this can happen in races where the overall male and female winners are excluded from their age group category prizes for 1st, 2nd and 3rd.

TeenTimesTwo · 12/07/2019 11:38

Everyone is getting fed up of A winning everything and thus all the other children saying 'I might as well not bother, A will win anyway'.
So the school is rather ineptly trying to let other children win stuff too.

HennyPennyHorror · 12/07/2019 11:40

Did child A also get a prize for the exam results? So they split it? If so, I'd assume child A is always winning everything and they want someone else to have a prize.

Original poster

exhaustedmummyof3 · 12/07/2019 11:43

The school were asked. The response was, the scores were close.
This has never been the case previously with other children in former years, despite achieving close scores.

OP posts:

herculepoirot2 · 12/07/2019 11:44

Have you asked them why it matters that the scores were close, if the prize is meant to go to the highest scoring pupil? Are you actually sure it is meant to? What is the name of the award?

TremblingFanjo · 12/07/2019 11:45

Does child A win every prize and every race every year?

MyOpinionIsValid · 12/07/2019 11:47

It might be the hot weather, but I find thesse threads utterly futile. Unless Doris Stokes has risen from beyond the grave, none of us would have a scooby what goes on in the minds of the teachers.

My guess is Child A is one of those who wins to the point no one else wnats to have to take part. Which of course is fine if you're Usain Bolt, not so fine if you are Adam Gemeli.

Divebar · 12/07/2019 11:48

I think if they’re going to have prizes with criteria then they need to honour them. If they have one child winning everything then it does become rather tedious for everyone else whose children may be working just as hard or harder. In that instance the school needs to award prizes for a wider range of achievements to acknowledge the range of contributions that children make.

Amibeingdaft81 · 12/07/2019 11:49

Primary or secondary?

Re exams - in one subject or across all subjects?

Divebar · 12/07/2019 11:51

Unless Doris Stokes has risen from beyond the grave, none of us would have a scooby what goes on in the minds of the teachers

Laughing because She probably died a trillion years ago but I’m old enough to know who you mean

mcmen71 · 12/07/2019 11:52

Are you the parent of child A and it bothers you more than than the child.
I do feel for you but it is nice for different children to also win.
If your child is upset you can make them feel important by taking them out and making nice memories for them .
As kids get older they don't want to be winning all the time.

MilenaMay · 12/07/2019 11:55

Does child A have behavioural/respect problems at school.

Did child A win everything last year?

Is child A your child? I would be asking what the reason was if I was child A/parent.

MilenaMay · 12/07/2019 11:56

And I think if they don't follow the 'rules' when giving the awards then they shouldn't be giving out awards.

AllFourOfThem · 12/07/2019 11:59

Just wanted some thoughts on what is going on here?

If Child A consistently won and had received other awards for doing so, then I think it is fair that the awards go to somebody else this time.

RolyWatts · 12/07/2019 11:59

Ffs. It's not OK to do this op regardless of what is being said here. The message the school is sending to all children in this circumstance is shit. CHILD A doesn't matter how hard you work or fast you run you won't get a prize so Child A stops trying. CHILD B you don't have to actually come first to come first so don't worry about putting in as much effort next time. Either have awards and stick to the rules or if you're too concerned about the "losing" children's feelings just don't have the awards in the first place.

smoothy · 12/07/2019 12:01

If primary: I’d guess that school doesn’t like Child A’s parents and/or Child B and/or C’s parents are faculty members etc

Sobeyondthehills · 12/07/2019 12:02

Is Child A the same child in both examples?

smoothy · 12/07/2019 12:02

If Child A wins over and over again and this is such a problem for them then they need to add other prizes for other children to win, rather an pass over Child A

CassianAndor · 12/07/2019 12:05

Either they give these awards to the winner or they don't have awards at all.

Original poster

exhaustedmummyof3 · 12/07/2019 12:05

Child A is not my child. Child A does not win everything. Awards have previously been given to the top scorer across all exams. Trophy always goes to the winner on sports day. However this year it was shared. Child A was incredibly disappointed on both occasions.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 12/07/2019 12:06

What's going on is that they don't want the same child winning everything and are trying to be "fair" to those who were close. I'm not entirely sure I would agree with this action though.

S1naidSucks · 12/07/2019 12:06

It’s ridiculous that child A might be being ‘punished’ for winning every year, if that’s why they’ve done it. I can’t believe so many posters would think that’s acceptable. If he/she is the best, then they should be encouraged not treated as if they are at fault.

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