Is Prom a waste of money?

[Oodilally]

My ds 11 has his leavers prom next week. I've bought him a suit (which will only be worn once, that's unreasonable) and still need to get shoes. I'm wondering if it's a complete waste of money or if it's worth forking out for a single event? Is this just a money making scheme via the school or an important rite of passage to celebrate leaving primary school? What are your thoughts?

Surely no one is forcing you to buy a suit he will wear once?
most of the boys at DS's prom just wore trousers and a shirt they already had (ad quite a few wore jeans). And can he not just wear his school shoes? Sounds like you're making it unnecessarily expensive.

A Year 6 leaving event is fun to attend, but shouldn't be super expensive.

Y11 prom its definitely worth it, it’s a real right of passage for them.

Y6 I certainly wouldn’t go all out for. Just a smarting outfit that they already have/ you know will be worn again. They’re only 11.

It’s getting spoiled by one upmanship amongst the parents. The limos are a stupid idea but once parents of younger kids see one turning up to school they think that’s just what wveryone does.

My 10 year old has his leavers prom in 2 weeks, they are all wearing T-shirt’s & shorts!!! The girls will most likely dress up, in pretty summer dresses.

Saving the suit/limo thing for the actual prom at 18.

Madness spending money at leaving Y6, all they care about is a drink of pop & talking about fortnite!

I threw a prom for my Yr11 year group yesterday. It was brilliant and absolutely worth while. Lots of kids dropped off by parents and dressed smartly rather than in very expensive outfits. The whole event cost them (and staff) £29. Agree it seems daft at the end of primary. End of Yr 11is a 'comming of age' celebration. Im going to miss my kids so much. I loved celebrating with them yesterday.

I got him the suit because it says on the prom invite formal wear is necessary, there will be a red carpet and "paparazzi", obviously I don't want him to be left out so yes I've spent money so he's not the only one there in casual clothes. I do think it's a bit much, a disco would suffice. Not all parents can afford these sort of things, and as he gets older I find everything costs more. Is it just me? I mean I never had a prom, I think it creates a divide among children and they get more and more "look at me look what I've got".

A waste of money, and an encouragement to fast fashion which is the second biggest contributor to climate change. Also based on a tradition that presumes heterosexuality.

Why can't he wear his school shoes?

And yes, it's all a huge waste of everyone's money. I really think parents and/or schools need to start reining it in, for everyone's sake. A disco in the school hall, fine. A prom with expensive clothes and limos and in a posh venue, it's absolutely unnecessary and some children are always going to end up being left out because their families can't afford it all.

Y11 prom its definitely worth it, it’s a real right of passage for them.

Rite of passage. I know it's just a typo, but I wouldn't want anyone starting to think having a prom is a 'right'. It really isn't.

there will be a red carpet and "paparazzi"

WTAF?

@bridgetreilly he wears black trainers to school and they're not classed as formal attire, so yeah, I have to spend money

Yes paparazzi and red carpet too, can you see where I think it's all a bit much for an 11 yr old? I'll pay for it as I'm sure many parents would, I just don't get why it's becoming such a big thing

11? Bloody hell, this 'prom' crap is getting stupid. YANBU.

Rediculous, we had jelly and icecream at that age.

Sounds ridiculous- the whole red carpet and fake paparazzi, WTF?? Are these things that people aspire to?? I feel bad for you OP, what a pain!

I get it for Y11, although a red carpet would still be ridiculous, but I can understand the marking of the occasion with a prom. But for leaving primary school, a party on the school field is fine. I have to say that my DS’s “year book” from primary school is a treasured possession and he wears his hoodie loads, one year on!

So there will be someone on the door turning away children who are wearing smartish trousers, a shirt and black trainers? Really? Or does "formal" for an 11 year old just mean "not ripped jeans"? Why not make a stand by agreeing with other parents you're not all going to go mad?

11 years old? What happened to a disco with a smoke machine and Panda Pops ?

Any primary teachers about? I suspect that the teachers wouldn’t prefer it to be in a posh venue as it is then less responsibility and organisation for them? I don’t blame them for that, they deserve a medal for getting through to the end of the exhausting summer term with a smile on their face.

WOULD prefer it

My DS end of primary prom, I brought him chino shorts and a grandad style RL shirt , he wore his leather converse.

Too late, but the best thing would have been to boycott it.

@CurlyhairedAssassin
IME of Year 6 Prom, it's the parents who organise it, nothing to do with teachers.

Look people, times have changed. Proms are a big thing for your kids, more so for the girls I found, cos they can get all dressed up. There's no use saying oh I had a bottle of lemonade and some crisps at the school disco, it's 2019 now not 1985. Kids all go to prom and if they don't cos mammy has a strop on about how ridiculous it all is, they are excluded from the build up, the discussing what you're wearing etcetc.
Let your kid go to prom, hide the cats bum mouth and the back in my day boring stories, let them join in with the rest of the class.
Of course it's a waste of money but it's a good waste of money.

ssd you realise OP is talking a Year 6 prom? I don't think they are a big thing now (my DC are not long past year 6) and I don't think most of the DC spend weeks beforehand talking about whst they are going to wear.

At year 11, yes, but literally no one has said that they are not a big deal.

Sorry but his school are taking the piss.

They are leaving Primary school you should not be expected to fork out for 'formal wear' and to be honest my DD would not be going under those circumstances and I would be telling the school why.

My DD2 is in yr 6 and her 'prom' consist of Pizza, doughnuts and a disco. And they could come dressed in anything that they feel comfortable in.