“brave the shave”

[AdultFishcakes]

I know IABU but a friend’s daughter is shaving off all of her hair for charity next week as part of “brave the shave”.

As good as it is to see a teenager aware of the devastation cancer can cause and wish to do something about it AIBU to find it this campaign borderline insulting to those who genuinely lose their hair as a side effect of treatment?

YANBU. I absolutely LOATHE it. And yes, it is quite offensive towards genuine sufferers.

Also, it smacks of virtue-signalling, and attention seeking... All over social media ...... Look at MEEEEEEEEE, look at MEEEEEEEEE!

Feck off!

Yes I agree. My husband for many many years has a shaved head. He only had hair when we got married. When he was told he’d have to have chemotherapy he was upset he would loose his hair as no hair was no longer who he was.

Depends, is she doing it in solidarity with a close friend or family member? I know a close group of girls at school who when one had cancer shaved their heads to raise money, in solidarity and so she didn't feel so alone. That I think was a nice gesture but I suppose also quite virtue signalling.

If she's just doing it for attention then YANBU. Not all teenagers can see the bigger picture or put themselves in someone else's shoes.

@AdultFishcakes its so stupid... some people shave their hair of for £50 probably raise more doing a run or climbing a mountain 🤦🏻‍♀️ not to mention the way people must feel who actually have to lose their hair due to chemo! Like shaving your head could EVER compare to going through that.

Virtue signalling at its worse. Cancer patients have no choice in this, these brave the shavers do.
I know cancer survivers who find this very offensive.

I can't bear this but can't articulate why

All discussed to death many times previously. The general consensus is that it's shit, and I agree. YANBU. I particularly despise the Macmillan page showing people looking like they're having a whale of a jolly time being 'brave'. It bloody sucks. Nothing remotely enjoyable or fun about losing hair from chemo.

Makes me so cross and nothing to do with how people with cancer look and feel. Perhaps they'd also like to be throwing up for months, and lose eyebrows and eyelashes too, so their eyes water all the time? And have the extreme fatigue..etc etc.

I have a huge amount of respect for Macmillan as they have been an absolute godsend for us, but I have challenged them about this campaign.

YANBU. Voluntarily shaving your head cannot begin to compare with losing ALL your hair (eyebrows, eyelashes, body hair, the lot), puffiness from steroids, jaundice, nausea, compromised immune system, secondary infections, loss of self esteem, depression, anxiety and all the other shit that goes along with chemo. if all the head-shaving virtue-signallers had to endure all that I bet they wouldn't be so bloody keen to brave the bloody shave. Bahhhhhhh.

Not to mention the fact that people undergoing chemo are literally facing the very real possibility of imminent death. I cannot begin to imagine how terrifying that is.

But hey, let me shave my head to raise £100 - it's exactly the same experience

To be honest, I find a lot of charity sponsorship to be virtue signalling. I hate the ‘sponsor me to run a marathon, or abseil down a building, or come to my cake sale, or whatever’. I feel like I’m paying them to do something they want to do anyway and most of them could easily afford to just pay the £200 or whatever they need to raise. My FB timeline is FULL of these and I’ve had to stop donating. I’d happily pay money for people to come round and clean my car, or babysit, or mow the lawn, but nobody seems to want to raise money by doing that.

I had chemo and lost my hair. I hate brave the shave, it bollocks.

I also agree with this...
Also, it smacks of virtue-signalling, and attention seeking... All over social media ...... Look at MEEEEEEEEE, look at MEEEEEEEEE!

I know someone at work who did this a few years ago, she was so attention seeking it was unbelievable. She wrapped it all up as she was having solidarity for a friend who had cancer. She then had a whole epiphany apparently after she was shaved and still has a shaved head now as it's the real her. she went on and on and on about it for months. Everyone was fed up to the back teeth of it.

I have had cancer myself (not needed chemo) and have family members who have lost their hair through chemo and all of us find it offensive. It's not a laugh and a jolly to lose your hair. It can have devastating effects on people.

Yes I also hate sponsoring people. If I give a tenner to charity, I'm ten quid down and they're ten quid up...whether you've climbed a mountain, shaved your head or run a marathon is irrelevant.

I'm a cancer survivor and I hate this. I find it insulting.

Oh god sorry for bringing a seasoned topic up, I dunno - usually I’d agree re virtue signalling but the girl doing it is only 15 and really does not come across as the VS type, more an innocent wish to do good gone too far?

Now THIS is going to sound shitty but I’d be more inclined to sponsor her more if she was doing a sponsored walk or cycle or something... this brave the shave thing is just too gimmicky

I think it’s fine if done in solidarity alongside a friend or relative going through chemo. I know some parents do it so their children don’t feel so weird and I find that notion extremely heartwarming.

Doing it purely for charity is a bit odd though. I’ve never really understood any of it, like the people who sit in a bath of beans . Seems a bit attention seeking.

Yanbu. I had cancer and lost all my hair. Shaving it off is 100% different. I’d have looked at you crosswise if someone told me they had done it for “me”.

Funny that so far, around one in four people think 'brave the shave' is OK (the ones that disagree with the OP.) Yet not ONE of these posters (around 30 people) are posting on the thread.

Interesting.....

If you're friends with her mum, then maybe speak to her about it or show her this thread.

At 15 she probably has no clue how people see this.

Not a chance @Turningroundthebush

Her mum, all her mums friends on FB are cheering the girl on.

Again, I dunno. A load of 30/40 somethings bigging up a 15 year old to shave their head?

Just doesn’t sit right and as Pearl clutchy as this sounds it smacks of irresponsibility

Is the hair going to be used to make a wig or is it being wasted?There's a charity that does that I think and makes wigs from real hair to give to patients.

In my experience waking up in a hotel and seeing most of my wife's hair on the pillow was not pleasant. She list huge chunks of hair a week after her first chemo and while we were away trying to find peace. The upside was a lovely shop assistant who helped her choose a scarf to wear. The even better up side is that six years later she is sitting with me and has most of her hair back.
Did the person who had her head shaved have all the hair in her nose removed so it dripped constantly, gave al. The hair in her ears removed, have her private parts shaved or was it all for show?
Sorry rant over but do something more useful.

It does smack of attention seeking and from what I know, those who have lost their hair through cancer treatment find it pretty offensive. There are lots of ways to raise money without doing this YANBU.

YANBU. It gives me the rage twitch.