AIBU to send a snotty email to school?

[Dontbestupidagain]

My DD is in year 6 of a small school. She is very capable - greater depth in sats results and has a place at a very competitive grammar locally. The rest of her cohort are low ability and there is a high percentage of SEN. This hasn't been a problem generally and I have always felt the school have provided challenge for DD. Today however we had a conversation about what she had been doing at school. She said that in maths she went on the computer like always. I asked what she meant and it turns out that for the last three weeks she has been playing two maths games on the laptop as what the others are doing is too basic for her. She doesn't have a problem with this and has enjoyed it but she has had no teacher input or actual teaching herself. I'm pretty pissed off about this. I understand that she is more capable than the others but she has a right to be taught and stretched too. In my mind they should be setting her up for a strong start at secondary, plugging any gaps they feel she might have and building her confidence. Instead she has had nothing. I am going to write an email but just wanted to check that I'm not being over-zealous in my reaction. AIBU?

If she's on Mymaths or similar then she will be learning a great deal, they are really good sites- pupils are learning and having fun with the games on it. Dont send the email. If they have challenged DD up to now then leave on a good note.

Your poor daughter.

OP, welcome to England, where we accept second- and third-rate stuff so long as it’s free. The NHS is the “envy of the world” (despite the fact that in the 75 years since it’s been set up, no country has copied the model). The world envies sub-standard treatment because it’s free!

Now you should keep schtum about your child being put into a sub-standard class because (a) it’s free and (b) how dare your child get a better education than anyone else? The pernicious evil of socialism being applied to your child gives you no comfort. Evryone getting a shit education is better than the intelligent kids getting a better edication because that’s discrimination! Even NT kids getting a different education to SEN kids is discrimination here.

In Britain and certainly on Mumsnet we follow Harold Steptoe's school motto: "Know thy place and be grateful"

Fuck this “Don’t make waves” attitude, wrong is wrong.

It’s the last week of term, why? Leave it

You want to write a snotty email about the teaching your DD has received, when she's working at greater depth and has got a place at a selective grammar?

I must have misread - you want to write a nice card and say thanks?

The school term is almost over - children all over the country are not being challenged!

Our year 6 are is full wind down mode.
Practicing for the school play, doing more sport, writing for reports and yearbooks.
I.e not much

I hope you're not seriously intending to send a snotty email. Be thankful your child is a high achiever and pray she continues to a be high achiever throughout secondary school, and doesn't decide drinking cider in the park with her mates takes precedence over studying, in a few year's time.

My DD is in a very small cohort. I am not being disparaging by saying they are low ability. Not one other child even passed their sats. I know because we are a small community and are happy to share.

I call absolute nonsense on this. You're either lying or embellishing. Either way there's no way on earth an entire class bar one failed their SATs. No way on earth, no matter how happy sharing your community is (and I don't buy that every single parent in an entire class offered you their child's SATs results, either).

The OP’s DD may be working at greater depth and have a place at a grammar, but she’s not Isaac Newton yet. There is no reason she shouldn’t be doing proper maths like the rest of the class. If she is one child who needs a more challenging textbook and a pen, that’s not beyond the wit of man. Just because she is clever, why should she be denied a month of her education?

I call absolute nonsense on this.

Now now, it's perfectly possible... the Op said the class was small, perhaps there's only 2 pupils.

Juts amex sure that you also email her new grammar school regularly. Put a photo of yourself on the 1st email. That will let them put a face to that parent so much sooner.

"You want to write a snotty email about the teaching your DD has received, when she's working at greater depth and has got a place at a selective grammar?"

This in a nutshell. Proper maths can and often does involve "games" that challenge pupils while they enjoy them.

As for only 1 child passing their SATs - I don't believe you. In fact, based on that I think this thread is wind up.

ADropofReality

I don’t believe that’s entirely true, it’s all relative. If what the OP was describing happened at another point in the (academic) year then I would expect very different responses.
For me, the fact that her daughter has achieved the top ‘grade’, it’s so close to the end of term and, for her, primary school is why I wouldn’t take it any further.

FFS these sort of posts wind me up. Chill the fuck out. She is 11. GCSE's' are 5 years away.. Poor kids mentioned on your post...how dare the school hold back you precious little genius in the last week of term. Its a week from the summer holidays. Get a grip.

Wow, I am amazed at the people saying "just let it go" and you're "over-invested" of course she has a right to an education and I'd be annoyed too, you are her champion and she needs that, you are not over invested! No wonder so many kids don't get pushed and excelled!

At this stage of the year, they just need to relax a bit. The curriculum is finished - there is nothing left for them to learn. So it sounds like what they are doing now is applying what they have learnt and using maths in a fun way to complete the online games - don't assume they're easy! They enable the children to practise and consolidate skills they have learnt but in a fun way.

The children have worked really bloody hard this year. Their brains have started to liquify - especially in year 6.

I also call nonsense on your daugher being the only one of her cohort to have passed her SATs.

What? So one child in the class acheived GD and the rest failed to even achieve Expected? That's just bollocks.

If you have concerns then why can't you do what any reasonable and sensible parent would do and simply contact the school and have a perfectly polite and reasonable discussion?

Because I'm always fucking polite and reasonable. When dd got shoved by a boy with behavioural difficulties and ended up in A & E with suspected broken ribs I was very reasonable. When she comes home upset because she is never team captain to give all the other kids a chance I talk to her about how they might need that accolade more than her. Ditto with housepoint queen. It's taken for granted that she will do well so she never actually gets any recognition.

@ADropofReality

Brilliant post.

And the surprise steptoe reference at the end.

Op normally I would agree about complaining and I wholeheartedly agree with a drops post.

But on this one occasion I do feel after sats etc, she's safe and lined up for a great school.. Let her chill.

In fact I've told my own high achieving dd to relax and not worry about any work right now!
Sadly we couldn't get her onto the grammar on distance.

Op you're going to be in for one hell of a shock when your top of the class dd starts at the very competitive grammar school where everyone, literally everyone is clever.

Are you going to befriend all of the parents to find out where your dd ranks? You will have little idea where she sits really as she will be up against children of the same ability and possibly higher.

If I were you I would thank god that you have a wonderful, capable daughter who doesn't need any educational intervention.
She is likely to flourish at the new school and do very well for herself.

Maybe focus on all of the positive things instead? It serves me pretty well.
You have a lot to be grateful for, including the school who have taught her for the last 7 years, supported her and possibly struggled to teach children with such differing abilities as you describe.
Imagine trying to teach 12 X tables to a class where the majority struggle but one child sails through it? That one child is yours. Please don't send the email op.

There is no reason she shouldn’t be doing proper maths like the rest of the class

She is doing proper maths. She's just not recording her work in a book.

As I said before, the curriculum is finished now. There is nothing left to learn. She is practising and applying her maths knowledge/skills. If the other children are being set work, that is being done to bridge any gaps in their knowledge that have come out of the SATs results.

There is nothing left for the teachers to teach her.

There is nothing left for the teachers to teach her.

That is categorically not the case. I am a secondary school teacher. If a child has finished the curriculum, you give them work from off the curriculum. You don’t leave them to coast. It is fundamentally bad teaching. If the whole class is watching videos, well, okay, but if every other child is being taught apart from her, her attainment is being capped.

ADropofReality

If a child has finished the curriculum and secured GD, suggesting that there are no gaps in her knowledge, then what exactly is the teacher supposed to teach her?

It's also unfair to suggest that state education is substandard - the children work really bloody hard at school. Whatever you think of the teachers themselves, the expectations of the children are really high.

I'm just not sure why you've left it until the last week of term to have a moan? What do you want to achieve from this really? And do you not feel the school have taught her well for her to be in the position she is now?

You said "shit kids", op. Poor kids, you've written them off.

As for writing a 'snotty' email, that's a disgraceful idea and embarrassing for your daughter if she found out about it. I hope you don't embarrass her when she goes to the grammar school. She will be much the same as everyone else there.