Is Prom a waste of money?

[Oodilally]

My ds 11 has his leavers prom next week. I've bought him a suit (which will only be worn once, that's unreasonable) and still need to get shoes. I'm wondering if it's a complete waste of money or if it's worth forking out for a single event? Is this just a money making scheme via the school or an important rite of passage to celebrate leaving primary school? What are your thoughts?

Please please please to my lovely sensible school - carry on as you are with a leavers meal in a local restaurant. All the kids put on their best trendy outfits and apparently its a great night out. No need for suits and special shoes - but still a fun night out!

RedSkyLastNight

Sigh, yes, I can read too.

My daughter just had her Y6 leavers disco; they had a red carpet and a formal photo taken on way in, dj, selfie booth, mocktails, chips from the chippie.
They loved it, no limos, no formal attire. Just them and their mates not having to share a disco with the rest of KS2 with some bits that seperate it from the same discos they’ve attended for the past 4 years.

There is no charge for this event. It’s also the PTA’s way of saying thank you to the children and parents who have supported the school for the past 7 years.

primary prom is a bit ridiculous really. Very OTT and completely unnecessary

I would not buy a suit for a year 6 leavers prom. Is it a prom, or just a leavers do? School trousers, shirt and tie would suffice. And school shoes.

One of my kids had a sleepover in the school field, in tents, when leaving primary school. The other had a BBQ in the playground. Both had water-fights with the teachers. Much more age appropriate and no suits or limos required.

It made DD1's year 11 prom all the more special as it was the first time they had really dressed up and there was a genuine sense of it being their first real adult formal event. 16yos in ballgowns/suits look amazing. 11yos just look a bit silly.

OK, here's the reality of prom nights.
Aged 11.
Held in school hall, a dj, party food, usually done and dusted by 10pm. Girls dress up in party dresses, wear strappy sandals/converse/docs. Wear party make up, get hair curled or put up. Have a sparkly bag. Feel grown up and sophisticated. Boys wear suit, or smart shorts or trousers and smart shirt or polo, gel in their hair, school shoes or trainers. The boys generally look like they are being babysat by the girls,who look much older all done up. A mum might arrange a limo and other mums chip in, it cost me a tenner. Picks the kids up, drives them round the block then drops them at school, kids all excited they've been in a limo. Or kids walk to school or get dropped off. Mum's usually congregate in someone's house, drink wine and marvel at how time flies. Kids enjoy the night and the dressing up, some more than others.

Fast forward, aged 17/18. Prom dresses being thought of months in advance, big discussions about who is wearing /spending what. Hair/nails /tan etc major factors. Boys wear smart suits, good if they get job interview etc. Ours was held in big centre of town hotel. Meal chosen by the yearbook committee. Teachers involved, strictly no alcohol, much to the disgust of the 17/18 year olds who are now all seasoned drinkers. No limos. Fake Ids in handbags/pockets to get into a club afterwards. Parents not getting to sleep till they get home around 3am. Expensive for parents due to dress costs, taxi costs, ticket costs etc.
And that's it folks!!

Prom for primary school is OTT in my opinion. At age 16,fine, there is a market for second hand dresses and suits in my area as they crop up regularly on Facebook selling sites. Some families spend £1000 plus. I think it's a shame for those who can't afford it. At age 11 it's unnecessary. What happened to the school disco?

Perfectly succinct summary @ssd !

Primary School in a local town has just had its "prom" in a local nightclub where the kids were allowed to drink mock-tails, a lot of the girls were covered in an inch of make up, fake tan and false eyelashes, dressed in not a lot and they looked down right ridiculous

Absurd, but I assure you not money making for school!

here's the reality of prom nights.
Not the reality I recognise at Year 6 (or the reality of many of the posters on this thread). Which just says this is not yet widespread, so if people think it is ridiculous, then they should change it/refuse to go along with it!

It is ott and a waste of money but why are you buying a suit?! You are ramping the price up unnecessarily. If they must go just get them a white shirt from Asda, some cheap trousers and borrow one of his dad’s ties, that wouldn’t cost the earth.

A lot of good points made, thank you everyone for your thoughts on this

gotmychocolateimgood how can anyone manage to spend £1000 on a prom? Surely a ticket to get in would only be about £50 (a meal, no alcohol as they are 16) and then a dress £150 or suit hire under £100? I’m not sure where the other £800 or so is going?

I think mine cost about £30 (if that) in 2000, I borrowed a dress from my sil and my friend’s parents paid to hire a (tacky) limo, so it was literally just a meal out to pay for.

Hmm I think you'll arrive and see boys in dark jeans and a shirt at most.

Yes at primary school. However, my DD high school prom didn't cost that much. Dress only cost £25, and she looked lovely.

Prom for primary school? Seriously?

I thought my nephew’s primary graduation was OTT enough with the cost of hiring graduation gowns and all the stuff but a prom seems to be a proper piss take.

My niece is going to her y6 leavers in a new pretty dress and shoes and having her hair and nails done. It does seem a waste of money to me mainly because my sister clearly can’t afford it all.

I offered to buy my own daughter some new clothes (no pretty dresses here she hates them) for her y6 leavers disco- not prom the head teacher has banned that word- but she’s said no thanks she’s going to wear her favourite clothes that she wears all the time anyway she did offer to ‘let’ me just give her the cash I would have spent because she’s a cheeky little fucker

RedSkyLastNight, not your reality? so what, that's my experience. I never said it should cost a fortune, I said up thread I went to charity shops. For both kids. I don't do social media so haven't a clue what others paid. Again not my problem /experience. If you want to sniff at what I wrote, sniff away.

Primary prom is ridiculous, I hope it doesn't catch on here, DC are far to much to indulge in.
The teenage prom has been around for every and really out of control, crystal sparkly limo 700euro an hour.
My Dneice is having her leaving prom aged 17, no crystal limo for her but it will still set Dsis back a 1000, between dress, makeup hair, balloon arch, pre-party at home for guests.

Is it actually a prom or end of term disco/ meal etc , when ds1 left primary school last year they went to a restaurant ( paid for by the school) .

Surely the word prom is just an Americanism for “leavers disco”.

Yes should be a simple school disco pref in uniform so there is no pressure on the children to look or wear a certain thing.

The whole prom thing is a commercial venture that I can never support in any form.

Prom is just a word used for the kids, makes a leavers do more of a grown up event.
No need to get hung up on it.