To say that my family will starve in the gutter

[LordScamperdale]

Before I buy bloody funeral insurance from that prat who grows too many parsnips!

I don't care how much it costs to bury/burn me, I'm not giving any money to any insurance company (can't even remember it's name) that is responsible for such shit.

Possibly I watch too much daytime TV.

Brilliant thread
I'm currently laughing at
Do you have to be healthy (apart from being dead)

There's nothing as deadly as day time telly. Stair lifts. Equity release. Funeral plans. Mobility scooters. Incontinence pads. River Cruises.

This topic and threads has made me laugh out loud for the last hour and I’m on my own reading them. There are some seriously witty people on this site, thanks for the entertainment!

I haven't seen much of June and Dad since the Travel Channel turned into shitting DMAX and I don't watch it any more

My favourite one was the advert with the wake where the friends were taking the piss out of dead man's tiny swimshorts and then his wife cries. That's all I took from it. Not sure what it was for.

My mum paid for a funeral plan and it didn't even cover half the cost!
You're right June is after him and wants a right big parsnip 😂

Dd is allergic to parsnips. She reckons the funeral plan is a clue to a potential murder situation. I've been trying to work out why my funeral will cost as much as my elaborate wedding. You could just put some savings in a bank to cover funeral costs...

I sometimes have the TV on overnight at work.

I know the "good advice is Key" ad, where a small dance company do some flash mob thing in someone's drive, the guy with the crate of parsnips and a multitude of incontinence wear, deaf aid and denture ads.

Why is that woman shoogling sideways through an airport scanner in a spangling, sequined samba costume?? 🤔

And why, if no one can see your incontinence wear, do you get off your bike and shout about it to anyone who's listening?

Did she leave her deaf aids at home?

My mum did equity release which meant she could do her home up to live in it until she dies. We don’t care about the money after she’s gone, much better she lives better now. Plus she’s got a 5k Isa for her funeral. She’s a planner.

June’s a grief tourist I reckon.

I think I saw this advert this morning where the woman comes in to his house? I quickly pressed mute on the TV at that point 😂

I shout "Fuck off, June!" at the TV every time that ad comes on. It's a running joke in our house. 😆
Derek and his sodding parsnips can go run up a shutter an' all.

Mary is his wife isn’t she? He says she’s “thinking of making parsnip jam” I think!

I wouldn’t touch his poxy funeral plan, they’re a rip off (RIP - get it, eh eh eh?! Never mind.) You may pay in more than they pay out and if you cancel it you get nowt. I think a pre paid funeral with Age Uk or the Co-op would be better, that’s what I’m looking into anyhow!

One parsnip is too many

Love LordNibbler’s reply! (Not getting any parsnip!)

Omzlas

So don't. Put some money aside, after you've looked into how much a funeral / burial / cremation costs

🤣🤣🤣Well aren’t you just a laugh a minute! Bloody hell - get a sense of humour woman!

Great thread op. Very funny. 😁

I always have the sound turned down during adverts but I think the one you refer to (or very similar one) is where the letter doesn't even go to the right house - possibly postie getting it wrong, but, if said funeral/insurance company, damned if I'd want to give any money to a company that can't even get my address right - quite like parsnips though giggling

I haven’t lived!! I haven’t seen these adverts about death

Do you actuall SEE any parsnip action?

@WoollyMollyMonkey my mum did the co-op one and it only ended up covering half the cost as no co-op undertakers nearby. They were happy to take her money though and not point it out 😢 x

This thread has had me howling As for donating to medical science, I have applied and yez you have to be dead but also not have had certain illnessrs etc, it is quite stringent so dont think I will pass. Nos the idea of donating to forensic science really appeals but not sure we do it in UK yet

He is well dodgy. He bumps off his multiple wives, claims on the funeral plans then buries them in the garden - that’s why the parsnips grow so well!

June, you need to run away fast - it’s your over 50’s plan he’s after...