Is Prom a waste of money?

[Oodilally]

My ds 11 has his leavers prom next week. I've bought him a suit (which will only be worn once, that's unreasonable) and still need to get shoes. I'm wondering if it's a complete waste of money or if it's worth forking out for a single event? Is this just a money making scheme via the school or an important rite of passage to celebrate leaving primary school? What are your thoughts?

I'm appalled by the whole 'prom' concept (even the name makes me shudder). The amount that gets spent...even if you try and go low budget there seems to be immense pressure to throw money at it. My friend's DD wore a £400 dress, bar my wedding dress I've never worn anything that expensive in my life! And hearing they are starting at 11...ridiculous and unnecessary. They will have plenty of time in their life to get dressed up and party!

My prom leaving secondary school was an amazing night and so much fun - definitely not a waste of money.

But for 11 year olds!! They won't even remember it..? surely!

Yes I do think a suit for an 11 year old boy is a waste of money . Are all the other boys planning to wear suits? It's different at 16 as it should fit for a couple more years and can be useful for interviews etc or even smart nights out. DS worn his secondary prom suit a couple of times since and it still fits but no way would he have worn again age 11 ( unless family wedding coming up)

ssd If you'd called your post "my experience of proms", I would have had no issue with your post. But just because you've experienced something doesn't make it the reality for everyone else.

Thankfully my 11 year old has a leavers' party which involves running around on the school playing field, a big bouncy castle and a BBQ.
No new fancy clothes required but simply a lot of fun.

I think it’s a shame people think spending money on their children is a waste. If it’s important to the child in question and they’d regret not going then it’s not a waste.

Year 6 it's a bit ridiculous. I was on the organising committee when mine were in year 6 and our head was crystal clear that we were not to call it 'prom' and although we could have a theme, it was to be nothing that would encourage over the top dressing up/limo hire and all that sort of thing. Children could effectively come in clothes they already had. We had a beach party and most of the DCs came in shorts and Tshirts.
End of secondary though I think they deserve a party night. Though I'm very very glad that I've got boys.

I've just been looking at a friend's year 6 prom photos on Facebook. The boys are all wearing jeans and trainers but with a shirt and tie. The girls are a bit more dressy but mostly what we would have thought of as a party dress, maybe with sandals and a clutch bag (possibly mum's?) I think it would be madness to spend lots of money on a year 6 prom.

Formal wear required for 11 years old? That’s bonkers! DS had a leavers disco, the boys were wearing a nice shirt perhaps, the girls looked like the have done a bit of an effort. There were a handful in prom dresses, full make up and heels... I hate to say this but at 11 years old they looked a bit... off, to put it in a nice way.

Frangipane, that's exactly what I wrote up thread.

Sounds bonkers from the school OP, I would have gone with school trousers, school shoes, shirt and tie. Potentially a waistcoat if I could find one on eBay. Maybe they put 'formal wear' to avoid a load of jeans and character t-shirts?

If he doesn't really need new shoes then I'd clean up his black trainers, maybe tidy laces and send him in those, no one will be looking at his shoes.

A bouncy castle at age 11?

My DS is having the usual school disco leavers thing.
But some overbearing teacher (I'm looking at you Mrs Year 6 Teacher) has decided to host an out of school party at the local WM club.
That's fine, but the letter informing parents of this states that parents must be present also.
Again, fine. However, some well meaning parent has also organised a reunion party for year 7's to "have a catch up", on the same bloody night with parents expected to be on site.
I have visions of me doing a Mrs Doubtfire as the venues are only 5 mins walk apart.

Yes.

It turned out that my ds' "prom" at the end of primary was just what the class needed. Whole thing cost 45 pounds including limo. No suit just not football shirts/trackies.
I dont understand why some on mumsnet are so against them, times change and why shouldn't they enjoy themselves as a class as they end 6 years of schooling and go their separate ways to secondary school?

I saw a photo on fb of a primary school prom and was so saddened to see these little girls dressed up in floor length dresses, heels & full make up. They looked so weird. But at the end of the line up of girls (in front of the limo) was one gorgeous girl in a knee length summer dress with some nice ballerina pumps & even tho i don’t know her mum i liked her instantly.

It is a waste of money but I would buy a suit so he doesn't feel left out and poor.

We aren't having a primary school prom here either. Just a school disco. Is this the new 'leavers hoodie waste of money' thread? We're not doing that either!

Our 13/14 yo’s had their middle school prom this week. It’s quite an occasion with all the parents and some of the community turning out to see them all arrive. Yes it’s expensive, yes it’s Americanised..but they all have such a lovely time. Especially the girls in their princess frocks. It is their moment to shine, with no cynicism because they really are still just children.

And the hoodies are lovely too! You can get those free if you sufficient house points,

These things wouldn’t take off if the children didn’t love them..plus they raise money for the school,

My son at year 6 disco wore a waistcoat and trousers but trainers with it. It looked fine. I know some kids wore school shoes but his were too tatty as end of term and wasn't going to buy any more until the new term.

My twins are in year 6 and their school is having a leavers meal at a local restaurant. I think they have a private function room and there will be a buffet and a bit of dancing. Some mums have hired limos to take their daughters though which I find absolutely crazy. The meal only lasts for 1.5 hours and we live about 2 miles from the restaurant. I told my dd that no way was I paying for a limo to take her 2 miles, one of the other girls said she could come in her limo for £20 - still no. I think we had a disco in the school hall when I left primary school, it was age appropriate and we all enjoyed it.

We also bought leavers hoodies, £18 each, so not cheap when you have twins. They wore them on their school residential and haven’t bothered with them since.

What happened to the cheesy school disco? That I never got to go to, not that I’m bitter or anything.

Leavers party is a great idea, a physical activity with bouncy castles, so there is no need for fancy dresses.
Are leaving aged 12 is usually a barbecue during school hours, school uniform, no evening fuss.
The Debs prom ball at 17 is an expensive time, it is a one off so I will be saving for at least a year before hand to give the DC a great time.
No crystal limo but an expensive dress and a party.
I doubt DS will be as expensive as DD for the debs formal