“brave the shave”

[AdultFishcakes]

I know IABU but a friend’s daughter is shaving off all of her hair for charity next week as part of “brave the shave”.

As good as it is to see a teenager aware of the devastation cancer can cause and wish to do something about it AIBU to find it this campaign borderline insulting to those who genuinely lose their hair as a side effect of treatment?

Literally just found out this and yes @Kanga83

Which is a good thing.

Yep. Virtue signalling. Hate it.

If it's being donated then I can't see it being a bad thing? Wasted, yes, definitely virtue signalling. But their teenagers, anything to raise awareness is a good thing. Teenagers get blamed for so much, maybe it's time to praise them a little.

Having lost my hair through chemotherapy I do find it really offensive. When you lose your hair it's not just your head hair it's every where. Actually the most traumatic for me was my eyebrows and eyelashes (don't see many people shaving those off!) as I ended up with constant eye infections (I had six styes at one point !!). You realise your eyelashes do actually have a purpose and it's not for putting mascara on!

The thing I really struggled with was would any of it grow back again? Would I pull through and be normal again? I couldn't imagine ever being or looking 'normal' again.

It is offensive for anyone to think that shaving your hair off (which within 24 hours will grow again!) is anything remotely similar to losing your very identity, maybe permanently.

Imagine the uproar if we were sponsored to diet for anorexia charities? Or be blindfolded to raise money for the Blind Society etc.etc? It's so wrong and thoughtless.

@LellyMcKelly nail hit on the head. An old friend of mine went to Machu Picchu to raise money for our local hospice, she needed at least £9k. I couldn’t help thinking a) sounds like she has always fancied going there on holiday and b) if she didn’t bother with the trip how many of those thousands would go straight to the hospice rather than the holiday? Not really selfless..

An acquaintance did this a few years ago.
She cut her hair into a pixie haircut because she didn’t like the idea of fully shaving her head.

The thing is though, if this is being promoted, however wrongly, by a big cancer charity, can we really blame people for doing it? This teenager probably thinks she’s doing something great, and has no idea that many would find it offensive. I hope that she’s at least donating the hair to somewhere that uses it to make wigs though. Would that make it mildly better?

I think Macmillan Cancer Care should take a stand on this. They must be aware by now how many people are upset and offended by it. I am. It can't possibly compare to the absolute misery the effects of chemotherapy cause. It's 12 years since I donated my wig to my local hospital after months of wear but the experience stays with you.

Macmillan won't say anything. Do you remember a few years ago how they hijacked the ALS ice bucket challenge? I haven't donated to them since because they were so underhand. Donations go straight to Cancer Research now.

OP have you had chemo? I have and lost my hair. It grew back. I have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM with this type of fundraising activity, or any other kind of fundraising activity for that matter. Save your outrage for something else, eg all the hospital trusts that missed their 2-week wait targets for breast cancer. Esp the one that only managed to see 8.5% of patients within 2 weeks of referral.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3346461-Brave-The-Shave-NOT-IN-MY-NAME

I have huge admiration for the Lacies (lurked whilst I was having a scare) and to see how many of them hate the phrase has formed my opinion that this is poorly judged campaign. I was pretty much on-the-fence until the thread last year (linked above)

I didn't realise that TurningAroundTheBush, I remember ringing MacMillan when I was ill and they weren't particularly informative. Breast Cancer Care were amazing though.

Is lovely when done in solidarity for mum/sister/best mate but this “corporate” promotion of it is wrong on so many levels. And I doubt the hair is being donated for wigs because that’s a different charity, and needs to be a certain length and plaited/pony when snipped off - so less of a “spectacle” with the clippers.
humble brag I grow my hair and cut it to donate for wigs via Little Princesses (other hair-for-wigs-for-kids charities may be available)

It’s up to them really if they want to support someone. It’s a great look, very liberating, & the very least of your problems when you have cancer.

I doubt they will stop a fundraising activity that raises a lot of money, times are hard enough for charities to fund raise as it is.

@OneShotLattePlease that’s the charity that her hair will be donated to

Again, a decent noble thing to do. I just wish it wasn’t attached to “Brave the fucking Shave”.

nnnrghhhhh

As someone who has lost their hair to chemo fairly recently, I have to say...this doesn't really bother me?

Of course, it all depends on the person, but I don't find it a problem in itself. Some people will do it for attention yes but (before I had cancer myself) I knew a couple of people who did it and they did have quite long hair and it was quite a big deal for them.

No its not the same, to get that you would have to remove your eyebrows and lashes (and pubes) and look dog rough for months on end, whilst feeling like shite. But I think shaving your head voluntarily for charity isn't necessarily just 'attention seeking'.

I was a bit when that guy from Love Island (Nathan I think) shaved his head for charity, he didn't even have long hair to start with, just a blokes haircut!

Oh and her hair was donated to the little princess foundation. It's not about trying to go through what people are experiencing. It's about doing some good and doing what we can. This thread has really gotten my goat. Bashing people for trying to do positive? Come ON.

Oh dear...

I'm not massively keen on it, but it's raising money and there are a lot of advance s made in cancer research lately, so I guess its helping.
My cancer treatment hasn't caused my hair to fall out. It does give me diahorreah, acne, cystitis and a bunch of other symptoms I notice no one is queuing up to experience in solidarity.

It does give me diahorreah, acne, cystitis and a bunch of other symptoms I notice no one is queuing up to experience in solidarity.

Lol, yes, I would like to see 'Brave the Shit' where you take something which makes you so constipated that you dread everytime you go for a poo for weeks on end because you know it's going to be like shitting out a cannon ball and will rip you in half! Now that would be solidarity!

I'm sorry it's such an insult to some of you who have survived cancer. I guess we just won't bother if heaven forbid there's ever a next time

Are you able to understand that the feelings of those with or who have had cancer should be paramount here? Of course it's great that money was raised and hair was donated but the fact remains that a no. 1 all over is nothing like a smooth, follicle-free scalp. ALL hair can fall out, even brows and lashes. Nails can come off too. I lost around 50% of my hair through methotrexate treatment but I cannot begin to imagine how devastating it must be to be completely bald, all over.

The reality for many people having chemo is a damn sight more extreme than a buzz cut. So I can see why 'brave the shave' can be perceived as minimising what people actually go through. If you really want to help someone with cancer, offer to weed the garden, walk the dog, mind the kids for a couple of hours, nip to the pharmacy or even just provide a listening ear. These things are of far more use to the individual than a haircut.

@SlipperyWhenWatery

WTF have I just read?

I’ve had cancer and unlike a majority of posters, I appreciate anything people do to fund raise or show support. I’ve never seen it as the ‘shaver’ thinking they now understand what it’s like to lose your hair. I appreciate the effort.